ARRSE is supported by the advertisements on it, so if you use an adblocker please consider helping us by starting an Ad-Free subscription.

English -vs- Scottish armies

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by oldflyboy, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. In the old days the English and Scottish armies used to fight by gathering their armies on top of the hills and at daybreak, they would run down the hillside into the deep gorge below to fight.

    One morning at dawn there was a fog (as thick as pea soup) and the two generals decided to refrain from fighting that day. Whilst the two armies were resting a voice, with a Scottish accent came from within the dense fog.

    "Any one Scotsman can beat any 10 Englishmen".

    With this, the English general sent down 10 of his soldiers. There was a hell of a fight and NO ONE returned. An hour later, the same voice was heard.

    "Any one Scotsman can beat any 50 Englishman".

    With this, the English general sent down 50 of his soldiers. The same thing, a terrible fight ensured and again NO ONE returned. An hour later the same voice.

    "Any one Scotsman can beat any 100 Englishman".

    Same same, down went 100 of the best. NO ONE returned. An hour later.

    "Any one Scotsman can beat any 1,000 Englishman".

    By this time, the English general had enough and was about to send down his elite soldiers, when he saw a lone Englishman crawling up the hill. He was battered to a pulp. As he reached his general he said, "Don't send any more troops down, its a trap, THERE'S TWO OF THE BASTARDS".
  2. Not bad, but I heard that about 25 years ago, and it was a Welshman in the valley.
    Goes to show the old ones are the best!!