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Driving Test disaster stories.

First test was going great then we got to our third and final roundabout and some **** in a black Corsa indicated to leave on my junction. I went into the gap, he changed his mind, flipped off his indicator and came within a foot of rear ending us. I had just enough time to get my foot down and go right up to the back of a lorry to avoid a collision.

I was feeling super chuffed to have got away with it, until the examiner told me to pull into a lay-by, got out the car and told me the test was abandoned on account of dangerous driving.

"Why did you pull out in front of that Corsa?"
"He was indicating to use my exit, but stayed on."
"Not that I saw..."
"Well, he was."
"If you say so. Wait here till your instructor turns up."

6 weeks later. Same car. Same route. Same examiner.... and I pass with just one minor for undue caution at junctions.
I wonder why?
 
I managed to break the examiners windows, when doing an emergency stop I stopped too fast and everything in the back of the car hit the windscreen and it might have cracked a little, well when I say a little....

They then went out of their way to try and fail me by trying to get me to do things that break the highway code which I kept mentioning

Still passed, but they were the most awkward they could have been
 
Had a mate who failed in the first 10 seconds.

Army tester in Catterick.

He jumped in the landrover beside the instructor ,

One hand on the wheel he started the engin, swapped hands and with his left changed the mirror so he could see.

Then took his right hand off the wheel to adjust his beret while looking to see just how good looking he thought he was.

Instructor just said fail fucc off.
 
Doesn't matter to me whether I am still alive or not.

But everebode else will still kno.

Winker.
Er... What exactly will everebode else will still kno?
I'm intrigued. Do tell me old love.
If you were to die before this year's SPOTY award nominations were announced, what would our fellow arrsers still know?
The drunken ramblings of an old fool perhaps?
 
My best 'pupil' was a chap, mid 30's,big tough chap. wanted 8 lessons and a test, paid up front, cash. Radar flapping when i found out he had to do an extended test!! which meant he had been banned at some point. Prior to becoming a driving instructor i worked for plod as a 999 dispatcher, so i had a word with some friends. Turns out this chap had been the getaway driver in a robbery, led the police on a lengthy pursuit before dumping his passangers and then crashing into a police car !!!! I was his first port of call after getting out (turns out i had got his lads girlfriend through her test). Nicest bloke ever, wonderful driver, very safe. passed with no errors, so confident he left a thank you card under the drivers seat before starting the test !!!
 
My best 'pupil' was a chap, mid 30's,big tough chap. wanted 8 lessons and a test, paid up front, cash. Radar flapping when i found out he had to do an extended test!! which meant he had been banned at some point. Prior to becoming a driving instructor i worked for plod as a 999 dispatcher, so i had a word with some friends. Turns out this chap had been the getaway driver in a robbery, led the police on a lengthy pursuit before dumping his passangers and then crashing into a police car !!!! I was his first port of call after getting out (turns out i had got his lads girlfriend through her test). Nicest bloke ever, wonderful driver, very safe. passed with no errors, so confident he left a thank you card under the drivers seat before starting the test !!!
There's hope for my daughter then!
 
Not my driving test, but an advanced police refresher whilst in Customs.
For some asinine reason, senior management decided that a bunch of the oldish and reckless highly safety orientated surveillance drivers should be sent on refresher courses, as it was deemed that some amongst us had retained too many bad habits from the good old days of live drugs runs.
Apparently, it was deemed that whilst ramming a transit van with a load of Class A driven by a south london scrote off the road was acceptable*, times had changed, drugs work had been transferred to SOCA and similar tactics employed on a dodgy VAT fraudster accountant with a dubious attache case were a bit of a no no.
Much grumbling ensued to no avail and we were sent on our merry way to assorted police driving schools , naturally being London based my destination was a very, very rural one.
It actually turned out to be a brilliant four weeks, excellent instructors and I learnt a hell of a lot,but there was always the nagging doubt of the final test which was a simple pass or fail and according to the course bumph it would last about 60-75 minutes depending on weather conditions etc etc.
I drew the short straw and went first at 09:00 after carefully fastening my rising sun bandana and bidding my shivering colleague Del a cheery " See ya in an hour or so".
One conked out car on the motorway and a replacement with faulty blues and two's later, I returned at about 11:30 to pass on the good news to Del that it was his turn now.
Feck knows how but we both passed, presumably cos the test took so long and the driving school was charging mega wedge .
* The terminology used in Court was " I placed my vehicle in a blocking position and a collision occured".
 
My 'favourite' pupil, was a Busty 17yr old lass who started lessons at the beginning of summer, excellent driver, but did insist on wearing 'flimsy' outfits that left little to the imagination. In the end i had to have a word with mum because it was getting daft, and very distracting. Although she did dress to impress on her test day - flew through, no errors, just co-incidence though
 
Not driving test but driving cadre... we had this thing where we would go off each day and drive round der vaterland until 'naafi break' when we all arrived at the Paderborn Toc H for tea and cakes etc. Three or four Series land rovers, instructors and a dozen-ish trainees.

One day, our team, first out thought it would be good to 'modify' the last group's vehicle (electrically). Under the bonnet was a junction/fuse box thingy with a number of spade connectors along each side. Within a nano second not one of those spade connectors was on its original spade.

Oh such fun... the fall out was mega as the vehicle had to be recovered back to Allenbrooke and unravelling the spaghetti was at the upper end of our LAD's ability. How those involved managed to keep their cadre places is still a mystery.
 
Doesn't matter to me whether I am still alive or not.

But everebode else will still kno.

Winker.

Er... What exactly will everebode else will still kno?
I'm intrigued. Do tell me old love.
If you were to die before this year's SPOTY award nominations were announced, what would our fellow arrsers still know?
The drunken ramblings of an old fool perhaps?

Fight, fight everybody, Friday night fight and the pubs are still open.
 
Way back when, a pal (RAF Firefighter) went down town to take motor bike test. Knackered old BSA of some such, told to start and ride off. Kicks it up where upon it bursts into flames, our hero dropped
burning bike and ran away.



CFB
 
The one that made me quit, was an Indian lady, a Doctor, who lived some distance from where she worked, so needed to commute to the hospital. The first lesson saw her try to pull out of a side road without slowing,indicating or looking (Dual controls thankfully) - once on the main road she stayed in first gear and just put her foot down !! All the time taking no notice of traffic, I took her home and told her husband to move nearer the hospital !!!
 
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