Entertaing Pikeys

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ciggie, Aug 18, 2010.

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  1. Recently some pikeys have moved in near me. Their late-night antics have kept me fascinated all night long, night after night. We all understand that money doesn't derive from jobs, and that waking up at 0630 is just for poofs. I only do that as a liberal, who wouldn't derogate the gay community and I don't mind being driven to drink in order to sleep. The question is, I am planning a party for my new pikey friends, what do you suggest I should offer them?
     
  2. Something about 9mm in diameter?
     
  3. Free tax advice from HMRC - they love visits from them.
     
  4. Try some traditional British pastimes:-

    Hare coursing
    Bear baiting
    Dog fighting
    Marrying your 14 year old first cousin
    Bare knuckle boxing
    Competitive alcoholism
    Speed tarmac laying contests
     
  5. You mean his cock?
     
  6. Please bear in mind that I have discussed this with the local council. They liked my fireworks idea....until they saw the estimate from BAe
     
  7. Petrol... known to solve all problems!!!
     
  8. Sword-dancing...that could be fun......
     
  9. Apparently the little darlings have landed on the Green at Southwold: Bet the 2nd/3rd/4th home owners are loving that
     
  10. Surely some home-grown Islamic extremists could make an example of them?
     
  11. Show them the same hospitality that the French are showign their Roma brethren.
     
  12. My plan would involve buying beer for a local zoo keeper, then slip into their house via the broken back door when they are sleeping off their gyros, beware, the kids Shelby, Kylie and Bruno will be off school, rolling joints and playing X-box. Carry a clip board and an officious demeanour and they'll just ignore you. Then remove all the internal doors from their hinges. Retreat from the house carefully but release a hungry wolverine, hyena or komodo dragon before closing the back door.
     
  13. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    Park a Ford Transit near bye
    Put some empty boxes in the back
    Stick a camera on it and watch as the pikey F1 team strip it back to a shell in 5 minutes flat
    Watch as they dump the shell 5 foot from their vans and then claim they've never seen it before in my life guvnor

    Present film to police at a later date
     
  14. Are we talking 'travelling people', or just run of the mill low-life scum?
     
  15. There's a difference?