Edited

#2
7 months seems a bit... brief. Why not contact relate, SSAFA or the Padre for a bit of resolution first.

It could be something silly like she can´t adjust to living away from family and friends.

What is causing the agro? What agro is there?
 
#3
Dontdreamit said:
1. Been together 7 months

2. She is a civvy, working part time.

3. We have a PADs house in Germany

What is she entitled to under British and/or Military Law?

Has anyone been through this and can offer advice on avoiding the pitfalls/minefields.

Just can't take it anymore.
Speak to chocolate frog!

Seriously though, in most cases communication is the biggest cause of ALL relationship breakdowns, speak to your missus first.

However, for a full breakdown of the ins and outs, see Army Legal Aid in Bielefeld, as it is free. It is not free if you are stationed back in the mainland. Asking for full advice here is a bit like e-mailing a mechanic and saying 'my cars running funny whats wrong with it'.

That said, a few points,

1. You cannot legally divorce unless you have been married 1 year (you don't have to live together obviously!!!)
2. If you do split, inform your G1 chain ASP. They will advise you as to what happens next, who goes where etc.
3. Yours is a very short marriage, so we won't be hearing about a million pound settlement in the news.

Good luck.
 
#4
Grumpole said:
Dontdreamit said:
1. Been together 7 months

2. She is a civvy, working part time.

3. We have a PADs house in Germany

What is she entitled to under British and/or Military Law?

Has anyone been through this and can offer advice on avoiding the pitfalls/minefields.

Just can't take it anymore.
Speak to chocolate frog!

Seriously though, in most cases communication is the biggest cause of ALL relationship breakdowns, speak to your missus first.

However, for a full breakdown of the ins and outs, see Army Legal Aid in Bielefeld, as it is free. It is not free if you are stationed back in the mainland. Asking for full advice here is a bit like e-mailing a mechanic and saying 'my cars running funny whats wrong with it'.

That said, a few points,

1. You cannot legally divorce unless you have been married 1 year (you don't have to live together obviously!!!)
2. If you do split, inform your G1 chain ASP. They will advise you as to what happens next, who goes where etc.
3. Yours is a very short marriage, so we won't be hearing about a million pound settlement in the news.

Good luck.
I have enough dramas with my own ball and chain, the question were hypothetical. :D
 
#5
I was in your situation a few years ago but we got back together, unfortunatley. Anyway, at the time I had moved into the Mess and from that date we had 93 days 'grace' in which she could remain at the quarter. After 93 days she must move and will be served notice. Public funds will pay for her and her furniture removal back to the mainland. If you get back together after this any removal costs back to Germany etc. you will both pay.

Someone please correct me if the above info. is misleading in any way.

All in all, it is relatively straight forward for the squaddie in this situation other than the normal separation stress.
 
#6
If she claims she has no were else to go then she could be found a place in the dumped wifes club in Corsham , however not sure if they let single ( e.g no children) wifes in there
 
#7
OK, I've recently split from my wife of 12 years and can tell you what I experienced. My wife is a German national and was entitled to 2/5th's of my wage after maintenance if she had worked during the marriage or 3/5th's after maintenance if she had not (working on and off to a total of 4 years qualified as having not worked).
As things progressed I won custody of my children and her payments were reduced due to her now owing me maintenance for the children, so I no longer had to pay her those amounts, however, I still have to pay her a reduced amount. It's worth noting that if your wife is German and you married in Germany you will probably end up paying her the earth due to the German system being very wife biased.
If your wife is British or another nationality I honestly couldn't say as I haven't experienced it.

If you or anybody else is currently going through a split with a German wife, feel free to pm me for advice. I used ALA Bielefeld but sourced a lot of outside info during my custody battle and "wife payment fight"and am happy to pass on what I know.
 
#10
vma78 said:
dont quote me on this but if you're married less than 4 or 5 years she isnt entitled to any of your gratuity or pension????
Just give her half of everything, save yourself a sh1t load of solicitors bills and heartache and get on with your life. Speaking as someone who didn't follow the above advice. It cost me everything, house, kids, car and business and after two years not really back on my feet properly.
 
#12
She a boxhead? any brats involved? if its just a greedy boxhead with no kids then tell her to feck off and she's getting "Salmon and trout" Wont pretend i'm an expert, my ex missus was .... sigh . ... is german and wanted it all, but i was no longer serving so she ended up getting more in the long run.
Well if she's lining her majorca hand stitched purse just hope she comes a cropper mate, good luck.
Me? Bitter? whatever gave you that idea :twisted: :lol:
 
#13
#15
Dontdreamit said:
So she is entitled to :

93 days quarter
Her items to be removed to a UK mainland location of her choice at public expense?

And we cannot legally divorce until 12 months? That is interesting. Am researching it now.

OK. Cheers guys.
the 12 month thing can be sticky - looking at it myself n we were together for 18 months - according to all the paperwork i got adultery the quickest but if you or her go down route of not gelling or unreasonable behaviour the courts ask u for about 6 occurances - sort of stuff they looking for is if police were called to a domestic etc
 
#17
After being married for 12 months, the quickest way to get your divorce accepted by the courts is to admit adultery, as Sarge here mentioned. Admitting adultery could lead you to have to pay her a settlement for "hurt feelings" and other bullsh1t but if you don't even have kids together, this is the best way to get over with it as fast as you can. The time frame for this could be as little as 3 months, if she also wants to get out of the marriage without any hassle. If you get divorced in England, the court fees are £300 if you do the paperwork yourself (it isn't as complicated as it seems), if you hire a solicitor for this job then you're likely to pay them the hour, lets say £70-£100. But then it's done without any errors.
You haven't said the reasons of your break-up or if you have kids together, so it's hard to give a more accurate opinion. However, a quick divorce (on whatever ground) is only possible if both of you sit down, have a chat about the legal consecuences of it all and decide what to do as grown ups.
If she isn't keen to divorce you amicably, without claiming a hell of a lot from your pension, etc, etc, then you're fcuked mate.
So, adultery is the fastest way of getting divorced after a 12 months mariage. Anything else, with both of you consenting it, can be done after a 2 years legal separation. If there isn't consent, then you're looking at a 5 years period. You're likely to have to pay her mantainence during this period, should she claim it.
Your marriage is very short anyway but as someone else here said, if it starts getting nasty, give her half of everything and move on with your life.
Divorcing can be extremelly stressful for some people, but remember there is life afterwards. Good luck.
 
#19
BiscuitsAB said:
vma78 said:
dont quote me on this but if you're married less than 4 or 5 years she isnt entitled to any of your gratuity or pension????
Just give her half of everything, save yourself a sh1t load of solicitors bills and heartache and get on with your life. Speaking as someone who didn't follow the above advice. It cost me everything, house, kids, car and business and after two years not really back on my feet properly.
That includes half the bill for qtr cleaning too. BTW, she is NOT entitled to travel back at public expense from Germany, I was told that I would have to foot the bill, but lo and behold, a couple of weeks later, I got a posting order back to the UK, so got that sorted out and moved out a fortnight after the return to the motherland. the best thing is to get the F Offr/AO?whoever involved and take their advice as they would have seen this kind of situation before. DON'T GIVE HER A THING, mate, 7 months is hardly a lifetime so she hasn't earned an easy ticket.
 
#20
That includes half the bill for qtr cleaning too.

ukl rules have changed with MHS - they do the handover as if it a march out - close friend was almost billed even tho his ex was still living there

spk to welfare off for most up to date SOPs
 

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