Drunk

#1
Just come in... Pissed up Drunk and wondering...

Where the fcuk are my shoes??? Anybody else suffer from this kind of problem. The scary thing is i walked the last half mile because the taxi was too expensive and im so tight i only bought double glazing so the kids couldnt hear the ice cream van!

Edited to adjust "Chavvy text speak" used when drunk.
 
#3
Anya1982 said:
Bet you feel a fool now?

Me thinks you should cut down on the ale a tad :wink:
WHY,


one of the best things about Christmas, is the excuses you can use to go on the P1SS

Sparky
 
#4
Good point, photos to accompany your next p1ssed thread will be much appreciated crow :wink:
 
#5
Good effort mate ! I think it's that gorilla again ! I am liking your work mate
 
#6
Sadly enough (But fortunate for me) I was wearing Issue socks. They seem to have held up well against The muddy field and puddles i fought my way through... God Save the Queen!

The hangover is impressive. That gorilla has really gone to work on me this time round!
 
#8
Bad_Crow said:
im so tight i only bought double glazing so the kids couldnt hear the ice cream van!
cant help on the shoe front (they will prob turn up on ebay if they are any good), but just wanted to boo hiss at the above.

proper tight g*ts would tell their kids that the ice cream van bell meant that he had run out!
 
#9
Until the age of 6 my lad was convinced (can't think why! lol ) that the sound of that van was actually the "fish van" he heh :twisted:
 
#10
Rapierman said:
Until the age of 6 my lad was convinced (can't think why! lol ) that the sound of that van was actually the "fish van" he heh :twisted:
lovin' your work Rapier man
 
#11
I think the most confusing night for me was getting completely p1ssed and lost on the underground trying to get from kings cross to paddington(about 5 stops, it took me 2 and a half hours!!!!!) Considering iam from London and have been using the underground for 24 years i was a tad worried, i think i went via every other fcuking station in zone 1,i then woke up fully clothed with my keys by my side but for some reason i had kicked the door in i guess i couldnt get the key in the lock, the hangover was a killer and i had to be up at 5 the next day.

Oh the fun, i love christmas. :D
 
#12
definately agree, nothing better than self flagelation with a heavy bergen :D:D:D at my company's do up in Workington n for some reason ended up arguing about driving licenses and trailers till 7 in the morning while some tune was on loop the entire night.
 
#13
Went to a mate's birthday party, that started at 4 in the afternoon, she owned a bar, free beer, after a good deal of drinking,cavorting and being exceptionately witty, charming and attractive to the opposite sex, I apparently left in a Taxi to go home. I woke up sometime later, in my bed, naked and not even an hangover. Not a problem, you say, well done that man, no hangover, we are so jealous etc.
That's what I thought until I lent over to look at the time on my watch...........Nothing there, no wallet or house keys either (being a person of habit these things live on my bedside table in the evening, mainly so in the morning I don't have to rush around and find them).
After a while my hunt took me to the front door, to find my wallet there, the contents all over the place, change everywhere. Getting close I thought. Opened the front door to find my clothes lying neatly in a pile, with my watch on top and the keys in the lock.

As it transpired I had taken a taxi, got home paid him by giving him my wallet. Ran off, got to my front door got undressed opened the door and went to bed. The Taxi driver than posted my wallet and change through the letter box after me.

All the above recounted joyfully to me by the Mrs nextdoor neighbour.
 
#15
Darth_Doctrinus said:
Kingo Crow - now show the fcuking civvies on this board why we're the best in the World and go for a run - best hangover cure ever! :D
Hmmm.... better half is always on about "going for a run to cure a hangover" me has not quite got the "I really want to do that" effect just yet. But he is working on me :wink:
And I think I just read that some poor sod has visited Workington. You need a large drink methinks after THAT trauma :D
 
#16
MrsDarthspud said:
Darth_Doctrinus said:
Kingo Crow - now show the fcuking civvies on this board why we're the best in the World and go for a run - best hangover cure ever! D
Hmmm.... better half is always on about "going for a run to cure a hangover" me has not quite got the "I really want to do that" effect just yet. But he is working on me wink
And I think I just read that some poor sod has visited Workington. You need a large drink methinks after THAT trauma D
They say that running is 50% mental. When I have a hangover, I just decide to do the other 50% later in the week :D
 
#18
ah yes, there was this time that i went out and got royally cnuted on the first day of leave, got home and assured my folks that i wasn't pi55ed and promptly lagged myself at the kitchen door, result! New carpet had been layed by the time i woke up in the morning. Never a word spoken about it since
 
#19
Dont know about shoes - but after a particularly heavy session at catterick woke up to find id lost wallet, id card etc etc - being a good boy i reported it to the guard room and was asked what they were in - still being hungover and not fully with it replied wallet and was then asked what was the wallet was in - total non compusmentus with the question until the orderly sgt produced my trousers with the wallet in the pocket - not got a clue.
 
#20
Well lets discuss this running Plan. I used to like running until 5 years of army piss ups turned me from a lean mean marathon machine to a lean polite BPFA in 9:30 type. So maybe I should have gone for a a run. But for now i will stick to winging and getting sympathy off pathetic civvies who dont say "Self inflicted, get on with it d1ckhead" Instead they say "Would you like another brew" & "Red or brown sauce on your egg Balmcake"

"Its a fcuking BANJO u cnut... But brown please"

Running??? Maybe tomorrow!
 
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