Dropped a bollock.

Have you ever pissed in the wardrobe when legless?


  • Total voters
    56
#1
A tad inebriated last night and managed to mistake the walk in wardrobe for the bog.

The mrs ain't happy, I can tell you; no sense of humour women.

Anybody else managed to do this?
 
#2
Not done it myself but a lass I used to work with's boyfriend once allegedly came in steaming in the daft hours of the morning and had a piss in the rabbit hutch all over her floppy eared pet, needless to say she wasn't happy and it took her a while to see the funny side.
 
#4
A tad inebriated last night and managed to mistake the walk in wardrobe for the bog.

The mrs ain't happy, I can tell you; no sense of humour women.

Anybody else managed to do this?
Explain to your missus that it's only a wardrobe and if she continues to be gobby about it her anus will be getting employed as a urinal instead.

Then right hook her for having the temerity to question you.
 
#5
went to sleep after getting pissed (incedentaly the eve of jackos death) next morning the missus wasn't speaking to me... apparently I had got up and started pissing in the wardrobe and when she tried to stop me I told to fuck off out the bathroom.
 
#6
A tad inebriated last night and managed to mistake the walk in wardrobe for the bog.

The mrs ain't happy, I can tell you; no sense of humour women.

Anybody else managed to do this?
You seem to have caught lockerhead drinking disease.

The next symptom is bouncing your wife's face off every available kitchen work surface.
 
#7
I was working away & staying in a pub B&B when I got up in a drunken sleepy stupor for a slash. I woke up stood at the bottom of the landlady's bed schlong in hand......... how she laughed.
 
#8
Not pissed in a wardrobe, but did walk into a bints room and piss on her shoes....which were by her bed which she was sleeping in, so she apparently got the full view. Oh and did piss on a fellow arser once.
 
#9
Not done it myself but a lass I used to work with's boyfriend once allegedly came in steaming in the daft hours of the morning and had a piss in the rabbit hutch all over her floppy eared pet, needless to say she wasn't happy and it took her a while to see the funny side.
That's the epitome of 'not a happy bunny'.
 
#11
I once emptied out a tub of Flora into the bin and replaced it with one of my freshly laid eggs before returning it to my mates fridge.

I was drunk but it was a concious act of nastiness because I knew his parents were do back off holiday the next morning and the thought of them wanting a slice of toast when they got back made me laugh.

He didn't share my view.
 
#12
A tad inebriated last night and managed to mistake the walk in wardrobe for the bog.

The mrs ain't happy, I can tell you; no sense of humour women.

Anybody else managed to do this?
I'm trying to work out what question your asking in the poll....can only assume your asking if us fellow ARRSERS swamped in your wardrobe after shagging your missus....so mine is a NO as I had to escape through the window quick when you suddenly returned home and lagged against your bin as your wardrobe was full of other ARRSERS......I will put my hand up to wiping my cock on your bedroom curtains though.
 
#13
Nope.

Have a mate who got up, opened a drawer, pissed into it, closed the drawer again and went back to sleep.

And know a guy who shat in front of a door in a 10-bed dorm room, on the inside. Incidentally the door also opened to the inside, rubbing shit into the carpet many times before somebody got to cleaning it up. Bliss.

He wasn't popular.
 
#14
Mates parents house when he was home and we went out, I didn't recognise the surroundings and pissed in their wardrobe thinking it was my en suite.

Wicker Bin in ex girlfriends parents study, I was sleeping in there.

When I was 16 staying at a mates house the toilet was 2 flights and next to his parents room, consciously decided to piss in a pint pot and share it equally between several pot plants, the fish tank and peeled back the carpet and underlay to pour the rest through the floor boards.

Never done it in my own home(s) though.
 
#16
Nope.

Have a mate who got up, opened a drawer, pissed into it, closed the drawer again and went back to sleep.
Was he a sapper?

My ex did this, I wouldn't have cared if he'd pissed in the drawer with his clothes in, I was a tad unhappy about it. Made him wash everything in the drawer (and the one underneath in case of leakage), wash and disinfect the drawers and finally just for good measure, swap them round so that his gear was in the still-pissy-smelling drawers. Then I laughed about it.
 
#18
Nope.

Have a mate who got up, opened a drawer, pissed into it, closed the drawer again and went back to sleep.

And know a guy who shat in front of a door in a 10-bed dorm room, on the inside. Incidentally the door also opened to the inside, rubbing shit into the carpet many times before somebody got to cleaning it up. Bliss.

He wasn't popular.
Was on activation prior to Med Man 1 in BATUS when one of the Plank pissheads who we were sharing the billet with was boasting how he was going to piss in one of my young Craftsmans locker (he was notorious for swamping) when he got back off the piss. Myself and another full screw sneaked away ten minutes earlier from the bar whilst a couple of his Bombadiers kept him drinking whilst we swopped his locker for the Cfn's locker. When the rest of the lads got back to the room in Crowfoot we had the lights off and after the normal drunken banter between around 30 of us of Plank fuckwits/spanner wankers we could hear him stagger into my young lads bed space(he was told to stay asleep) and piss in his locker whilst we all told him what a cock he was. Next morning he got up and tried apologising to the young Crafty whilst we all kept straight faces and to his utter disbelief couldn't understand why he took it so well...until he opened his locker to find someone elses kit.
 
#19
Yeh, I was a right swamp monkey.

I've pissed my bed, I've gotten out of my bed and pissed on other beds (with mates sleeping in them), I once pissed over my eldest child (she was about four at the time), I've pissed all over a small table that had all the remote controls on it, I've tried to piss out of a window and just pissed all over the wall (obviously my dick wasn't big enough) and at a mess dinner I once pissed all over an AGC female warrant officer who was sat opposite me (I thought I was getting it in the water jug). If I was ever somewhere where we had to use bunk beds, I always was given the bottom bunk; I've had mattresses that had more rings on them than 300 year old oak trees.

I'm now in A.A. and haven't had an incident like that since.
 
#20
Until I looked at the results of the poll I was starting to wonder if I was dealing with a drop menu from Mumsnet. Years ago unless you had pissed in the locker or wardrobe you were not on your way to earning your right of passage. In those days anything involving copious amounts of alcohol resulting in mind warping activities was either as a sole activity or involving others as important as a passing out parade. Thankfully when I looked at the poll and saw that there were almost 50% prepared to fess up I was gratified that the truth was out there. Clearly the others were cadets, bull shitters, walts, sicko fants, mumsnet and little turds who thought it was naughty.
Oh and civilian types who think it is rude!
 

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