A bloke spends the all night drinking in his local. At closing time he goes to stand up and falls flat on his face. Unable to stand up he crawls out the door hoping the fresh air will clear his head. Once outside he attempts to stand up and falls flat again. Desperate to get home because he knows he will get an ear bashing off his wife, he decides to crawl the half mile to his house. When he get home he pulls himself upright and manages to get his key in the door. Once inside he falls flat on his face again and crawls upstairs and into bed and crashes out. In the morning his wife starts shouting at him. "You drunken bastard you were out on the lash again last night and got totally pissed." "No." He replied, "I was working late." His wife replied."There is no point trying to lie." Shouted his wife. "The pub rang up this morning to say you had left your wheelchair behind again!"