Ever had a brush with death?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Chimpy, Apr 17, 2007.

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  1. I have. A few years ago me and my mates, Stevey G, Benno and Fat Boy decided to try and make home made Napalm. How you make it (according to the Jolly Roger) is by putting 1 part soap and 1 part petrol in a biscuit tin and heating the tin over a naked flame until both parts mix perfectly. Anyway, as I was heating my tin of soapy petrol it suddenly burst into flames and some of the sticky substance got on me and I was on fire. I sh1t me pants and ran down the stairs on fire (we were in a hay barn) and jumped in me mum's pond. I look up and see Stevey G, Benno and Fat Boy are running around flapping in the barn trying to put the fire out. But to no avail. I shout to the iidiots to get out the barn but it's too late. They become trapped upstairs and have no choice but to jump out the window. Benno breaks his arm, Stevey breaks his knee and Fat Boy lands face first and knocks himself out (later though he was ok). We sit in a row outside me dad's barn and watch the fire engulf it clinging to our wounds. My arm and right side of my body are badly burnt and my Fred Perry jumper is ruined. After about 20 minutes the barn is totally destroyed and the fire starts to spread into the field. At this point Stevey suggest someone phone the fire brigade. After argueing for a bit about who should phone me Dad turns up in his Jeep and starts panicing. He phones the Firemen and they arrive in minutes and put it out.

    I'm lucky to be alive as napalm is very dangerous and after that escapade I apreciate life so much more.
     
  2. and then the dream ended.......and mummy woke me up. :twisted:
     
  3. I love the smell of Hay Barns in the morning.
     
  4. Yeh Chimpy Ive had a brush with death - happened this morning after reading some of your posts - was very close to slashing my wrists you TW@T.

    Come on own up, who are you???????????????????????
     
  5. .........by lowering her gaping clout onto my mouth.
     
  6. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I've not had a brush with death exactly, but I have had a fondle - boy was his bone HARD!!
     
  7. A brush with death? Must have been the Grim Sweeper.
     
  8. Not exactly a brush with death more of a scrub with Pestilence.
     
  9. chimpy, why doncha foad mate, funny how you joined about the same time ARRSE got public, wonder if your a student taking the piss ? Nah shurely not
     
  10. Did the flames go up in a FLASH?????
     
  11. A FLASHY retort.
     
  12. Soap flakes dissolve in petrol anyway - if you'd actually made napalm, you'd know that... :roll:
     
  13. this all a bit Molly Weird.... work that one out!
     
  14. Who do we think "chimpy" is?

    I'm thinking possibly ...

    1. Flash*
    2. CRmeansCeilingReached
    3. G2_Loony_Bin
    4. MDN

    * = most likely candidate...

    Any others?
     
  15. I wouldn't want to advertise it.