I have two younger brothers. One, who is three years younger than me, is a schoolteacher, the second, who is sixteen years younger than me is a Doctor in the process of joining the Navy. Both are nice guys and are, like me, on the big and strong side. In fact the younger one has rowed for GB and Wales and is something of a fitness monster. It's the schoolteacher who worries me though. Normally a mild mannered man, when p1ssed he becomes extraordinarily aggressive. At a recent 'Klaus Barbie' chez chickenpunk, my cousin brought her boyfriend along. He turned out to be a somewhat cocky Afrikaaner, heavily into deriding the sporting prowess of British teams. Over the course of a long hot afternoon, schoolteacher bro got stuck into a considerable quantity of the red infuriator and by about 4.00pm, the red mist descended over his eyes, and he was ready for action. There was a flurry of activity in the garden and I went out to discover that my brother was holding the Jaapie by the throat and pushing the back of his head into one of Mrs chickenpunk's 'pride and joys', a small pond which she had dug and set up herself just after I broke my shoulder. I gently disengaged him and he stood up, saying something along the lines of 'Great, you're here, I've told this cnut that you'll fill him in...' and he then went off to refresh his wine glass. This was followed, a few minutes later, by him stalking up to my cousin, who was now crying and being comforted by mrs cp, and informing her that 'Me and my brothers are going to give that fcuking Voortrekker a right good shoeing'. Obviously, this cheered her up greatly. The annoying thing for me in all of this was that despite him being the p1ssed aggressive one, he was actually expecting me to do the duffing up on his behalf (I'd been burning the chicken and sausages all afternoon so wasn't anything like as far gone). Is this a new medical condition: 'wifebeater syndrome by proxy'?