DROPS Tasking

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by RTFQ, Jan 23, 2006.

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  1. RTFQ


    It's finally happened, the chain of command has crumbled and every civilian who ever worked anywhere near the military - especially if they took the place of a serviceman - should be taken outside and shot (but not with the rifles they procured for us). All IPTs and DTMA first.

    Has anyone got a couple of DROPS with Flatracks ready to receive 2 x 20ft ISO containers available for a task tomorrow? PMs gratefully received or email me at ohmyfuckingchristwhatkindofchickenshitorganisationdoIworkfor@Army.Mod.uk.

  2. RTFQ, I sense you have a problem with DROPS, can you expand on it a little?
  3. RTFQ


    Yes, I need two of the feckers but can no longer poke my head out of the window and shout:

    "Hey! Cpl Smith!"
    "How's the missus getting on in her new quarter? I saw Huddersfield took a beating over the weekend"
    "Oh, She's fine and we're playing - "
    "Enough of that - are you Hazmatted up?"
    "Erm - "
    "Good, grab two of your lads and come up to my office."
    "Awww Sir..."
    <RT looks back into office as if addressing someone inside> "What's that RSM? You're short of guys to stag on this weekend? Do I know of anyone? mmm, Do I? Do YOU know of anyone Cpl Smith?"
    "I'm on the way sir"

    "Oi! I saw that Cpl Smith!"

    Instead when I want something I go through this:

    "Hello, I'm in the army and I'd like something please"
    "Oh, I'm afraid I'm a civil servant and you can feck right off, try this number....."

    "Hello, I'm in the army..."
    "I'll stop you there - I'm a fat civvy sat at a desk, I'm really not interested. Have you tried fecking right off?"

    "Hello, sorry to bother you. Yes I understand that you got a degree from Walsall and that your car is much nicer than mine, but could I possib - "
    "Are you in the army?"
    "Why yes I am - did I mention that some of my favourite people are civil servants?"
    "Feck off"
    "But - "

    "Hello, I'm (use civilian version of name to fool them, put on a voice that makes you sound like you have a disability for the sympathy) I've got an urgent request in support of Operation XXXXXX, can you help?"
    "Operation? I'll tell you about operations, I had my varicose veins removed on tuesday, giving me hell they were - when are you having yours?"
    "No, it's not a medical operation - its what we call the military effort in <Wherever>"
    "Where's that?"
    "Don't you watch the news?"
    "Oooh no, far too depressing - I do like a bit of Deal or no Deal though. Here, are you in the army?"
    "Good, ever so bossy they are, they don't grovel or anything - we've got one in our office. Uses rude words."
    "He does, you should hear what he calls Noel Edmunds"
    "Listen you silly mare, can you help me?"
    "Don't talk to me like that - I'll get my Barry on you"
    "You'll what?"
    "Barry, he's not scared"
  4. So, it's not purely a DROPS problem (apart from the proverbial straw that broke the camels back...), more of a case of the lunatics have taken over the asylum - otherwise known as The Civvies Are In Charge - All Hail The Civil Servants!! (Why are they called that - none of them are civil to me, and they boss us all around?) :?

    Edited for being a spelling doofus!
  5. Let's do the whole fcuking village!
  6. Where is your MTO? Get him onto it.

    Oh - are you the MTO? Get a grip!
  7. I find myself in agreement with RTFQ, I'm married to a Snivelling servant and I can't get her to do a damn thing either. (And yes, I have tried the pineapple ring, whipped cream and a cherry on the top thing.... still no deal.)
  8. Oi. I'm a civvy in an IPT. You can't talk about me like that.

    Can I help? Er, nope. You're not on my UIN, see? and, er, I'm on a coffee break at the moment. Got an Equal Ops Refresher for the rest of the week too. I'll schedule your request in for September (subject to other non-operational priorities like enhancing my CV with courses and chatting up the bird from the registry).
  9. "You see RTFQ, if only it were that simple..you and the civil servant would sit in the shade and drink the good wine, eat fresh olives and talk of the harvest to come. Then men who were men, men who would run with bulls at Pamplona and drink the good wine, not as good as that served to the civil servant obviously, would come and drive the DROPS. They would drive the mountain roads into Guernica and beyond and then the coastal roads and the women would come out and make flower garlands, like before the war but gayer and more free with their kisses."

    (From "The Civil Servant Always Stops Work at 1530 hours on Friday" by Ernest Hemingway)

    Have you rung Gullivers??
  10. Sorry do they actualy start work?

    My fist (Abusive) PM of the day from stabbtiffy is normaly timed about 0924. Then the entire day is spent hurling insults (apart from the 1.5 hours he takes for lunch and his wank breaks).
  11. Corporal Smith and his section must be loving it though!
  12. Went to POL the duty car the other day. For various reasons to do with civil servants and ROs not being able to apply logic, I don't have a nice little black key, so have to rely upon the old civvy in the POL hut. So, having rearranged the day to be able to get there when he's there, I turn up - he isn't there. Search for 40 mins and eventually leave. Repeat 3 times during the week, until eventually a major search, with others, finds a sign of life lurking in a portakabin that looks disused.

    VB: Are you the POL Storeman?

    Old Civvy Storeman: No, but I can issue fuel.

    VB: Great, let's go!

    OCS: I only issue fuel when the POL man isn't here. He's supposed to be here today, so I'm not doing it.

    What I don't understand is that when I complain to these creatures' bosses, they do nothing apart from suggesting I either go back later or carry out a better area search.
  13. ...and there we see the problem in 'civilianising' so much of the military infrastructure/support. The civilians get a contract and job spec that states exactly what they can and cannot do. Nowhere in those documents does it say to be sensible/logical/helpful/flexible. Sack 'em all and get proper soldier (or sailor or airmen) to do the job. Oh, but we can't - we've sacked them so that we can employ civvies! :evil:
  14. I suggest you mobilise all of your uniformed colleagues, put cordons in place around canteen and then go in hard a la Falls Road. Seize POL storeman under POTA and refuse to release him for twenty years. Keep him in H block at back of site and give him blankets inlieu of bri-nylon leisure wear and brown coat.