end of course pi*s ups

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sniffle-snaffle, Jul 20, 2005.

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  1. if this has been done before i apologise,just want to know if antone has any good ones about end of course pi*s ups

    when i attended a course a few years back in larkhill,i was on the course with a top bunch of blokes,anyway end of the seven weeks and the end of course pi*s up ensues,where else but sticky mats,anyhow end of the night come out of stickys and one of the lads tries to bite the windscreen wiper off of plods car,plod not amused so arrests the culprit much to the dismay of his course mates,all hell breaks loose and the next thing we know to plod vans are blocking either end of the road and half of the course are detained over night,and the vendas got trashed as well,anyhow the next day said culprits where back in time for end of course discussion,which was lucky as one of them was the SMS
  2. I will never forget the vodka and WKD fuelled night that marked the end of my NBC Officer's course. Apart from palling up with soime new chums, I had been reunited with a few old lags too including one who had managed to blag his way to WO2 (Well done Dixie!). The Chapel and that gothic vodka bar stick in my mind along with some other bog-standard boozers. Did I really tell that frog-woman thing that I lusted after her breasts but she needn't bother bring "the rest of her chitterlins along"? Yes, I'm afraid I did.

    Oh my lord! I was a sparkling, debonair kind of soul that night indeed...twenty orange and blue alco-pops bring out the David Niven in me obviously, though I suspect that David Niven didn't insist on buying industrial quantities of southern-fried chicken for Errol Flynn, Robert Newton and John Barrymore after a night out in Malibu - despite their protestation s that they didn't "fcuking want any Cuddles".

    My syndicate was the first up to give our death by powerpoint exercise in the morning. As we had all trooped home in the same pantechnicon taxi at 0-0-ungodly hours, it was remarkable that not only did we survive but gave a blinding performance...I had to pause half way through to prevent my spewing on the Commandant but he seemed to think I was pausing for effect and gave us all hearty well dones. I was just worried that he might be able to smell me from ten yards away - oh and if anyone doubts that I could have vomited on him from ten yards then anytime china, anytime. I had a long sleep in my car on the way home...luckily in a lay-by just past the old back door to the Mortars Wing at Netheravon...followed by three giant bottles of Evian.
  3. I remember being carried back to my pit by what seemed like half of the platoon, waking up an hour late doing two hours of drill whilst still drunk then doing a Map & Compass TP and suffering from mental block. The DS was very understanding and said he was sure I knew it perfectly well and passed me with an Average. Good chap.
  4. should have locked you up, no wonder the army gets a bad name, pissheads!!
  5. Get to love Stickys.... what a fcuking a dump. Don't forget to wipe your feet on the way out lol.
    2 weeks before my class 1 p155 up one of the guys said he had pulled some nurse, got her into bed but nothing happened. We ripped it out of him saying he couldn't get it up. He though that was the end of it. I had organised the p155 up at a certain pub just outside Kitchener Bks, Chatham, on the waterfront. The strippers the owner had organised were nothing short of whores. We chipped a bit of extra cash at the end for a bit extra and I briefed the girls up. They got the bloke who pulled the nurse, up in front of everybody (my course and a class 2 course who were finishing at the same time), pulled down his trousers and started sucking him off. He couldn't get it up, stage fright probably. Cue the most savage amount of incoming ever!
  6. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    DC Sigs Larkhill 90 or 91 methinks, came back to find Ian asleep on the urinal in which he had shat, peed himself and puked down his front.
  7. at the end of my combat infantrymans course as a stab i might add.
    me and my section had a good p1ss up round richmond ending up in louis bar a nice short walk from the camp and comparing drill with the gaurds recruits who would march smartly up to the guardhouse and present id. But i digress i got in about 3.00 hours in a "confused state" we may say i went to sleep only to be rudley awoken by my crotch suddenley warming up in the catterick winter realising my misfortune i got a spare pair of skiddies and run to the bog and changed them but what to do about the lemon stained bedding??
    well one lad off our course got leave to finish early on the thursday for a job interveiw and he had stacked his bedding ready to be collected with the rest of his "loyal" section you guessed it i did a bedding change at 0430 am still pissed and never got rumbled if you see this sorry chris :oops:
  8. I remember a couple of guys who went on a Basket Weaving Course (A drying out course for alcoholics). At the end of the course they had an end of course p!ss up. Quite funny that. LOL

  9. On Ressettlement on the last night,Which was my last one in the army as i went on terminal leave the next day i made the stupid mistake of trying to drive home.

    To cut the story short, 1x trashed brand new motor, 1x nite in nick followed by court the next day {fasttrack} 18 months disq and a £300 fine to pay for the lamppost i'd trashed.

    Not only that i had to pay to get my trashed car back from the police station to where i lived £150, And because i was p****d my insurance wouldn't pay a penny for the new car i'd trashed.

    All in all, Not a cheap night on the pi*s, Oh i then had to phone my new Civi employer to tell him i was going to be a little bit late for work on my first day,And that i wouldn't be driving in :(
  10. 1994 - end of JMQC.

    End of course piss up rule - only bring one bottle

    having just come over from Germany, x1 3 ltr bottle of Asbac Brandy.

    I can remember one lad sprinting around the block in No 15 Tropical Order (flip-flops, bungee cord x1, mess tin small x1) Well done Pasty!!!!

    Our course was held back until well after lunch - just to allow us 'safely' on the road home
  11. I got bit by a shark at the end of course imbibe following my class 1, dangerous place Blandford! Twas in Tiffany's top Italian dance school, glass door 1 Hallveg 0, also lost two tendons in my hand and the use of 2 of my fingers, someone spiked my kaliber shandy :oops: .
  12. After I left, my new civvy employer sent me on a training course to Sarfend. Being tightwads, we were accommodated in a series of B and B's with a cash advance to pay at the end of the week. Dropped my wedge into a bottom drawer on arrival and thought nothing more of it. Course went ok, bit of a piss up at the end but nothing too traumatic. Wending my way back to the B n B i was accosted by a bouncer outside a club who I'd served with so free entry, on the serious lash with him,got absolutely monged. Woken up the next day by landlady banging on the door saying I was late for end of course. Somehow got dressed, showered ( probably in that order) and went to get the wedge to pay the old bat. .......

    The stench of pis* from the tenners I had to iron dry has never quite left me :oops:
  13. End of class 1 course p*ss up started in the Union Jack with one of the lads "doing the greyhound" at 10 in the morning and declined rapidly downhill from there. Suffice to say Covent Garden looked like the floor of a taxi by midnight.

    Oh to be 26 again. lol.
  14. Not my end of course piss up but a bunch of handbag faggots on their B1 at 8 Sigs. Anyway, me and a couple of posters on here were invited and found ourselves in the Town Hall Pub in Richmond (top left of the Market Place - big white thing). The all too expected scrap started and I found myself knocking shy*te out of a 216 handbag gimp who REALLY believed he was 'Da Man'. Right in the middle of the ruck was Leon Brittain who was the MP for Richmond. He was in a big mad fisherman’s type jumper enjoying a half of best. As the mayhem continued, me, Leon and the faggot handbag all went flying over a table - glasses and ashtrays everywhere.

    When the dust settled I apologised to Leon. He was really good about it and mumbled something about squaddies letting their hair down. Nothing else was said and we all trudged off to other pubs………..

    Happy days

    (BTW - The Guru was trembling in the corner all the way through the punch-up)
  15. Class! Having said that, the Tories behind closed doors would make a squaddies p*ss up look like an episode of the telly tubbies. Probably.