Elmpt WO's & Sgt's Mess

Has the mess been remorgaged?...Has another RSM left us on commission claiming an extortionate leaving presentation?...Does Col Melchet's charity fund his speech writer?...So why is the monthly mess bill larger than the national debt of a small African nation? Answers at the next mess meeting please....but without the coughing  :mad:


I'd love to be there...but I can't afford it!


Nice din-dins last Saturday!  A Few points to note, though:

1.  Had the RSM been watching "John Fashnu's Meditation for Beginners" Video? (Ummmmm,  Errrrrrrr, Ummmmm [focus, Neil, focus!]).

2.  Can the piper play the bagpipes if they're up his arse, 'cos if he insists on standing next to me again at the next dinner then he will be!!!

3.   Will the waiters be taking extra juggling lessons?  Mind you, from where I was sat, it looked like an AGC mess kit that took the brunt of the starter, so no loss there, then!

4.  Was the short fat guy on the top table :

    a.   A Train Guard?
    b.   A commissionaire from the Odeon cinema?
    c.   Lord Farqaar (from Shrek)?
    d.   Originally planned for the main course, but they  had no apple?
Totally in agreement about the piper....kept interupting my toplevel shagging....next time mate...play something with a bit of a beat :-[....and something that ends with a crescendo!!! ;D


Did this top level activity take place on, at or under the table? ;D

BTW, I don't think the piper knows any piece that lasts for just 5 seconds :-[
The activity took place on and under every conceivable object available to me at the time...including the fish tank (which was handy for ablutions afterwards) ;)

And I must point out that any 5 second limitation does allow me time to thank the receipient, ask her name  and spark up a post coital cigarette  8)


So that awful noise coming from behind me might not have been the piper??
Have you considered that it might have been the whining of low band WO1's?


I sit too far away from them, so unless they moan really loudly then I can't hear them.  (And before anyone starts, I mean the WO1's!)
I believe u cannot sit far enough away from them and their boring droll  ;)


Maybe I can sit on the patio next time - God knows, I'm near enough to it anyway!
And here was me thinking I was Mr 'Vice' 8)


There's 2 kinds of Mr Vice, and you're definitely the second one!!!!!


WFB & Godfrey, do you 2 actually talk to one another in the mess or would that require an element of social interaction.

And are we to assume that WFB is an active member of the mess committee, using some of that constructive energy?? Maybe organising one of his "Steak and Cheese" n Whine parties.
(see www.wibblefishbanana.co.uk)

There used to be a basic rule requiring integrity - remember the one about keeping things "in the Mess". Its no wonder the Ossifers are taking over.
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
julias-limbani REME 7
E Royal Signals 39
R The Other Half 10

Latest Threads