Drunken shopping trolley riding

#1
Any suggestions on the best way to ride in a shopping trolley whilst drunk? Went for the obvious one of just sitting in it with legs over the sides. However tends to be a bit painful when landing on tarmac, after being launched out of it when it hits a kerb at speed!
 
#2
There's only one way and that's standing, adopting a slight surfer pose.
 
#3
Brother shagged a 54 year-old munter on one round the back of Tescos in Devizes after a platoon night out.
Seems a fair definition of ride to me.
 
#11
Outstanding said:
Dwarf said:
Brother shagged a 54 year-old munter on one round the back of Tescos in Devizes after a platoon night out.
Seems a fair definition of ride to me.
What - on or in a shopping trolley? respect!!
If memory serves he just stuck her on it and then went for it. Whole Bn knew by first parade next day, puts them tom-toms to shame.
 
#12
Dwarf said:
Outstanding said:
Dwarf said:
Brother shagged a 54 year-old munter on one round the back of Tescos in Devizes after a platoon night out.
Seems a fair definition of ride to me.
What - on or in a shopping trolley? respect!!
If memory serves he just stuck her on it and then went for it. Whole Bn knew by first parade next day, puts them tom-toms to shame.
missing something on Tom Toms but that must have been quite a ride - her arrse must have looked like a piece pf Gingham materiel!!
 
#13
Dwarf said:
Outstanding said:
Dwarf said:
Brother shagged a 54 year-old munter on one round the back of Tescos in Devizes after a platoon night out.
Seems a fair definition of ride to me.
What - on or in a shopping trolley? respect!!
If memory serves he just stuck her on it and then went for it. Whole Bn knew by first parade next day, puts them tom-toms to shame.
Sounds better than my comical ride!
 
#15
Outstanding said:
Dwarf said:
Outstanding said:
Dwarf said:
Brother shagged a 54 year-old munter on one round the back of Tescos in Devizes after a platoon night out.
Seems a fair definition of ride to me.
What - on or in a shopping trolley? respect!!
If memory serves he just stuck her on it and then went for it. Whole Bn knew by first parade next day, puts them tom-toms to shame.
missing something on Tom Toms but that must have been quite a ride - her arrse must have looked like a piece pf Gingham materiel!!
Tom-toms - native way of passing messages and gossip at the speed of sound. Bn. rumour net is faster.

Never mind her arrse, her face wasn't much better either! That's what staring down a mortar tube does for you, every other hole looks small in comparison.
 
#16
smasher682 said:
Dwarf said:
Outstanding said:
Dwarf said:
Brother shagged a 54 year-old munter on one round the back of Tescos in Devizes after a platoon night out.
Seems a fair definition of ride to me.
What - on or in a shopping trolley? respect!!
If memory serves he just stuck her on it and then went for it. Whole Bn knew by first parade next day, puts them tom-toms to shame.
Sounds better than my comical ride!
Aye, but he still had to pay for the taxi back.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#17
Dwarf said:
That's what staring down a mortar tube does for you, every other hole looks small in comparison.
I think we have a winner.

But I am confused. I take my trolley, I pay for my purchases and I wheel them to the community transport where Cedric helps with loading. He is a willing boy is Cedric. He hopes to join the army one day he tells me.
 
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