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Dying of thirst.

#1
A man, dying from thirst, was crawling through the desert. He crawled over a hill and sees a little bar surrounded by cars. He crawls in through the door and up to the bar. He chokes out the word, "Water!"
The bartender looks at him and says, "Got any money?"
The guy shakes his head no and again croaks, "Water!"
The bartender says, "No money, no water."
The guy looks around and spots a spittoon. He tells the bartender, "Guess I'll have to drink this."
The bartender replies, "Be my guest, no money, no water."

Customers seeing the man drinking out of the spittoon, start getting sick and begin rushing out of the place.

The bartender gets alarmed and tells the guy to stop, saying he was just kidding. The guy just keeps on drinking. By now the bartender is in a panic as the place is almost empty. He pleads with the guy to stop drinking.

As the last customer leaves the guy tilts the spittoon right up, drains it, then puts it down and wipes his mouth off. The bartender says, " For fucks sake, why did you keep on drinking? I told you I was just kidding."

The guy issues a huge belch and replies, "I just couldn't stop."
"Why the fuck not?" the bartender asks.

The guy replies, "Cos it was all one long string!"
 

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