Easy Like Sunday Morning

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Sgt_Steiner, Jan 22, 2006.

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  1. Ahh! Sunday morning.. The one day of the week when you can actually relax & read the papers. A time for cooked breakfast, filter coffee & a bit of Richard Dimbleby followed by Cu.ntyfile. Bliss.

    Unless you abide in Haus Steiner.

    Allow me to explain.

    It seems I have become an embarassment to Frau Steiner. When I awoke this morning I managed to rouse the miserable f*cker and she wasted no time in taking me to task for my latest faux-pas. It seems that I disgraced myself by nodding off in a taxi at around 0500 this morning. Imagine it! What will the neighbours think? Apparently even the taxi dvr laughed, oh the shame!
    This follows hot on the heels of the embarassment I caused her in the Mess by speaking to her freind (on introduction). See, Frau Steiner was well brought up, Daddy was Mayor, there were horses, and dance classes, all that good stuff. Anyhoo, even though I pay the bill, it seems she's now the Mess member, & i'm regularly warned to "behave.. don't embarass me". Well, in-between chatting to my pals I was brought before her chum from work - imagine a born again Christian with a fright wig & all the good looks of Zelda from TerraHawks. Hiding my unease I went before this coven & nodded and smiled my way through a good 5 mins of Dorset Life, Exmoor ponies & the healing power of Our Lord Jesus before bride of chucky deigned to acknowledge me.

    "Hello HfW Steiner, which part of Dorset are you from?" (Her husband's a WO2 FFS!)


    "EEEUWWWW" - Look of horror & a sharp exit, no doubt to the bogs in order to vomit like that old bird on Little Britain.

    Married life is great! I just wish I wasn't such a pleb & could appreciate it better!

    Women - Can't live with them,.. can't live with them!

  2. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    That's why the good lord invented Alcohol ,To numb the pain,make you forget & ease you into a gentle sleep!!
  3. A great promotion for marriage lol. Look on the bright side.........................................if you can find one.

    Wigan? Ewwwwwww lol.
  4. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Your big mistake is to have filter coffee. You should stick to freshly ground and percolated coffee. In fact, properly done it will probably stick to you! As to your hausfrau, remind her she is in the Mess as YOUR guest, not vice versa. (and prepare for holocaust)
  5. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    With a LARGE measure of a good quality Whisky added as well! Maybe a nicely rounded Scotch like Grants Ale cask or,dare I risk it...Ditch the coffee & go straight for a nice,rounded Malt like a Talisker.
    Auld-Yin,any reccomendations??
  6. I like the Black Bush (No Pun intended) :lol: