driving licence in a firefight!!!

have just read an after telic action report. well done to the driver who onloaded a digger to clear roadblocks while a fierce firefight was going on. not so well done to the mp who got up in the middle of this firefight to demand to see his driving licence. i wonder where he was told to go?

you couldn't make it up.

 

Where's Dogmonkey when you need a characteristically "diplomatic" answer to this one?  :-/

In fact I heard rumours that we were only in Iraq for a bit of "parades, bands, and bunting" until our doggers told Saddam he was a tad overweight and his daughters looked like Ali G, that Chemical Ali didn't know his WMD from his elbow, "Comical Ali" was employed either by Downing St or the MoD but he couldn't work out which, and the Republican Guard had no sense of "G3 snobbery" . Only then did relations "go the way of the pear"!  

 

Clearly bollocks.

'Fierce firefight' / 'RMP'.  Same sentence.  I think not.

Have to say, the RMP we had attached to us (in particular for prisoner handling / processing were top blokes, but then they came from the north-east).

But just in case, if it really did happen.  

'Gunner.  Coax on.  Next target left, tree-swinger.  LOADED FIRE'

Diplomatic enough?

 

Someone clearly did.

Must be an urban legand.

 

An elderly QM, pissed on port in the mess once told me a similar story of MP dogmatism. It seems the said QM, when a young Lcpl and on exercise, was put on guard duty near the military part of Brookwood cemetary one night during the small hours. After a while the young QM to be heard a bit of noise coming from the cemetary and looked over the wall. Hardly believing his eyes he saw a skeleton wrestling with a gravestone and with a heave and a clatter dragged it bodily out of the ground, hoisted it onto his shoulder and made off with it. Whilst the young QM to be was wondering how to phrase his report on the matter, the skeleton came striding by still with the gravestone on his shoulder. Summoning up his courage the young QM to be challenged the skeleton and asked why he was carrying a gravestone on his shoulder.

















That c unt on the gate wouldnt let me out without me id card, replied the skeleton striding into the darkness.

 

As monket p*ss takes go, the story of the skeleton is a classic. Wish there were more in that vein

 

I witnessed a QRF being deployed to a confirmed IED in NI. On reaching the base gate the section commander leapt out, halted the traffic and beckoned his two landrovers forward. At which point he was intercepted by an MP in the full monty of best boots and red cap complete with casually handled smg, who was clutching his police notebook. Said idiot then proceeded to try and grip the section commander for what he had just done. Apart from the issue of plain common sense the MP clearly did not know the first thing about the law as it pertained to operations in NI at all. I have a long standing aversion to the military police which I frequently articulate in the this forum. But it is not without very good reason. On operations they are generally speaking a liability.

 

Total fabrication. I operated with the RMP out of Blair's Yard and I don't recall any best bib and tucker on ops.
I am sure there are plenty of true stories about RMP officiousness without resorting to making one up, it does you no credit.

 

TBF I saw les singes in No 2s in the province, can't remember which tour thobut.

 

Fcuking Pap!

 

Fair do's, my error. Still think Duffdike's post wreaks of fevered imagination though.