Ever had a brush with death?

#1
I have. A few years ago me and my mates, Stevey G, Benno and Fat Boy decided to try and make home made Napalm. How you make it (according to the Jolly Roger) is by putting 1 part soap and 1 part petrol in a biscuit tin and heating the tin over a naked flame until both parts mix perfectly. Anyway, as I was heating my tin of soapy petrol it suddenly burst into flames and some of the sticky substance got on me and I was on fire. I sh1t me pants and ran down the stairs on fire (we were in a hay barn) and jumped in me mum's pond. I look up and see Stevey G, Benno and Fat Boy are running around flapping in the barn trying to put the fire out. But to no avail. I shout to the iidiots to get out the barn but it's too late. They become trapped upstairs and have no choice but to jump out the window. Benno breaks his arm, Stevey breaks his knee and Fat Boy lands face first and knocks himself out (later though he was ok). We sit in a row outside me dad's barn and watch the fire engulf it clinging to our wounds. My arm and right side of my body are badly burnt and my Fred Perry jumper is ruined. After about 20 minutes the barn is totally destroyed and the fire starts to spread into the field. At this point Stevey suggest someone phone the fire brigade. After argueing for a bit about who should phone me Dad turns up in his Jeep and starts panicing. He phones the Firemen and they arrive in minutes and put it out.

I'm lucky to be alive as napalm is very dangerous and after that escapade I apreciate life so much more.
 
#4
Yeh Chimpy Ive had a brush with death - happened this morning after reading some of your posts - was very close to slashing my wrists you TW@T.

Come on own up, who are you???????????????????????
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
I've not had a brush with death exactly, but I have had a fondle - boy was his bone HARD!!
 
#9
chimpy, why doncha foad mate, funny how you joined about the same time ARRSE got public, wonder if your a student taking the piss ? Nah shurely not
 
#11
indoubitabley said:
Did the flames go up in a FLASH?????
A FLASHY retort.
 
#12
Soap flakes dissolve in petrol anyway - if you'd actually made napalm, you'd know that... :roll:
 
#14
Who do we think "chimpy" is?

I'm thinking possibly ...

1. Flash*
2. CRmeansCeilingReached
3. G2_Loony_Bin
4. MDN

* = most likely candidate...

Any others?
 
#17
Not since Molly kicked the bucket.
 
#18
I've had a brush with death. I said yes to "Does my bum look big in this?"

Also, while playing school rugby I had went on a trip to Wales and had a brush with Neath.

Do I win £10?
 
#19
Sorry speak up, I had a brush with deaf.
 

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