Mebbe this is better placed in the Lonely Hearts but as I'm not after anything other than readership for my slighty-kinkier-than-average 800-odd word gland-to-hand-combat enhancement, I thought I'd post it here. I write porn. Won't win me the Nobel Prize for Literature, but enough who've read it say it's warmed them up nicely. Also I'm slightly pissed off as the one bloke who should have been *flattered* that I wrote some for him stuffed it in a pocket in his Bergan, and that'll probably only resurface whilst he's on Ex-something-or-other (no he's not the OH, just someone who inspires me to write). My questions are therefore these: want any personalised porn? Want examples? Happy to post if I can get away with the spell checker; if not will PM. Fate, the Muses and my own (twisted) sense of duty means that this humble imagination of mine seems best employed boosting the morale of Our Boys (and Girls ... I'm an equal opportunities fluff writer). That's it: over to youse.