Earliest sexual experience(s)

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by whit_RE, Jan 4, 2007.

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  1. Not sure if there's any mileage in starting a thread like this, even though sex is a subject close to most of our hearts :?

    Here are mine:

    It started off as just another trip to the pads NAAFi in Rheindahlen with my mum and dad, with the potential to blag a 50pfg mix out of them...

    The next thing I remember is my mum screaming with embarrassment and pulling me away from the long shiny black leather boot I was stroking...

    You'd think this was a bad enough situation for a 5 year old to be in but it gets worse...it was still attached to the young woman that was wearing it, smiling down at me in amusement... :omg:

    The smell and feel of warm leather always sends me to a happy place :lol:

    It must have been a a year or so later when i involved in a game of 'you so me yours and i'll show you mine' with a couple of young ladies. They refused to go first, so I got the little soldier out...to a chorus of giggles :oops:

    Then the little cnuts ran off :x

    It was also around this time that I saw a woman naked for the first time...unfortunately it was my mum... :omfg:

    With experiences like this its a wonder I'm not a serial killer, mind you theres time yet, I'm only 36...
     
  2. 3 and 1/2 when my Dad came in p1ssed up, leathered my mum so hard he couldn't do her, so had a go on me

    Glad he did, been hungry for the feel of man in my bleeding bottom since
     
  3. About 6:30 this morning. Do I win a prize?
     
  4. Thank God for female cousins!
     
  5. and babysitters.....
     
  6. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    Does the dog count?
     
  7. It would if you split the topic in two

    1. For sexual experiences
    2. Sexual experiences that blossomed into loving relationships.

    I fcuked my dog, but I loved him dearly, so in essence it wasn't just sex, it was love making
     
  8. First blow job from babysitter ..... probably not the best one.... but let's face it none of them are bad.
     
  9. No...... most trouts do them badly, only very very few can do them to the required standard.

    Looking down to see a pissed up gopper with smudged make up and teeth like a busted bottle chewing on your dome isn't going to get the fluid climbing the pole is it?

    Birds that think they are doing a good job yet are shaping like a 10 year old with a meaty frube are just as much a turn off.... suggest remove champ from gob and smack top of bread with the tent peg mallet you had in your suit pocket.
     
  10. My earliest sexual experiences was at 5 years old being allowed to stroke various relatives stocking-clad legs! Ever since then I have a passion for stockings, especially if they are worn by some 75 year old granny with no teeth or someone resembling my Mum with a seventies style hair-do :twisted:
     
  11. Have to admit to being in that situation once too many! Still I grinned and endured as we soldiers do, thought of a better nosh from a time gone-by and washed the back of her tonsils with my j iz z
     
  12. a (very) quick one when i was 14 i cum in seconds
     
  13. This is the kind of topic that usually descends into 'walt' style
    bullshedding.

    If anything takes me back to my army days its this topic 'Yeah
    I lost it to me fit 21 year old 34dd neighbour, I banged her up the
    shedder and made her scream like a bitch, I was six years old'

    If I haven't heard the variation of the above once then I must have
    heard it a thousand times!

    Me, I was 28! :D
     
  14. Cuddles, you're not from Norfolk, are you??

    Oh yes they are!!! You've obviously never experienced the delights of Pompey slappers....a result of hundreds of years of breeding between street whores and press ganged matelots...
     
  15. Good point and well made. I was looking for the earliest seminal (no fnaaring if you please) sexual experiences that people have had and if they've mutated into any of those fetishes that are amusing...or make you gag :lol: