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Dumbest thing you got put on a charge for ?

#1
Called before the man and got fined a days pay for writing in the duty log book........


03:00. Nothings Happened.

04:00. Killed a fly.

05:00. Still nothings happened except me killing a fly.


Hey, YOU at the back stop sniggering....

In your own time carry on.
 
#2
Non attendance of a Dental appointment.

Was at unit christmas dinner, Dento and Dental faggot both in attendance at Christmas dinner. In fact the Dento served me spuds.

Pinged and charged on my return from Christmas leave.

What a shower of Wanchors

NEVER TRUST A FECKIN BLUE HAT MATELOT
 
#3
Attempting to climb the wall to get back into camp, getting caught in the razor wire at the top and having to squeak 'help, help' until someone from the guard heard me and came to cut me out. Only 3 days ROPs for that one.
 
#4
As an apprentice soldier, fined £30 and 7 days ROP's for gambling. Was playing cards in the blanco room with matchsticks
 
#5
Months of pan bashing for having a porridge wog surname, until trog DI discovered i was born in Wales. :)
 
#7
boggy jobs namley cleaning the bogs in the guardroom and having to take off the u-bends and clean the insides they feckin stunk....All because I sat on the sideboard of a 4T comming back from Wales.

Oh and selling a non running car to a ACW living on camp in Germany the day I went on course and telling him not to move it off camp until I got back to de-reg tw@t fixed it and sold it to a boxheid who got a pull from the GCP £50 fine for that one :roll:
 
#9
Not passing a BFT and attending remedial PT. I had been on ex snow queen at the time of both.
 
#10
Zoophilia. Was accused of buggering the Regimental mascot after my 21st pish up. My 'comrades' dumped me naked in the stable, so blooted missed parade and was found by the CSM. That was 20 years ago and I still haven't lived it down.
 
#11
"Failure to show video cassette correctly rewound", after a night on stag in the Guardroom at Glencorse, c.1989. I thought the Guard Commander was joking.
 
#12
having to be dragged out of bed 2 hours late for work and when the boss asked why i told him that a few days ago he said he didnt want me to come to work drunk anymore so i never bothered coming into work as i was clearly very drunk
 
#14
7 days nick for drunkeness,it was the officers mess booze though
 
#15
Showing up for work without a shave after a hard night of making merry. When confronted by the boss, I confidently replied that it was the first day of my new moustache.

Thought it was the end of it until I was hauled before The Man to answer charges of being unkempt and mouthing off to a NCO.

Earned extra duty for a month.
 
#16
RPs for a self infilcted wound ( a tattoo ) for which I'd never reported sick with anyway.! also RP's for having haircut shorter than a no 1 by the CSM who would measure ? my hair with a ruler on a daily basis....ah the good old days
 
#17
The_Terrible_Twins said:
RPs for a self infilcted wound ( a tattoo ) for which I'd never reported sick with anyway.! also RP's for having haircut shorter than a no 1 by the CSM who would measure ? my hair with a ruler on a daily basis....ah the good old days
Ah the self inflicted. Got told to have a haircut before 7:30 am @ 6:30 am. got a mate todo a job on me. Then blamed for a self inflicted haircut. How many barbershops are open at that time of day?
Maybe things ae different today,have you designated Unit hairdressers?
 
#18
1972, pullover order, got a show parade for a "too slack" stable belt. turns up for show parade, in full number 2's, carrying tightened stable belt. even the provost sgt thought it was a urine take :(
ten years later, charged after hitting a bundesbahn bridge that was signed at 4.6 meters. I'd driven under one signed 3.8 meters half an hour earlier with no problem; it turned out the bridge sign was wrong so I got off-result!
 
#19
Simo! do your own fcuking Bowser seddy check, Achmed got fined 30 and lots of extras.............for insuboardination, gotta away with loads though
 
#20
Many many years ago sergeants from SIB had to have a drill course on their sheet. Yes, really - the men in the fat suits. I was in Egypt and was sent for mine to Guards 'depot' at El Ballah. It was a point of honour that no student left withouit losing their name. I was a red rag to many bulls but managed to hold out until last week of four. Room orderly. Cpl Blanks goes sick and is RTU. Instructor comes in and tells me to organise his bed etc to stores. Done in a flash. RQMS then stalks in and says he will do an accommodation check.
Ho Ho. One bed and bits diffi. Explained and then shown the 1001 which says no movements of accommodation stores without QM approval. What's your name Wood? All turn out to see me on the verandah but got off with rollicking and big smile. Oh yes - I got the drill cert as well.
 

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