Duff kit.


Following the success of "Best war film,"  I'd like to kick off a worst issue kit debate.  No SA80 or Clansman as this is old hat.

Let me chuck a few in:

1)     PRC 349 ancils.  That holster thing.  Where is it meant to go, how is it meant to stay on?  However, this is eclipsed by the headset.  I would gaze in disbelief at section commanders at the end of attacks - a large sink plunger slowly moving down their cheek, a sweaty ear and a mike with the clips bust tied round their neck, slowly starving their brain of oxygen.

2)     Quick release buckles on the bergen shoulder straps.  Who trialed them and thought they were possibly any use?  The joy of adjusting you shoulder strap on a miserable, long night tab, only to have your bergen leap off one shoulder and the bottom of the strap disappear amongst your webbing.  Even better if you had the hip belt on.  100lbs sticking from your arse at 90 degrees.  

3)     Angle torches.  Why?  It's huge, runs off batteries than can power a milk float and for some reason is bent.  It is quite simply worse than any torch money can buy.
Allow me

The Chain Gun - Probably the Worst Weapon In The World

I speak from experience on MBTs but I know that Armd Inf think the same.

Who needs a "machine gun" that has a slower rate of fire than Wellington's line infantry equipped with the Brown Bess? I mean we had GPMGs and apart from a few fumes that thing went on for ever, just add more ammo and a drop of oil.

Chain Gun - bang, wait 2 secs, bang, wait 2 secs, pop, Top Half!!!!! Coax are there for mowing down infantry (sorry Inf) not tickle them.



War Hero
Mess Dress, especially AGC/RLC style!

Somebody must have thought long and hard on how to make clothing as uncomfortable and as impracticable as possible.  Think about it, what’s best for eating & drinking?

a.  2 solid collars up to your ears, cardboard baby bib, trousers up to your belly button & a jacket the height of your ribs. (Cost 400 quid+)

b.   Old pair of jeans with belt (for loosening off) & a tee shirt.  (Cost 40 quid+/-)
1. Chairman Mao Suits, don't know anyone that has ever worn one, yet for some reason known only to the Gods of War, the army still insists on issuing them.

2. Drinking attachment for Mk 10 respirator and H2O bottle..never works and always ends up getting CS gas in the bottle in the gas chambers.

3. The little right-angle arial clip for the PRC 351/2. Forever breaking and resulting in a trailing wand. Add to that the battery clips that are forever undoing.....

4. Command and Rebro wire for 352. Impossible to cut.



Have to stand up for Chairman Mao trousers - they might look old-fashioned (as well they might, since they've been around since the Ark) but they're brill kit, nice, warm, and unlike the saggy issue long-johns you can get them on without taking your boots off in the OP.

There is a reason for R-angle torches being r-angled - it's for when you're marking out NATO T's and LS's so they stand up the right way or can be hooked onto kit .....but then if they made a dinky IR filter and a handy right-angle attachment for maglites that would be a better solution. And I imagine you ought to be able to do the same sort of thing with cylumes.

As for duff kit...where do I start ?



a. Tailgate on a rover - crappy little hinges that snap at the first bit of strain and a towing bracket put in the perfect place to bend the tailgate in half when the hinges give way - just compare the build quality between a 'rover and one of those dinky Steyrs.

Abuse of Land Rovers is not tolerated in these parts .... :mad:

Devotee of Solihull's finest


Good points.

I know the r-angle torch is made that way for NATO T's etc, but this in turn is toilet for several reasons:

1)     God gave us Cylumes.

2)     If you take everyone's torch to make a NATO T, what do people read their maps with?  And who collects them after the attack?

3)     No-one in the world uses them.

Ref. the Chain Gun - how right you are.  When I was in Warrior I never ceased to be amazed by my gunner, struggling to take the gun to bits to clear a stoppage whilst we bounced cross country.  Then hunting the turret for little bits of chain gun.  It NEVER worked.  RIGs would claim your drills were poor, but it would appear that just firing the thing was bad drills.  And what sort of gun doesn't work if the batteries are flat?

Incredibly, the Yanks, who sold us the electric shoe box gun, use the L37.  We used to use that and it worked.  Who can't make a gimpie work?


Straying briefly from QM(T) to QM(M); undoubtedly the worst bit of kit ever is the 10 man rat pack.  I have to admit, though, that the jam is nice.


For mental breakdown inducing frustration it is difficult to beat the shrinking properties of '58 pattern webbing.  They couldn't have made it worse if they had tried.  (Red-arses report to the regimental museum if you do not know what I am talking about).


Hey Schimfer, you seem about my generation.  Do remember puttees and the way they used to rip any hacks on your fingers when you'd been in the field for a bit and you had to tuck the long trailing thingy in (unless you'd been to the tailoress and got them velcro'd of course)? Fookin' Shiite, Sah!!

On a positive note, I can positively recommend the Pinz Gauer as a mode of transport to you non-Air Assault chaps.  
10 man rat packs..whaaaaaaaa?

Love the sausages, tin of boiled sweets, bacon grill, but could well live without Cheese Possessed.


NO ONE likes the sausages.  This is because they are pasty, grey tubes of stuff squeezed in to a lard sheath.  I once fed them to seagulls on the Isle of Wight and was responsible for the death of thousands of birds through heart disease.

Boiled sweets?  Small sweet pieces of sand paper.  Bacon grill?  Not so bad I suppose.  

Enough tom foolery and back to my Torygraph.  Baahhh.
If we ' re talking rations it has to be dumplings and butterscotch sauce - revolting.

How many £1000s have been wasted by dumped boil in the bags?


It's all a matter of taste - when they're hot the dumplings in butterscotch sauce go down a treat, massive blood-sugar high.  But then, I'm strange, I don't like the instant oat cereal stuff.

AND I always thought puttees were kind of useful...they kept all the sh*te out of your DMS.
going back to '58 pattern webbing....

whose bloody idea was it to hook the backpack on in front of you then swing the f*@king thing over your head?????? removing your helmet and spraining your neck in the process i might add!!!!

AND where were you supposed to put your kit once your sleeping bag was in???????


Talking of bad rations, the latest trend of removing the cheese from certain ORP menus has me baffled.  I understand there must have been a problem with keeping cheese in storage for years before consuming but play fair.  A sticky label informing you 'Cheese removed' is fine, but replaced with what?  Bugger all.  Dry biscuit browns for lunch, good for morale.


I had to chuckle and I dont mean any offence when they brought out the ethnically correct ration menus. One of the Jewish menus was Lancashire Hot Pot how kosha is that????


yes indeed the 10 man rat pack was totally useles and caused a lot of grief sharing the choclate and bolies as there is never enough red ones


You can keep the boilies.  They're like sucking small pieces of extremely sweet sandpaper.  No match for cheese posessed, but pretty bad nonetheless.

As a sideline, there are apparently 2 varieties of cheese posessed, an orange one and a yellow one.  Both are impervious to heat and inedible, but one releases more goo when you try to cook it.  Handy stuff to hide behind in case of nuclear war though.

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