Driving types on Britains motorways

Discussion in 'Cars, Bikes 'n AFVs' started by Barrack Room Lawyer, Jul 31, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Don't know If this has been done before, apologies if it has but I have been noting the different types of driver you are likely to encounter on Britains motorways today:

    The Middle Laner:
    Found on any motorway in Britain usually doing around 68mph, refuses to budge from the middle lane as they probably think the driving lane is "for buses and coaches only" or some other such mentalism.

    4 oclock bandit:
    Usually found in the middle lane, while you are in the driving lane, they approach you from the rear, either in the driving lane or middle lane but as they get into your blind spot at "4 oclock" they slow down and match your speed, just hovering about, this results in you having to brake as you are fast approaching a HGV and have nowhere to pull out to.

    8 oclock bandit:
    Similar to the 4 oclock bandit, the difference being they are in the driving or middle lane, when you overtake them, for some reason they speed up and stay on your "8 oclock" preventing you from changing lanes, usaully found driving a BMW.

    Brake Tapper.
    These drivers are the main causes of stop/start queues on motorways, they are driving along quite happily but then for no reason at all, they tap their brakes, this results in the person behind tapping theirs, probably a bit harder and so on causing a shockwave effect in the line of traffic resulting in the poor gits 3 miles behind actually having to stop.

    You drive along keeping the correct braking distance from the car in front, that gap is then filled by someone desperate to get pull out and crowbar themselves into, they usually dont then go any faster, it also doesnt matter that there was nothing behind you and if they had waited for you to pass they would of had the whole shagging motoway to move around on.

    They have no clue where they are going, no sense of direction, they depend on their satnav to get them to where they are going, usually found turning off the junction at the last possible moment.

    Alonso's Lorry
    HGV driver who for some reason believe that his fully laden HGV is as fast as a F1 car and pulls out to overtake another lorry at breakneck speed when in reality he is going 1 mph faster, they particluarly like to perform this manouvere on dual carrigeways creating a "rolling roadblock" effect.

    Any more?
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Jedi driver
    No indicators and rely's on the force to convey his next move.

    Driving miss daisy
    40 mph on 70 mph motorway if you dont like motorways stay on the A roads.
  3. I just hate the numpties who have absolutely no lane discipline what so ever. Probably the cause of most of the slow moving chaos to be found on the motorways.
  4. The sheep'scunt: Anybody in any vehicle found on the road between where I am and where I want to be.
    • Like Like x 3
  5. Listen you lot,everyone knows there's only one sort of driver on motorways,they're called Morons.

    Strangely enough,they're always driving the other car/lorry/motorbike/police car/coach,etc! :excited:
    • Like Like x 1
  6. slightly to the side on this thread- living in N.I. now i've noticed drivers have big problems giving way at junctions and sit in the right hand and will not move, no matter what causing others to undertake them, very very selfish drivers over here
  7. I am with you on the twats that stay in the middle lane and will not move under any circumstances, except to swerve in front of you when their exit approaches.
    Also those who drive whilst looking through a port-hole of snow or frost.
  8. There are 2 types that drive on the motorway:

    Me - good driver

    Everyone else - *******
    • Like Like x 4
  9. skid2

    skid2 LE Book Reviewer

    Also entering motorways few seem to give way or move over allowing people to join from the sliproad. Because of this I'm convinced most people just floor it, hold their breath and hope there's a gap when they get there.
    Lorry drivers used to be great nowdays these things just seem to be driven by headcases.
  10. The person entering gives way not the traffic already on the road.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Or jumping red lights and stopping at green in case one of their family members are crossing the other way? :)
    • Like Like x 1
  12. On a recent 6 hour drive from Hertfordshire to Deepest Darkest Pembrokeshire, I twice encountered the Indicate ( No Mirror!), then "immediately manoeuvre" drivers. to change lanes directly infront/ across the bonnet of my car....

    note, i am driving at at steady 75-80 (Speedometer indicated) in the right hand lane (once), and the other time I was in the centre lane, and had to take evasive action -> towards the right lane where there was a passing car (faster).

    Not a happy bunny, or am I a 4 o'clock Bandit =?
  13. I hate those twats who won't pull over out of my way when I flash my headlights at them. Inconsiderate numpties!
    (Or those that don't increase speed when I'm right behind them!)
  14. I have had these, they just put my back up, I actually slow down just to annoy them :D

    My pet hate is people going round roundabouts and indicating one exit TOO early and carry on round, cue sharp braking and lots of swearing
  15. The Rage Bringer:

    The entire motorway is his personal playground,lane discipline is for the weak and the highway code is for propping up the wonky leg of the coffee table back home.
    This driver use's indicators to let you know he changed lanes eight seconds ago and use's his rearview to check that the stack of crappy carrier bags he has in the boot hasn't moved.
    Never drives alone,always has at least one too many people in his car,for extra distraction.
    Can usually be found driving a rusting mid nineties BMW with a gaffer tapped wing mirror and no insurance.
    • Like Like x 1