Entertaining methods of execution

Having been suitably out-raged by several recent threads and amused by the story of the bloke in Miami who was chomped by a gator while running from the law I got thinking about amusing was of disposing of scum.
My idea; Place the condemned in a small-ish cell with no furniture what so ever. He is handed a grenade with the pin pulled but the lever still in place. In other words he can live as long as he can keep the lever in, if ne nods off he will certainly die.
Come on chaps, there must be some equally twisted ideas out there. Lets hear them.
Playing Ker-Plunk with someone's head using mine prodders. Lets not just limit it to criminals, always thought about doing it to the likes of Russel Brand.
Place a pedophile in an old shed. Grip his manhood in a vice on the bench and take away the lever for opening it and give him a blunt hacksaw blade. Then set the shed alight.
Place a pedophile in an old shed. Grip his manhood in a vice on the bench and take away the lever for opening it and give him a blunt hacksaw blade. Then set the shed alight.

Very mad max.........

Basically any of the "traps" in any of the Saw films.............
An old Roman trick - remove their eyelids!

They can't sleep, it drives them mad and then you can flay them alive, or cook them in a brazen bull.


Book Reviewer
Take a drug dealer/organised fcuktard criminal, an empty room, a bench, some straps, 200 condoms filled with caustic powder and get to work.
The Oubliette has a certain simple charm to it.

Little manpower required, low running costs, plausible deniabilty, prospect of becoming a tourist attraction in years to come.
Mr_Deputy said:
All those who commit nasty crimes and see honour on the streets / in their community and ego etc as all important should be beaten in public until they whimper. All those arrogant sods basically. The state and the law are bigger than these individuals and they should be shown that it is so.

Prime positions can be given to victims of crime and sold to the public. Funds raised should be given to victims of crime and to Police funds.
'Ill have 3 sharp stones and 2 bags of gravel please'
The Blood Eagle, an old Viking party trick: break his ribs and pull out his lungs to form the "wings".

We could turn it into a sport, in time for the 2012 Olympics. Points for technique and keeping the scumbag alive as long as possible... :twisted:
:lol: Use a ducking stool that was used to try witches, but dont lift the offender back up very often until it is time for you to go for a pint then,enjoy your ale. :lol:
Ive mentioned this before but no one seems to go for it. using one of those blenders that can blend marbles and coke cans, we blend criminals down whilst alive.


Book Reviewer
Insert a pingpong ball up their arrsehole, then sew it in place with lots and lots of thread. At the same time, tie a metal wire around their todger so that he can't pee.

Force feed him copious amounts of chilli and liquorice, washed down with lots and lots of water. Eventually, after suffering terrible cramps his bladder will rupture, and the backed-up waste matter will cause septecemia. Death will be painful...
Feed them to the pigs, feet first, via a slow decending release mech (pull em up to burn their stumps so as not to bleed to death too quickly and repeat)...!
"I'm a celebrity, get me out of this pogo stick minefield deathfest" has a certain ring to it.

Reading these replies, if you borrow any money from an ARRSEr, make sure you pay on time!

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