Escape and Evade- Close Call

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Aug 31, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. So... there I am, at the Museum, doing some research for an upcoming trip to Egypt, when a bodacious babe enters the gallery where I'm sitting. she's got a sketch pad and a small case with her, so I figure her for an art student' on assignment ' or something. What caught my attention was the way her low cut top fit her like cling wrap.

    She stopped in front of an exhibit and began drawing. I figured I might see if I could take a peek at her accessories - er sketches - and casually strolled over. I realized I had 'violated' her personal space, despite my casual approach, when I saw she was eyeing the possible exits or looking for a patrolling 'rent-a-cop '.

    I figured I better the defuse the situation with some witty comment or placatory aside.

    Cue mouth before brain, as I channeled Jeff Daniels at his best " Dumb and Dumber " moment.
    ME: [ dumb ] " Nice Jugs "
    HER: " What?"
    ME: [ dumber] " Nice Jugs "
    HER:[ rising indigant ] " I Beg Your Pardon!?"
    ME:[ brain finally firing on all cylinders - pointing to display ]
    Amphorae, actually, Funerary tribute..Ptolemaic - 9th or 10th dynasty, If I'm not miskaten.
    HER: [ caught off guard ] Oh...
    ME: blabbing on about Alexander the Great, General Ptolemy, establishment of Dynasty..succession, Cleopatra..accuracy and skill of her drawings... etc. etc..



    Close Call averted. She actually gets interested, invites me for a coffee and a chance to see her ' etchings' ..

    Result..

    Anyone else narrowly escape potential embarrassment, wrath or jail from ' Foot in Mouth ' moment?
     
  2. Classic mate, take yesterday off! :-D
     
  3. Big Sue, " I got raped once by a bloke from New Zealand. "

    Me, " Did he put up much of a struggle? "

    And I still popped it.
     
  4. Amphorae pictures please... :D
     


  5. One word. Bollox. Who in their right fcuking mind would go to a museum, see some bird with"nice jugs" and then pretend to say it about a couple of pieces of pottery. A true male would have said "Nice t1ts" and then said the jugs were sh1te. :wink:
     
  6. Mmmm,
    Visiting a museum,researching a trip to Egypt? A babe in a museum? Quoting poor filmscripts?

    You are Benny Hill,and I claim my £5.
     
  7. I had sex in a museum once.
     
  8. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    Having sex with your mummy does not make it an egyptian experience, you know?













    Taxi? I think that deserves a bus...
     
  9. She was that old then.
     
  10. Not me but overheard at a VCP in MIddletown:-

    HIM: 'Hello madam do you take it in the mouth'? :D

    HER: 'I beg your pardon' 8O

    HIM: 'Sorry, have you just come from the south'? :p