Ever heard of Nick Plimmer?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by ex_donkey_man, Nov 23, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Has anybody even heard of Nick Plimmer? I'm guessing he's a Nosey arsed Journalist who's sticks his fucking stupid nose in other peoples business.
    I'm only asking as the cocky twat actually sent me a personal message on facefuck asking me for info about someone getting married next year. (In public spotlight and same regt as me) I've not yet replied, but I haven't yet deceided on the best way to tell him to fuck himself really. I am now Ex and left before said actually joined, but is there no lengths that Juorno's won't stop to get some greedy gossip on someone when really their in a role to do a job?

    Any one else had stupid requests for info??? (I know it'll only be certain units they ask, but still, someone might know him and smack him in the chops for me, unless you point him out, I'll do it myself)
  2. er ... Nah
  3. Why not make up a story about homosexuality, a marriage of convenience, animal porn etc etc but tell him its strictly off the record?
  4. Why not make up a story about homosexuality, a marriage of convenience, animal porn etc etc but tell him its strictly off the record?

    You know the score.What happens in Colchester,stays in Colchester.
  5. Sounds like a good plan!
  6. Do you think I should add a bit him getting one the AGC (posted in) up the duff?
  7. I think the OP is talking about William, not Edward?
  8. A Royal story?

    Make up some filthy bollocks, charge him a fortune and act surprised when you finally figure out that he didn't want a story about Trooper Pete Royal, the groom.
  9. How you were sworn to secrecy about the lewd activities in camp and the drug taking. How his minders paid off his gambling debts and bar bills in the town when he refused to pay.
  10. Charge £500 and drop 29 April into his ear.

    He'll feel a right knothroat when, as we all know, this 'person' *cough: tap side of nose* turns out to be the RAF Mounted Cavalry Household Regiment-walting grandson of a Greek immigrant who really intends to live on a game reserve in Lesotho with his good friend Pablo, a mulatto, cross-dressing life style guru.
  11. Why not inform him of the terrible lack of experienced, bullying and cockeyed lance jacks in the sandpit, due to stabbings? It worked for Aunty last night. Perhaps it will work for you?

    Good Luck!
  12. Ask him how much he's willing to pay you for your gen
  13. There - fixed that for you.
  14. Don't forget the bit about the gimp mask made from Maddie's surprised-looking face.

    Edit; take a 10-figure grid reference centred on your worst enemy's back yard, and pass this on to the grief-ghoul with a veiled reference to a 'shallow grave'

    Then sit back and enjoy the hysteria.
  15. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Just tell the journo you'll meet but it will have to be somewhere you can stand as your hoop is still stinging after last reunion event.