Ever seriously considered wetting yourself?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by dazmart, Dec 27, 2008.

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  1. Found this on another site (football forum) - such posts can often prompt some good old laughs, so to cheer those of us at home recovering after Xmas... any personal experiences to share?

    "Came home from the pub last night and on the bus I was so desperate for a pee I seriously thought I was going to lose it in my jeans. At one stage I was in so much discomfort and had to go so badly I actually contemplated whether to wet myself. I was rocking back and forth wondering whether I could get away with the embarrassment. Fortunately, I somehow managed to hang on until I got off (just!) and so didn't have to make the decision.

    Today, looking back - I can't believe that I was truly thinking about pis**ng my pants!!

    Has anyone else ever had to go so bad that you've almost been prepared to pee yourself?"
  2. regular occurrence of wetting my pants, especially during freezing and wet exercises, those few seconds of warmth down your legs can really cheer you up and boost your morale.
  3. Again.

    I've done this several times for the benefit of a couple of seconds of warmth on exercise and on ops.

    I can even go one better and cough to stopping on a cross country run in devon when it was lashing down and my thighs were slapping together and freezing with every step and swamping myself with my golden body oil rather than whipping the old boy out (Probably because it will have been too short to locate at that point).
  4. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Dazmart, do you have urophilia ?
    Out of your present thirty-seven posts,fully thirty-five of them are on the subject of swamping.

    Indeed your profile would indicate such as all eight topics you've started are all to do with piss:

    dazmart's Last 10 Forum Topics:

    * The NAAFI Bar » Ever seriously considered wetting yourself?
    * The NAAFI Bar » Pissed on Your Parade!
    * The NAAFI Bar » How would you have dealt with these idiots?
    * The NAAFI Bar » Trooping the Colour etc (what happens if you need a wazz?!)
    * The NAAFI Bar » Needed a wazz so bad!
    * The NAAFI Bar » If a copper wanted to use your toilet...?
    * The NAAFI Bar » Accidents on Parade!!
    * The NAAFI Bar » An Embarrassing Mishap

    I can only imagine you do have a sexual problem as on Sun 25 May 08 you posted the same question here:

    What is it about men in uniform swamping that turns you on ?
    You really should consider joining the Forces, there's loads of blokes that'd love to meet you.

    On the other hand your url is surprisingly similar to that of a serial troll we've had here on many occasions making a complete cock of themselves.

    You're a sad little tosser and you've been sussed.
  5. He was literally taking the urine...

    coat on...
  6. :lol:

    I'd much sooner "Do a Radcliffe" and get it over with than do the "Jogger's Dilemma" where with each agonising step you take you become more and more desperate and then can't undo the necessary clothing in sufficient time, thus rendering all attempt to retain your dignity utterly futile.
  7. Ever seriously considered wetting yourself?

    urr..... no, not really
  8. Good Drills!
  9. Considered? I do it regularly. The sport of champions not to be wasted while doing phys or just because your cold, the Map of Africa should always be carried out in public and as prominently as possible. Sneakily letting it run down your inside leg is for cowards and shirtlifters, the correct drill is to stand upright hold your pinky up to the corner of your mouth Dr Evil style and announce loudly "One million dollars bwhahaha" then release. Extra points available if you remember to switch fire half way through and do a double legger.

    Other acceptable forms of swamping are to piss up someones leg whilst chatting to them and to squirt a bit into their drink when they leave it unattended.

    If you are out of juice stirring their pint with your cock is an acceptable alternative.
  10. Oasis developed a warm up track for this guy, Swamp Song!
  11. Yep. Northern Ireland AAC Groundcrew Pi55 Yer Pants tour 1993. It was a regular thing. In fact if you had a dry pair of jeans on you were ostracised. There was even a chap who had the gift of changing sides (as it were) without using his hands to keep both sides warm.