Ever been RTU'd from an important course?

:)

the one on the left broke his ankle running away with the sign when he jumped over a foot high wall, with a two yard deep drop behind it...
Anyway, you got it back, didn't you?

No pleasing some people...
Once upon a time, in band camp ...
 

halloumikid

Old-Salt
EPC 1983. Day 1. Anyone got Colloquial German? I had Linguist. You're exempt Army in the Contemporary World.
Military Calculations. Anyone got a Maths qualification? A level. You don't need do the first two weeks. Go away. See you Monday Week 3. Lad next to me, also 12 Armd Wksp, Tiffy Maths. Same detail.

Week 3. Welcome back to Mil Calc. We're doing a Double entry bookkeeping (or something) exam mock. Three hours, Go. Half an hour later, instructor catches us playing Battleships cos we've done it and we're bored. Come back next Monday.

Exam day. Three hours. After half an hour I'd finished, Redone the entire paper neatly and without crossings out, checked it again. Walked out. An awful lot of heads turned. 100%.

EPC? Waste of my time. Oh and I think I was promoted Corporal on Day 1. The course was intended for senior corporal due promotion to sergeant.


Similar detail here. Did 2 subjects in Belize(!) and then 2 subjects in NI, to which I went to the Mil calcs passing in test and the exam. I missed a month in Fermanagh on the checkpoints as a bonus too!

Enjoyed my EFP2 even more. By then had a degree in politics and economics via the OU which I had started as a full screw. My RE pl comd of the time, failed to let the RAEC staff know this little gem, and was roundly castigated by the RAEC instructor in the Mess, as he was a little ‘underprepared’ when he strayed into my areas of interest.

Halloumikid
 
So, 1988 and 26 Engineer Regt holds it's annual JNCO Cadre at Vogelsang. Deep joy for all those who attended; its not in camp no muckers to fall back for spare kit, washing & ironing, etc. Steep hills make for long runs (although Iserlohn had it's share of them). And the barracks are shared with other units. 4 weeks of bullsh1t and beastings.

Tp Cmdr's inspection one morning, perhaps 10 days into the course. There's a floater in the toilet. Its is accepted that it's not a course turd, highly likely to from a "visitor" (the washroom was by the fire doors on the landing, adjacent to the next unit's accommodation. ). Not sure if Troopie was more upset by the turd's presence or the lack of a salute.

Either way, Cpl "Geordie" H informs us that if we have any further 'guests', we are to capture them, or else consider ourselves infiltrated and will spend the night in bashas.

That evening, ironing kit, there's a commotion in the corridor. Two or three other lads on the course are grappling with some obviously inebriated greasy haired, spotty-faced individual. "Get him to troop briefing room". I'm standing next to him, his arm lashes out and wraps itself round my neck. As he wont let go, it's off the to troop briefing room he's going.

He needed restraining whilst the DS were fetched. So wrists and ankles tied up (ever wondered why we have to have 30m of paracord? Now you know). And just to sure, we run a line between wrists and ankles. To be more sure, we run a line around his neck as well.

Perhaps putting a bag over his head was slightly overkill. Perhaps. But it did shut him up. Even when the Tp SSgt's dog started sniffing round him. Confirmed he was a sloppo though, dog wanted nothing to do with him.

Eventually he's let go, and off he staggers with dire warnings of retribution and how we will find out what goes in the beans. True to his word, the following morning a tray of perfectly good fried eggs are removed and replaced with a tray of smashed eggs, and the beans have a suspicious white substance in them (obviously egg white - the muppet had let it cook). Everyone takes it in good humour.

Until 3 days later SIB arrive to take statements*; the AO of the sloppo's Sqn had heard of the events, and threw a track.
4 (or 5?) of us, including me, immediately RTU'd. Had to wait for another year for another Cadre.

*This was the one and only time I ever experienced the RMP on our side. Knowing what we didn't, namely that we were in the brown stuff waaaay above our heads, they purposely borked the investigation. The act of hooding the guy was a breach of lord knows how many laws, let alone Queens Regs. Apparently a Courts Martial would have been the starting point...

A year later, I finally get charged. 08.00 I'm told I'm on OC's Orders at 10.00. "Sit in the Orderly Dogs office, and read your statement, its in this [very large] blue folder. Do NOT read any other statement". :D Of course I didn't, the howls of laughter were nothing to do with the statements in that folder. Oh no. No, I did not read a statement that read
"Was the chef being carried against his will?"
"No"
"Was the chef being carried in an untowards manner?"
"No"
"Do you understand the meaning of the word 'untowards'?"
"No"
"Interview suspended whilst Spr xxx consults a dictionary to determine the meaning of the word 'untowards'"

As for me? RTU'd, and a year later received an Admonishment. The Chef and Masterchef were both Court Martialled for interfering with the food...
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer

Donny

ADC
I did my EPC in similar circs. Despite excellent German I had no formal skills so did the lot., the mil calcs was easy. In those days you could do the 4 subjects individually. There was this Bdr who had been trying to pass mil calcs for years. In the end the redoubtable Capt JD (an Ed Corps LE for the RE) sat him on the same table as three of the high flyers and tipped a big wink, he still only just passed. JD fired my own interest in the Ed Corps and years later as a newly commissioned LE I worked with the now Lt col JD. Sadly, I learnt of his death last week from the Big C.
Thinks: did someone (who looked just like me 20 years ago) perjure himself by writing something strongly recommending you for that selection, while you were a Staffy in deepest West Wales?
 
Well since you asked....

My Force Reconnaissance platoon was attached to a MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit---basically an infantry battalion plussed up with assorted attachments for self-sustained deployment) and we were on exercise on an island in the Caribbean.

It was tough duty---my unit was separated from the rest of the larger group since we had to conduct diving and parachute ops and needed to have better water and DZ conditions that prevailed on the other side of the island (at least that is the reason we gave to the Colonel commanding all of us).

Conveniently, we were co-located with the SEAL Platoon (that used the same excuse to get away from the humdrum --the term "Mickey Mouse" comes to mind--routine of an encampment with all the HQ staff), and most important, the Seabee Det that of course had a mahoosive generator that gave us electricity for our makeshift pub (palm fronds on frame with CONEX box).

There we were, for 30 days on a Caribbean beach, working hard during the day so as not to feel too bad when the sun set and the bar opened. Our routine typically included a SCUBA foray at dusk using flares to spot the many langusta and fish that would provide a welcome change to Meals, Ready to Eat.

Well, as these things tend to go with a bunch of Type A's always seeking a challenge and more to the point, very easily bored, the lads came up with a plan to alleviate the "horrible" routine that I suppose set in after about a day in paradise. I should have realized something untoward was up as they suddenly took a great interest in doing nighttime training in the zodiacs, going out for several hours over the course of a few nights to "train."

Curiously, during one of these "training" forays, we heard an explosion in the distance emanating from the direction of the main camp, some 6 miles as the crow flies from our location. Immediately, the radio came to life, with a rather rattled radio operator telling all units to conduct a muster of all personnel which we dutifully did. As luck would have it, one of my teams and some of the SEALs was still out in the zodiacs and we could not raise them on the radio (radios in those days being notoriously unreliable).

Suffice it to say, eventually our guys returned, a bit more tight-lipped than usual but by this time I and the SEAL Det OIC knew better than to ask any questions. The next morning, all officers were summoned to HQ by the Colonel where we leanred the reason for the explosion. Apparently, the Colonel's personal privy (a rather elegant affair with a porcelain toilet) had mysteriously exploded--luckily he was not in it at the time.

Of course none of us knew anything about it but the suspicion settled on the attached contingent of combat engineers since they had been working with demolitions during the deployment. In spite of an investigation, the culprits were never found.

At a recent reunion of my unit, I learned the truth of what I had long suspected. The Marines and SEALs that went "training" that night made a stop at the munitions dump, infiltrated past the armed sentries, appropriated a 1/4 lb block of C4, continued in their zodiacs around the island, sneaked into the HQ compound and eliminated the privy. I am thankful they used a command-detonated fuse rather than a time fuse.

Vieques ?
 
On my Jncos cadre in 79. some cnut wrote FTA on the classroom blackboard before the first lesson one morning. I didn't even know what it meant then. Anyway, the WO2 ic of the cadre went ballistic when he walked in and saw it. I don't think the culprit ever owned up to it but we got beasted for days afterwards. If we'd found out who did we'd have probably given him a FGK but I suspect he would have been binned if the Sgt Major found out who was responsible...
Fun, Travel and Adventure, surely?
 

overopensights

ADC
Book Reviewer
Similar detail here. Did 2 subjects in Belize(!) and then 2 subjects in NI, to which I went to the Mil calcs passing in test and the exam. I missed a month in Fermanagh on the checkpoints as a bonus too!

Enjoyed my EFP2 even more. By then had a degree in politics and economics via the OU which I had started as a full screw. My RE pl comd of the time, failed to let the RAEC staff know this little gem, and was roundly castigated by the RAEC instructor in the Mess, as he was a little ‘underprepared’ when he strayed into my areas of interest.

Halloumikid
RE's are always Bolshi, so you were only being on form! but well done on your achievements!
 
[QUOTE="tiny_lewis, post: 9480191, member: 21581" some historical waffle[/QUOTE]

And guess which muppet is on PJNCO in two weeks, exactly 30 years after doing his JNCO Cadre re-take. Day 1 of the course is my 53rd bday.

I must be off my rocker :)
 

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