******* Etiquette…

#1
I thought I’d ask the educated masses for their opinions with regards to the etiquette involved with giving and receiving hoop dhobis.

I know there have been many a thread about the much sought after romantic pleasantry but in the throws of passion the other day and with a mouth full of bum a few things popped into my head… (whilst fearing a malteaser beeing popped too) :D

At what point in the relationship is it consider appropriate to start eating out arrse? By that I don’t mean jumping on them after they’ve finished their first course….. at least wait until dessert.

Does having your botty licked give the green light for anal?

Should you be concerned if your man starts to buck furiously and beg for more when you slide your tongue round his fritter…..

Is it ok to move back for a lingering kiss when you know your breath will smell like a cross between battered sheep colon and Bovril. :? :D
 
#2
a general rule of thumb is if you've kissed my ring, say good bye to a proper kiss. as a bloke, it shouldn't bee too rude to expect it from the moment of exchanging telephone numbers, women seem to wait a little longer. if she's happy to give, she should be happy to recieve?

Am I wrong??!??!??!
 
#3
Yes having your arrse licked is a green light for anal - As for the lingering kiss, go for it and if your not to sure stick an imperial mint in your mouth :wink:
 
#4
I'd say that if the fella bucked and asked for more that you were doing a pretty good job, and would therefore warrant a snogging, provided of course your tongue didn't have a tomato skin on the end and there wasn't a bead of butt must on the tip of your nose.

I'm not sure what stage its deemed appropriate to try and plate the forbidden trophy. Do it early on, let them think its the norm. Hazzarding a guess I'd say the devil on your shoulder would be urging you to quickly slide your tongue over the bot to gauge a reaction, subtly adjusting regularity and pressure applied. during the course of normal cunnilingus, if game, before you know it you are scoffing there breakfast.

Rules have to be applied... showering being the first... and a quick inspection of thier thong to check for skidmarks. :D

As for the green light to bum sex..... I'd say that after a steaming 69 followed by doggy, its fair to say that your hoop is gonna get stabbed....

Well it would if you came to castle dohnut :D
 
#5
Mighty_doh_nut said:
I'd say that if the fella bucked and asked for more that you were doing a pretty good job, and would therefore warrant a snogging, provided of course your tongue didn't have a tomato skin on the end and there wasn't a bead of butt must on the tip of your nose.

I'm not sure what stage its deemed appropriate to try and plate the forbidden trophy. Do it early on, let them think its the norm. Hazzarding a guess I'd say the devil on your shoulder would be urging you to quickly slide your tongue over the bot to gauge a reaction, subtly adjusting regularity and pressure applied. during the course of normal cunnilingus, if game, before you know it you are scoffing there breakfast.

Rules have to be applied... showering being the first... and a quick inspection of thier thing to check for skidmarks. :D

As for the green light to bum sex..... I'd say that after a steaming 69 followed my doggy, its fair to say that your hoop is gonna get stabbed....

Well it would if you came to castle dohnut :D
I am not going twos-up on anybodys Golden Retriever. :roll:
 
#6
And dont forget people, that the classic rimming apparatif is anise, or Pernod. Toast each others anal pleasure, throw back a generous measure, then get stuck in, it completely masks that everso-slightly unappetising aroma and tang of the gussett starfish.

Chin chin
 
#7
sandmanfez said:
And dont forget people, that the classic rimming apparatif is anise, or Pernod. Toast each others anal pleasure, throw back a generous measure, then get stuck in, it completely masks that everso-slightly unappetising aroma and tang of the gussett starfish.

Chin chin
Or for the more adventurous - Chilli Vodka :lol:

While locked in half nelson with a lady I always go for the difficult brown rather than the easy pink. Although I prefer to sprinkle the bungole with a sherbet dib dab first and munch the liquorice stick out bit by bit
 
#8
is this with a close lady friend, or just some mini skirted wearing tart who u have just picked up at the kekbab shop? if its the former then broach the subject gently. if its the latter then just take her up the wrong un any way, most likely tighter than her punani!
 
#9
I think that you should have the manners to stick your finger up there first before going for the personal touch of the tongue.

So just to recap...Finger....OK

Finger Thrusting.....ok

Tongue.....!
 
#10
if the big A is worth doing its worth doing dry.....that way there is no risk of eating poo......and insist on a BJ afterwards to get her poo from your love stick........that way you dont have to waste time in the bathroom as you are doing a swastika
 
#11
[/quote]
Or for the more adventurous - Chilli Vodka :lol:

While locked in half nelson with a lady I always go for the difficult brown rather than the easy pink. Although I prefer to sprinkle the bungole with a sherbet dib dab first and munch the liquorice stick out bit by bit[/quote]

What about space dust that crackles in the mouth so if you get a bit of sweetcorn in there by accident it would not be a major drama......
 
#13
Why would you want to lick someone's ar$ehole?
 
#14
poodpood said:
Why would you want to lick someone's ar$ehole?
Go home and get your Mrs to tongue your barking spider, then come back here and apologise for asking such a bone question.

Now then, I'm no German scat fetishist but a chicks botty is a marvellous thing... When your down there in tuna town just watch thier reaction when your tongue touches thier rust pipe.
 
#15
Whilst pleasuring a ginger RMP bird a long time ago, my lizard like tongue eventually crept around to her tea towel holder, to test the waters for a rear entry. Imagine my horror, apart from that Ginger smell (which I got used to), when what felt and tasted like a rancid dry roasted peanut stuck on the tip of my tongue!!! 8O Anyway! I decided to abandon the tomb raider approach as her spiders legs appeared to be wearing desert boots and decided to try a trip to her grand canyon sized blue veined custard sacks, where I left a hearty deposit of Supertrooper Tadpoles.

I must say it took me quite a few years to venuture from a birds bean purse to her chocolate kaleidoscope. My advice is before even considering this, you should give her crack a good scraping with a bog brush, followed by a CO's inspection of her chin rest :D
 
#16
Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especailly concerned with cleanliness to relax but then again the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden and for them douching may even be anti-erotic.

Anal penetration always requires a lubricant. However, avoid chemical additives - water-based lubricants are latex-compatible!
 
#17
I got over my hoop-dhobey fetish at an early age, when I used marmite to get my ring rasped by our beloved familly cat, Mr Boots.

The real cherry on the cake was watching it lick my brothers face soon afterwards... :D
 
#18
babyblue said:
Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especailly concerned with cleanliness to relax but then again the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden and for them douching may even be anti-erotic.

Anal penetration always requires a lubricant. However, avoid chemical additives - water-based lubricants are latex-compatible!
BB, perhaps you could provide a Dear Dedrie photocase book showing us how exactly this is done. I am sure you could assist in our poor education on this subject

:twisted:
 
#19
SuperTrooper said:
Whilst pleasuring a ginger RMP bird a long time ago, my lizard like tongue eventually crept around to her tea towel holder, to test the waters for a rear entry. Imagine my horror, apart from that Ginger smell (which I got used to), when what felt and tasted like a rancid dry roasted peanut stuck on the tip of my tongue!!! 8O Anyway! I decided to abandon the tomb raider approach as her spiders legs appeared to be wearing desert boots and decided to try a trip to her grand canyon sized blue veined custard sacks, where I left a hearty deposit of Supertrooper Tadpoles.

I must say it took me quite a few years to venuture from a birds bean purse to her chocolate kaleidoscope. My advice is before even considering this, you should give her crack a good scraping with a bog brush, followed by a CO's inspection of her chin rest :D
You... tongued... a... gwar.. birds.. starfish. 8O 8O 8O


You f*cking wretch !
 
#20
bernoulli said:
SuperTrooper said:
Whilst pleasuring a ginger RMP bird a long time ago, my lizard like tongue eventually crept around to her tea towel holder, to test the waters for a rear entry. Imagine my horror, apart from that Ginger smell (which I got used to), when what felt and tasted like a rancid dry roasted peanut stuck on the tip of my tongue!!! 8O Anyway! I decided to abandon the tomb raider approach as her spiders legs appeared to be wearing desert boots and decided to try a trip to her grand canyon sized blue veined custard sacks, where I left a hearty deposit of Supertrooper Tadpoles.

I must say it took me quite a few years to venuture from a birds bean purse to her chocolate kaleidoscope. My advice is before even considering this, you should give her crack a good scraping with a bog brush, followed by a CO's inspection of her chin rest :D
You... tongued... a... gwar.. birds.. starfish. 8O 8O 8O


You f*cking wretch !
It was a nice pink colour, I thought it was one of those pink love heart sweets

:lol:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
C The NAAFI Bar 3
OOMPALOOMPA Royal Signals 57

Similar threads


New Posts

Latest Threads

Top