Ever felt death was upon you from d and v?

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by gobbyidiot, Aug 20, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Bloody hell. Last night 9pm I'm sitting down to eat, listening to the radio, suddenly thought, "Shit I'm falling asleep", tried to snap out of it and couldn't, gritted my teeth, tried to shake my head, felt like I was losing consciousness and as if somebody had opened a tap in my ankle and let the blood out. I only just managed to put the scoff down and I was on the floor, (I admit it) terrified, feeling worse than I've ever felt and pretty certain I was having a stroke or something equally serious. I lay there trying to get a grip for a minute or two and then hobbled through to the bog for a bout of the shits and a spew. Went to casualty and they checked me over and said it was probably diahorrea and vomiting from that virus - there had been other cases.

    Now, at the risk of seeming like a big girl's blouse, has anyone felt that bad that quickly from d + v? I honestly thought I was a goner! It was like someone flicking a switch - perfectly fine..... whimpering on the ground?
  2. Try making a chilli whilst p1ssed and not cooking the kidney beans properly. Chilli tasted good, however the beans contain a toxin that is destroyed by cooking, but only if you cook them thoroughly, I didn't, end result it opened the flood gates at both ends. Good way to lose a bit of weight in a hurry, couldn't eat for 2 days. :cry:
  3. This happened to me a couple of summers ago.

    Afternoon shopping in town. I was walking down the road feeling fine, slowly started sweating, one of those cold sweats. Next thing is tunnel vision with nice green and black walls to it.
    Within 20 seconds lieing on the ground propped up against the wall, people walking past looking at me as if I am p1ssed.

    Spew in the gutter, more people tutting and ignoring me.

    2 minutes later feel much better - stand up and carry on my way.

    Doc reckoned it was probably dehydration. ?

    Oh and no I hadn't been on the lash the night before - most odd and yes very scary.
  4. the winter vomitting bug is very deceptively named. It should be called
    "The Winter Lyinginthebathcryingwhileyoushitandvomitalloveryourselfbeggingfordeath bug"
  5. In Febuary I was pretty much the same, light headed and then on the point of collapsing having had a bout of the two bob bits. Lay down on the bed with the missus trying to get a grip and wondering why I was feeling so bad. After insisting that I was ok the missus made me go into A&E where I was told that my colon was bleeding and that I lost a fair bit of claret that had took the form of black sh*t. In the end it turned out that a couple of dogs that I had been looking after for a friend were also on deaths door and the doctor concluded that I had probably caught a virus off them (I had had a complete nightmare with them and got covered in blood one night when they started to tear shreds out of each other). Took me about 10 days to get back on my feet properly after that. Wasnt pretty and the missus will occasionally remind me of the mess that I had made of the big white telephone.
  6. If you want to experience the "Put me out of my fecking misery" try 8 days of sea sickness, with no escape
  7. You bastard, mopping tea out of the keyboard now! Nothing like a nice bit of norovirus to make you suddenly become religious, praying to any diety for a merciful end!
  8. Oh yes, squatted over a hole in the ground whilst balancing on two bricks so as not to put my hands in all the shite and piss at the showground in Nanyuki! Must have lost about a stone and half, fcuk I was ill!
  9. You big puff :D (It's easily avoidable by taking Stugeron)

    Top tip-never eat rice that hasn't been reheated correctly (in fact, never eat reheated rice). I had to strategically position myself so I could shit and vomit at the same time. Whilst at the ex's parents house. Nice. And then nearly soiled their car whilst being brought to hospital :(

    BTW, has anyone else suffered badly at the hands of Subway in recent months?
  10. Caught it on telic 3.Several days lying in pit wishing for death.
  11. Try balancing yourself over the upturned hull of an Iraqi motorboat, cunningly transformed into a 5-man shitter. Combine that with a dose of D&V, flies crawling into every orifice and being surrounded by the cries of 500+ blokes who are suffering the same fate. Alamarah, Telic 1 - It's for winners!
  12. Christ, I've had this, but only with a mates bathroom floor to lie on and suffer, I can't imagine how hellish it'd be on operations!
  13. I did not know that.

    I have made chilli with kidney beans and only really warmed them up.
    Luckily it was put in storage and microwaved but I'll make a note for future.
  14. A similar problem hit us on Op Corporate......running for the rocks in sub zero temperatures.

    A couple of kind souls at Goose Green let me use the toilet in the settlement store. The relief at being able to crap sitting down before having to spin round to puke.

    :( :( :( :( :(

  15. Kazaksthan last year I had it along with 50+ others never seen some many that ill.

    God I wanted to diw. But lost some weight anyway