Ebay item no. 180726587776 Classic! (read the description).

Good lad! He should have kept the guy's address on there so the winner could go and throw stones at the windows.

I particularly liked the diclaimer form eBay at the end "eBay doesn't allow the use of profanity or vulgar language on the site. This includes language that is racist, hateful, sexual or obscene in nature
[FONT=Arial, Verdana]If the profane words are part of a title for the item being sold, we allow sellers to 'blurb' out the bulk of the offending word with asterisks (i.e., s*** or f***)"

Wouldn't last two minutes on here:nod:

fair play looks like he might get that night on the lash by the looks of it
AND 4 days left on the bid. This should earn him enough for a cheeky weekend away in some flea ridden eastern European hovel getting the good AIDS.

Good luck to the boy.
Keep an eye on The Scum next week!! He's getting messages from journo's now!

Wonder what the headline will be? ARSERS ideas below............................
The guy has a sense of style that makes him a perfect ARRSEr, to be honest there is something in his humour that is quite military. If he is not one of us already he should perhaps be invited. Sluggy or BigBird could no doubt console him over his recent loss.
You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700

This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...

The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.

I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400...
As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...

Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's...
So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...

My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...

Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity...
I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault...
I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel's house...

After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell...
Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...

I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.
All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.

Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...

I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...

As an after thought...
There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...

The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...

So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...

Good Luck

Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else...
Complete genius.
The guy has a sense of style that makes him a perfect ARRSEr, to be honest there is something in his humour that is quite military. If he is not one of us already he should perhaps be invited. Sluggy or BigBird could no doubt console him over his recent loss.
My thoughts exactly, must be either a padbrat or ex serving, although he has missed a few tricks i would have programmed it to send her a lot further afield, she has actually turned out to be a crap shag and farts nonstop in bed at night, ah well that will teach me ,married women never could resist though.... best of luck if you bid,

regards Nigel!

P.S. Rather proud of the old appendage actually well over the average size for us Carib bean real men.
Or is it just a knackered Satnav with a story to bump up the price?
Glass half empty again today? Don't spoil the dream for the rest of us!

Mark The Convict

Posting her contact details and Nigel's Lat/Long on ARRSE would be an inspired act of spite. We can rest assured that it's occurred to him.
If it is an Arrser, then hopefully he wil post filthy photos of the dirty little scutter! :grin:
Quality description there, although I do worry that he seems to have a fixation with Nigel's penis.
Wasn't Nigel top of the lot in a shit name for a bloke poll a while back?
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Mikal Military History and Militaria 15
Fireplace The NAAFI Bar 16
R The Intelligence Cell 25

Similar threads

Latest Threads