Englands revenge

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by brettarider, Jul 6, 2006.

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  1. Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark. Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian
    Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!

    The queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top speed would never get them there in time.

    At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached
    out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

    They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat long with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard a woman shouting ....... It was the Queen calling them to the

    On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup. But I see that the
    England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries."

    She knighted them and sailed away.

    As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!" "That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and knows everything about our country."

    "Well," Rooney replied, "she knows **** all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up ?"
  2. If you've got a joke try it out on your mates first. If they don't laugh then don't waste your time putting it on ARRSE and dedicating a whole thread to it. Now bore off please.
  3. I thought it was funny when I heard it twenty years ago
  4. OOOhhh touchy nose still red raw from crying into your England flag
  5. Doubt it, he's Jamaican.
  6. Jamaican and a cnut??