Essential Equipment for the Falklands

Not true. If you genuinely have need of one you will be issued one.
It's quite a while since I was at MPA, but IIRC coat hangers were like single available women and much harder to barter for!
If posted to the Falklands, a single coathook won't bear the weight when you try to hang yourself.
I thought it was to hang his crown on?
It's because the rails have vanished from inside most of the wardrobes. Some residents have evidently tried to screw coathooks to the doors and walls but haven't been successful getting them to stay on - hardly surprising when they've used woodscrews in plasterboard.

Over-the-door coathooks are the way to go. That and those telescopic wardrobe rails.

Of course, the essential item is a mirror. There aren't many of those around and the silvering has come off those that are.
Surely they mean an extra 'CROOK shepherds for the use' of, for catching you roomy for the night.
I can shave without a mirror but keeping the testosterone-fuelled 'tache trimmed without one is just too risky.
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