Element: Woman

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by oldsoldier2411, Sep 13, 2010.

  1. Element: Woman
    Symbol: Wo
    Discoverer: Adam
    Atomic Mass: Accepted as 50 Kg, but varies from 45 Kg to 250 Kg


    PHYSICAL PROPERTIES.

    1.- Surface usually lined with painted film (in the order of 0-6m to 0-3m).
    2.- Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
    3.- Melts if given special treatment.
    4.- Bitter if used incorrectly.
    5.- Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
    6.- Yields to pressure applied at the correct points.

    CHEMICAL PROPERTIES.

    1.- Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
    2.- Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances.
    3.- May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no reason.
    4.- Insoluble in liquids, but alcohol saturation increases activity.
    5.- Most powerful income-reducing agent known to man.

    COMMON USE.

    1.- Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
    2.- Can be a great aid to relaxation.
    4.- Useful for general cleaning, scrubbing, washing, rubbing, etc.

    TEST.

    1.- Pure specimen turns pink when discovered in the natural state.
    2.- Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.


    HAZARDS.

    1.- Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
    2.- Illegal to posses more than one.