Emergancy Report for all those Arrsers suffering

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Robbeaus, Mar 6, 2013.

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  1. Undiagnosed Dementia Leads To Daily Mail, Say Experts

    RISING numbers of undiagnosed dementia sufferers has led to the Daily Mail, new research suggests.

    Makes more sense if you read it upside down

    The Alzheimer's Society claims it has established a link between the Daily Mail and a massive rise in the number of people who look normal but are clinically out of their tree.

    It is recommending that if doctors suspect mental illness or dementia their first question should always be: "Do you read the Daily Mail?"

    Report author Julian Cook added: "It is a highly sophisticated product that knows its market inside out – it is written by the insane, for the insane."

    Daily Mail reader, Bill McKay, said: "Now where did I put my copy of the Daily Mail? I suppose some Bulgarian gypsy woman has thieved it.

    "The thing about this country, right, is that it's run by Muslim celebrities and their boyfriends at the Co-op.

    "Cameron's not much better, what with all his Notting Hill pig-sex orgies. Peter Hitchens should challenge him to a bare-knuckle boxing match in the nude so we can all see who has the tightest thigh muscles."

    He added: "The Bishop of Rochester is right – you really can't tell that Natasha Kaplinsky is pregnant."

    Undiagnosed Dementia Leads To Daily Mail, Say Experts
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    Hi Pot,

    Are you calling the kettle black?

  3. What, in the name of Satan and all his little Goblins, are you fucking on about this time?

    If your competing to develop the worlds first 'random bollocks generator' i think your in with a chance.
  4. You are a deluded fool.
  5. I read the daily mail, I think, I can't quite remember.
    Which paper were you talking about? I can't remember.

    I like boobies
  6. Well done to Robbeaus for finding the Daily Mash fuck knows how many years after the rest of us did.

    The myths shotgunning imbecile probably thought it was a gen story.
  7. Robbeaus is obviously mainlining Toilet Duck if he thinks a five year old Daily Mash article is news.
  8. Cunt.
    • Like Like x 3
  9. I quite like the online version of the Mail. The Express is a nightmare, trying to navigate around their site. The main problem with the Mail is the IQ of the mongs who comment there. 45 would appear to be the average.
  10. Higher than ARRSE then. :wink:
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Ah the first Daily Mail reader strikes out, but wibbles when confronted with sentence structure.
  12. And another
  13. And a third