Elizabeth Cross

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by POGscribbler, Jul 15, 2011.

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  1. Just a quick post folks, on radio 2 they are about to talk about the mother of one of our guys lost in Afghanistan and wants to be officially entitled to wear an Elizabeth Cross as well as the next of Kin.

    I have no problem with that.

    Any thoughts?


    PocketComms - Language First Aid at your Fingertips
  2. If she wants to wear one, there's nothing to stop her buying a replica.
  3. napier

    napier LE Moderator Reviewer

    If her son was married the wife gets the cross, if he's unmarried the mother/father gets it. Just like medals, there can only be one recipient. It's sad, but once her son was married, she was no longer his 'owner'.
  4. One of the biggest issues with bereaved families, its raised at all of the SSAFA Bereaved Families Support Group (BFSG) general meetings, and there was 200+ at our last one. There's not even any dispensation to award a medal to serving parents who are not listed as NOK (in my case not serving for long as I'm about to be Med Discharged). In our case the medal went to the ex wife who had it presented to their son and we weren't even invited to the ceremony nor to the Arboretum when his name went up on that beautiful but very sad monument.

    As bereaved parents ourselves we have written to the boss (HM the Q) and were told its got nowt to do with us lad, try the MoD. We then wrote to the AG and he basically told us that the MoD sponsor SSAFA BFSG, you can get a paper scroll and that's yer lot pal.

    In a nutshell parents feel as though their loss is not worth anything as the system can only respond to NOK and no-one with any authority can be bothered to either look at the reasons behind their dissatisfaction or look for a compromise.

    As far as I can see, the cost of a second medal for the parents that request one would be minimal, even negligible and there would be no reason to present it at anything other than by a local dignitary or snr offr.

    And I am aware that larger family dynamics post bereavement can muddy the waters somewhat.
  5. who is going to say anything if they wear a replica?

    i know i wouldnt
  6. Precisely why not to get involved. One death, one medal.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. I think it is fair that someone who's daughter or son has died in conflict should have some sort of way of being proud of that commitment and loss. what would you suggest as an alternative? there are some very proud and grieving mums and dads out there.


    PocketComms - Language First Aid at your Fingertips
  8. What would you suggest? They gave a child; what piece of bling could possibly compensate for that?
    • Like Like x 1
  9. its like the last few posts have hinted at, where would you stop issuing?

    some tenatious family link? one medal makes sense. other family members can easily purchase a replica.

    There will never be a solution that solves everyones issues but at least everyone knows exactly where they stand here! as ive said who would critisise a family member for purchasing a replica

  10. I know this sounds a bit w*nky and all american and all that, but surely a public and official recognition from a grateful nation is preferable to someone going to ebay and buying a copy to commemorate their sons or daughters life. I think that this respectful Elizabeth Cross scheme should be extended to Mums and Dads.


    PocketComms - Language First Aid at your Fingertips
  11. then brothers and sisters will feel hard done by, then sons and daughters, then causins and aunts and uncles!

    will step parents count that raised them all their lives?

    it just gets so so messy and its already a terrible situation! like i said there willl never be a perfect clean cut solution
    • Like Like x 2
  12. I would!

    As has been stated, one death one medal. NOK is clear. If married, it is the wife. If not, it is whoever he nominated as his NOK. In theory, my NOK could wear my full rack of medals on the right at appropriate occasions should I be deceased, that doesnt mean I should get 25 sets made up so that every body vaguely related to me can walt about at their leisure.

    Sounds harsh, I know. But thats the way I see it.
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Well you say that, but they could always bin the Elizabeth Cross altogether. (Not what I'd like to see happen, but the debate surrounding entitlements is starting to sound like the QGJM/QDJM all over again.)
  14. I disagree.

    Sorry if it sounds harsh, but the rules is the rules! At the award of every medal there is always a section of 'nearly rans' who fail to qualify and think they're being hard done by. I'm certain that this is not a matter of cost - it is a matter of value. One death = one medal. With the strange and complicated families many of our folk come from, Her Majesty would do nothing but sign scrolls - I have a soldier who has at least 6 'parents', do you suggest they all should get one, if, God forbid anything happens to him?