Embarassing Dressing Moment

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Murielson, Jun 9, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Bugger, how embarassing!!

    Went for first fumble to the urinal this morning and got the unpleasant surprise that someone had stolen the 'fly' from my boxers. After a good rummage it became apparent that they had also placed said fly in my arrse region instead.

    How on earth do I now continue to tell the young Murielson that she will look silly if she doesn't dress herself correctly in the knowledge that Daddy has walked around work this morning with his grollies on back to front?

    Wouldn't have been so bad if I had emptied several local drinking establishments of their contents last night but it didn't happen.

    Similar embarassing dressing moments?
  2. Sign of age old chap. Recently sufferred a severe case of "Side Gusset" myself due to legs through waist and one leg hole resulting in strangely uncomfortable waist and loose left knicker leg. I console myself with the fact that I had been absolutely squealing drunk the night before.
  3. Did exactly the same thing about two days ago, realised at half eleven at night when i took them off - still can't work out why I didn't notice earlier.
  4. i once made the dreadful faux pas of wearing white knickers with a black bra ..... imagine my embarrasment in casualty as they tried to remove the rolling pin from my anus that i'd fallen on several times earlier that day....
  5. Was that half eleven last night? Dirty minger.
  6. Yeah, surely everyone wears their boxers for two days at a time?
  7. I told you before, Don't call me Shirley
  8. Limited to just 2 days usage - the reverse method is day 2 of a 4 day cycle - you still have to turn them inside out!

    The Environmental types keep telling me to save water, detergent etc. so at least I am doing my part to save the planet!
  9. Dressing for work (which involved BIG brief to two-star) in darkened dressing room after BIG drinkies. Gradually as morning wears on realise suit jacket and suit pants not in total harmony. Grey pin stripe jacket and blue pin stripe kecks just not the look career minded Majors are wearing that year. Luckily MB heating goes epileptic on already very hot day and get away with shirt-sleeves for brief...Very strange look from randomly encountered Vice Chief in lift at going home time - smile politely and then run for it before he can muster up generalish spunk to query dress of nice young staff officer who is obviously in tearing hurry!!
  10. walk into bog

    unzip fly...............pull out todger..........release bladder

    left leg warm? strange.........look down, see that I'm holding right boll*ck and todger is unloading down leg.

    bugger. :evil:
  11. Do not wear light coloured linen trousers to erotic dance club. :oops: :oops: :oops:
  12. Bad old days, drive FSC to Golden Beach Cyprus. Hopefully watch some clacker with snorks out.

    This day we got more than we bargained for. A slightly more mature lady decided that she will slip into her two piece whilst wrapped in her towel.

    Much fumbling and the towel is slipped down to reveal a nice pair of slightly saggy snorks in a bikini top, OK.

    The fumbling now continues with the nether regions.

    The towel drops to reveal a complete beaver road kill of very advanced age. SADDLE BAGS and BLANKET.

    The old dear had put two legs through one leg of the bikini!!!!!
  13. Day 1 at Sandhurst. Turn up in your civi's and get issued the superb Red Sandhurst Tracksuit. Told to get changed in the room with everyone else.

    Turns out I was a little absent minded that morning and had my skids on inside out.
  14. Sounds a bit similar to the evening that Mrs Dees and I were driving down to a Mess summer ball. She started fidgeting soon after we departed, and about half an hour later, discovered that in the usual hurry to get ready / get the little Dees settled with their babysitter, she had put her thong on the wrong way 'round.

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Did wonders for my libido as she struggled to hitch up her ball gown on the front seat to resolve the issue. Not to mention that of the truck drivers we were passing on the M1 at the time.

    Of course, several beers later, happened to mention Mrs Dees predicament to a small gaggle of mess members, who then couldn't resist recounting the tale further until it made Part 2 orders the following week. (Mind you, not as funny as another mess member who was happily telling the other wives about his wife's Rampant Rabbit habit - that one reached Part 1 orders)

  15. I once wanted to have the all over tan. No tan lines that year for me.

    Not enough sunscreen on my delicate bum so it burned! :oops:

    Lesson learned. Always wear the bikini bottom no matter if you have it on the right way or not!!! :wink: