Ed Balls – what Bayonet?

I have just awoken from a dream that ranks alongside with my favourite Keira Knightley one, though for different reasons.

The essence of the dream is that I am slowly pushing what appears to be a 1907 pattern Bayonet (attached to a lovely SMLE) into the quivering chest of the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families a Mr E Balls.

He does not seem to like it and is wriggling a lot, gasping like a handed fish and cutting his fingers on the blade – which only seems to be going in a few millimeters at a time...dream lasts a loooong time :D

What type of Bayonet would you use and on which Politician?
The little known and actually quite valuable (while almost entirely useless) spike for the Mk. 2 Sten.
Into (I shall disallow NI MLAs) ..... Blears.

Without any appreciable length of weapon behind it.... I'll be able to smell her last fetid breath and spit in her mouth.



Jackie Smith with one of those spit roast polls then BBQ the b*tch and feed her to NuLabour at there conference.
Biscuits_Brown said:
spike for the Mk. 2 Sten.
Into ..... Blears.

Good call!

Biscuits_Brown said:
Without any appreciable length of weapon behind it.... I'll be able to smell her last fetid breath and spit in her mouth.

Nice touch!
Jacob Zuma, not a bayonet but a stilleto, right up the jacksie.


War Hero
Darling and Brown with both the Martini Henry triangular bayonets I have under the stairs 17.5 inches of fun, having no wpn means I will have to hold them by the sockets. :D
Good old triangular profile bayonet from a Brown Bess, good twist as it enters the stomach and thats ripped to fcuk and peritonitis if they don't bleed out...
Ms Caroline Flint. I'm not that good on historical blades, but something rusty, preferably without a blood channel and slightly serrated. Used anywhere that will wipe of that smug grin and stop her effusive fibbing permanently.
Blair, Brown, Campbell, Mandelson, Hoon, Draper, Blears, Smith and Blunkett to start with. I don’t have any bayonets to hand, but I’m willing to do my best with a corkscrew, melon balling spoon and some kebab skewers.

Edited to add ...and Harman & Goebbels Mick! How could I forget them?! :roll:
If it doesn't actually have to be a bayonet, my personal preference for putting Bliar out of our misery would be the issue shovel, the longer handled one on the left:

line them all up.
Let's go Blue Peter.....

Chainsaw Bayonet in action against pumpkins and a tree.

An interview with the (not mad at all) inventor (who definitely doesn't have too much time on his hands....

Not sure which politician to use it on though.

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