Denmark is known for many things, blonde G-string wearing girls on bikes, Carlsberg beer, Mohammed cartoons, and a rather relaxed and free lifestyle. But what I didn't realise when I moved here was, that it also has the largest number of electric fences per head of population in the western world! I've 'found' them many times, usually around two in the morning (this seems to be the best time to find them). Shortly after I joined as a part time soldier over here, I was told the standard method of crossing such a fence (pushing the wire down with the butt of the rifle (G3) and then stepping over. Brilliant, thinks I, now I can safely cross the fences without toasting my nuts! T_T's first patrol, and oh, what's that? The LMG gunner is sick? T_T, you take over. No problem thinks I, so off we go. About an hour in, and we meet an electric fence. Ah! Thinks I, an opportunity to practice my fence crossing skills! Unfortunately, I'd forgotten that a fifty round belt conducts electricity quite well, and as I stepped gracefully over I managed to get a massive shock. I'm not sure what was the least tactical part of the situation, my shocked yelp, the suppressed giggles of the rest of the patrol, or the blue sparks. Lesson learned......beware the belt! One thing I forgot to mention, is that many of the fences are the so-called elephant fences, which seem to have enough power to knock down most species of big game. Personally I've never seen the vast herds of rampaging bull elephants which necessitated the installation of all these fences, so I suppose that must have been before I moved here. Another memorable occasion was whilst doing a night nav-ex in the South of Denmark. Nav-exes are a fantastic opportunity to find electric fences don't you know! Having been 'temporarily misplaced', I was now back on track. If I just crossed that flat piece of ground I could see on the map, I'd be home free. But no, after only 15-20 metres.....BZZZT! I shoot into the air trying not to scream too loudly, and probably failing miserably. So I pick myself up off the ground, and continue, thinking that I'm safe for a while now. But no, after only 15-20 metres, it's the same again. I've no idea what I was crossing but there was an electric fence every 15-20 metres for about 500 metres. The situation was hopeless, I knew that turning back would involve more pain, and the way forward was full of unknown dangers. I pressed on in a spirit of optimism, sure that each fence was the last. Towards the end, I was a whimpering wreck shuffling forward, vainly waving my rifle in front of me, in an attempt to find the fences before I got shocked. Obviously after this experience I developed an almost Pavlovian reaction to electric fences, I'd jump two feet into the air, do a somersault, and lie face down on the ground holding my nuts and groaning. I've since heard that electricians develop a tolerance to electricity, and can stand massive shocks, so I was wondering If I should buy a nine volt battery and practice shocking my testicles, so that I'll be better able to withstand those middle of the night meets with electric fences.