One of those, "ought to be true even if it isn't" stories. You can substitute Aldershot and the Paras for Ft Bragg and the 82nd if you prefer it to have taken place in England Only a Special Forces Sergeant could think of this .... from the country where drunk driving is considered a sport by the guys in the 82nd, comes this "could be" true story. Recently a routine military police patrol parked outside the Green Beret Club on Ft Bragg. After last call the officer noticed a soldier wearing a new Green Beret leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry night) -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The military police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the truly proud new Special Forces Sergeant. "Because I'm the new guy on the team, tonight I'm the designated decoy."