Dullest writer in the English language?

#1
John le Carre- emotive, overlong waffle. Real espionage may be fairly mundane stuff- analysing signals intercepts, tracking shipping movements or whatever, but it can't possibly be as dreary as JlC's 'writing' :roll:

Stephen King- simply overlong! To be fair, his early stuff, as in 'Night Shift' was quite good, but since he became A Commodity (he has admitted to being 'tired of being packaged like lunch meat') he's become a f*cking bore! I suspect he's got a 'minimum length' clause in his contract; any King book could be reduced by 1/2-1/3 quite easily.

Any others? (not me, please 8) )
 
#3
Jeffrey Archer - awful, simply awful. Dull, terrible and written by a disgraced ex-con who seems to think he is a modern people's champion.

Disagree about Stephen King - admittedly some of his stuff is a little 'assembly line', but in amongst there are some books that are genuinely involving and once you get used to his style it's very satisfying to read.
 
#5
Salman Rushdie, did anyone realy read any of his shite, I tried, got fed up by page 2
 
#6
According to my boss, ME.
 

maninblack

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
Thomas Hardy; dull.

DH Lawrence; even more dull except for Lady Chatterley which is fairly dull but was ghost wriotten by someone who at least didn't have a literary effects of a tetse fly. If you want the dullest book in the English language then try The Rainbow by Lawrence.
 
#8
Rinaldi said:
Jeffrey Archer - awful, simply awful. Dull, terrible and written by a disgraced ex-con who seems to think he is a modern people's champion.

Disagree about Stephen King - admittedly some of his stuff is a little 'assembly line', but in amongst there are some books that are genuinely involving and once you get used to his style it's very satisfying to read.
My cousin's claim to fame - she was a waitress at Windsor waiting on all the Born with a Silver Spoon in Gob Brigade, one of the worst gob shites there was J. Archers' son, he tried being the big cheese to all his mates by abusing the waitress, she in turn emptied his piping hot scoff over his head - Good Drills :D
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#9
Gundulph said:
Rinaldi said:
Jeffrey Archer - awful, simply awful. Dull, terrible and written by a disgraced ex-con who seems to think he is a modern people's champion.

Disagree about Stephen King - admittedly some of his stuff is a little 'assembly line', but in amongst there are some books that are genuinely involving and once you get used to his style it's very satisfying to read.
My cousin's claim to fame - she was a waitress at Windsor waiting on all the Born with a Silver Spoon in Gob Brigade, one of the worst gob shites there was J. Archers' son, he tried being the big cheese to all his mates by abusing the waitress, she in turn emptied his piping hot scoff over his head - Good Drills :D
The son is a pillock but Jeffrey is not a bad bloke. I had dealings with him a few times and he was ok. Chatty, friendly and quite generous. His wife, however. What a miserable woman!
 
#12
Andy McNab.

Dr Alien Bombard comes a close second - he wrote a book about his solo trip across the Atlantic in a rubber dinghy. Nothing at all happened.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#13
I nominate Medman82. A recent example of his shitieness was released onto the site only last weekend.
 
#15
Joseph Conrad; has anyone EVER got beyond page 112 of Heart of Darkness? I liked most Hardy though except The Mayor of Casterbridge. Christopher Eccleston's movie of Jude was one of the very few film adaptations IMO that are as good as the book.
 
#16
Tolkien,Le Carre,Steven King(with the exception of "The Walk,and Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption),Dennis Wheatley,Ron L Hubbard,any Sci Fi author,the list is much too long! :wink:
 
#17
tropper66 said:
Salman Rushdie, did anyone realy read any of his shite, I tried, got fed up by page 2
Try some of his kids books, Huron and the Sea od Stories is really rather good.

J. D. Salinger is, however on of the dullest humans ever conceived. He'd be number one if it wasn't for F Scott Fitzgerald. The great Gatsby could be used as an anasthetic it's so bloody dull.
 
#18
Have to agree with some of those listed. Conrad, Salinger, Scott-Fitzgerald and Hardy and would have to add Jerome K Jerome and George Elliot. I found both Three Men in a Boat and Silas Marner to be a total waste of a tree.
 
#19
RoofRat said:
Tolkien,Le Carre,Steven King(with the exception of "The Walk,and Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption),Dennis Wheatley,Ron L Hubbard,any Sci Fi author,the list is much too long! :wink:
Tolkien?!!! are you having a laugh?! :?
 
#20
Gundulph said:
RoofRat said:
Tolkien,Le Carre,Steven King(with the exception of "The Walk,and Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption),Dennis Wheatley,Ron L Hubbard,any Sci Fi author,the list is much too long! :wink:
Tolkien?!!! are you having a laugh?! :?
Nar, Tolkien writes a lot without saying much. He also cuts away from the action so not much of the fighty stuff that made the films.
 
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