Having said that,in the mid 80's I was a member of the Mess in a Div Tpt Regt,I knew the incumbent RSM when we were both Jnr Ranks,and he was an ******** way back then.
On my first Regt Dinner in this particular mess,I got hold of one of the waiters beforehand and explained that I was teetotal,and would require a caraf of water to be left on my table for all the toasts,no probs.
Being a senior member of the mess,I was up near the top table,and after the meal all the bits and pieces were cleared away except my water,well you would have thought I had dropped my trousers and waved my willy in the air,the RSM discretely called Mr Vice to his chair,who then got hold of a waiter,who tried to take the water and was fucked off at the high port by me,the upshot was that after the toasts,the RSM sent a little note saying he would like to see me in the ante room.
Off I trot (well sort of slow amble),into the side room where said RSM proceeded to try and rip me another ********,at the end of his diatribe,I pointed out to him that if someone had bothered to consult the Mess Rules,it was laid down quite clearly,and if he liked I would get a copy,and show him the relevant passage,he sort of made some mumbled statement,and then told me my bow tie was to tall,I expressed surprise when he then said that it should be a lot slimmer like a proper bow tie,I then asked if he could show me the correct size required,he stopped the Regt Chief Clerk,and indicated that he was wearing the correct 'size',I asked if I could see it to compare it with mine,when he 'unclipped it', I undid mine and pointed out that mine was in fact a 'proper' bow tie,and would wager that it was the only proper one in the Mess,so red faced he fucked off,and never said anything again.
The bottom line was,something like half the mess members asked for the name of the supplier,and I spent many hours over the next few months showing them how to tie them,and at the next Regt Dinner,there were more members wearing 'proper' bow ties,than not!
As for the RSM,he got a commision,and was still an ******** till he retired!