Ever been lost for words?

#1
We were walking through a town with the kids in tow, when some tranny appears walking (badly in high heels) towards us on the pavement.

When we are within two feet of "him" and in earshot my eldest (five) turns to me an says in a VERY loud voice whilst pointing "Why is that man in a dress?"

What the feck do you say?

E_C
 
#3
Evil_Calvin said:
We were walking through a town with the kids in tow, when some tranny appears walking (badly in high heels) towards us on the pavement.

When we are within two feet of "him" and in earshot my eldest (five) turns to me an says in a VERY loud voice whilst pointing "Why is that man in a dress?"

What the feck do you say?

E_C
"I have no idea son/daughter, there are many strange people in this world and if it wasn't for folk like this we would have no-one to take the piss out of, quick, find some rocks and throw them, biblical stoning stylee, at the poor creature"
 
#4
Evil_Calvin said:
We were walking through a town with the kids in tow, when some tranny appears walking (badly in high heels) towards us on the pavement.

When we are within two feet of "him" and in earshot my eldest (five) turns to me an says in a VERY loud voice whilst pointing "Why is that man in a dress?"

What the feck do you say?

E_C
Cheeky little bleeder keep him under control in future I nearly tripped up....
 
#5
I work in the railways these days, about 5 years ago I had to assist John Ferguson (the torretts bloke) on to the train to London for a tv slot.
As we went to his seat in 1st clas he starts to shout "NIGGERS!!....BLACK BASTARDS! "

(he shouts the things you would NEVER say,he doesn't really mean it)

Poor f ucker.
 
#7
vvaannmmaann said:
I feel the best joke in the world coming on.But I will only put it up if there is public demand.
Is this the one that was scientifically proven to be the the funniest joke in the world and turned out to be about as funny as catching your foreskin in your zip? If it is fcukin forget it, if not, go for it, could do with a laugh.
 
#10
vvaannmmaann said:
I feel the best joke in the world coming on.But I will only put it up if there is public demand.
What did the spastic say to his dog?






Down syndrome.
 
#11
I can imagine how that would be an awkward situation to explain.

Especially now Commachio's gone.
 
#12
I once heard 2 janner chav birds in the queue for The Two Trees pub in Plymouth arguing over who had been abused most by their boyfriends / exes / husbands etc. It wasn't just victimhood oneupmanship - they really got quite heated and one went on to play the rape card!
 
#13
supermatelot said:
I once heard 2 janner chav birds in the queue for The Two Trees pub in Plymouth arguing over who had been abused most by their boyfriends / exes / husbands etc. It wasn't just victimhood oneupmanship - they really got quite heated and one went on to play the rape card!
Did you offer the loser a chance to bag some last-minute bonus points in an attempt to sneak a victory?
 
#14
Remember coming home from school once and asking me dad what lezzers were. Fair play to him he didn't beat about the bush, so to say, he just told me straight what the score was.

A few days later I was with my Mam at safeways and I spotted a couple behind us at he checkout, two women wearing checky shirts and baggy jeans and sporting short spikey haircuts. 'HEY LOOK MAM, DYKES!!'

Apart from going bright red, she was speechless.
 
#18
Many times, a sticker for me though was at Harrogate Races, an Asian lad and his newish bird came as guests of a friend, within the hour they were at each others throats for god knows what, when asked what the problem was by a concerned security guard, I almost choked on my macaroon when my brother piped up and answered, 'no sex mate, well they cant can they, pakis ?' bless..
 

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