driving licence in a firefight!!!

[quiller]

have just read an after telic action report. well done to the driver who onloaded a digger to clear roadblocks while a fierce firefight was going on. not so well done to the mp who got up in the middle of this firefight to demand to see his driving licence. i wonder where he was told to go?

you couldn't make it up.

 

[woopert]

Where's Dogmonkey when you need a characteristically "diplomatic" answer to this one?  :-/

In fact I heard rumours that we were only in Iraq for a bit of "parades, bands, and bunting" until our doggers told Saddam he was a tad overweight and his daughters looked like Ali G, that Chemical Ali didn't know his WMD from his elbow, "Comical Ali" was employed either by Downing St or the MoD but he couldn't work out which, and the Republican Guard had no sense of "G3 snobbery" . Only then did relations "go the way of the pear"!  

 

[dogmonkey]

Clearly bollocks.

'Fierce firefight' / 'RMP'.  Same sentence.  I think not.

Have to say, the RMP we had attached to us (in particular for prisoner handling / processing were top blokes, but then they came from the north-east).

But just in case, if it really did happen.  

'Gunner.  Coax on.  Next target left, tree-swinger.  LOADED FIRE'

Diplomatic enough?

 

[Mr Happy]

Sounds like a STAB RMP, civ job Met Police...

 

[Werewolf]

have just read an after telic action report. well done to the driver who onloaded a digger to clear roadblocks while a fierce firefight was going on. not so well done to the mp who got up in the middle of this firefight to demand to see his driving licence. i wonder where he was told to go?

you couldn't make it up.

Someone clearly did.

Must be an urban legand.

 

[eodmatt]

An elderly QM, pissed on port in the mess once told me a similar story of MP dogmatism. It seems the said QM, when a young Lcpl and on exercise, was put on guard duty near the military part of Brookwood cemetary one night during the small hours. After a while the young QM to be heard a bit of noise coming from the cemetary and looked over the wall. Hardly believing his eyes he saw a skeleton wrestling with a gravestone and with a heave and a clatter dragged it bodily out of the ground, hoisted it onto his shoulder and made off with it. Whilst the young QM to be was wondering how to phrase his report on the matter, the skeleton came striding by still with the gravestone on his shoulder. Summoning up his courage the young QM to be challenged the skeleton and asked why he was carrying a gravestone on his shoulder.

















That c unt on the gate wouldnt let me out without me id card, replied the skeleton striding into the darkness.

 

[OldRedCap]

As monket p*ss takes go, the story of the skeleton is a classic. Wish there were more in that vein

 

[duffdike]

I witnessed a QRF being deployed to a confirmed IED in NI. On reaching the base gate the section commander leapt out, halted the traffic and beckoned his two landrovers forward. At which point he was intercepted by an MP in the full monty of best boots and red cap complete with casually handled smg, who was clutching his police notebook. Said idiot then proceeded to try and grip the section commander for what he had just done. Apart from the issue of plain common sense the MP clearly did not know the first thing about the law as it pertained to operations in NI at all. I have a long standing aversion to the military police which I frequently articulate in the this forum. But it is not without very good reason. On operations they are generally speaking a liability.

 

[Forastero]

And the last time you deployed was when?

 

[Markintime]

I witnessed a QRF being deployed to a confirmed IED in NI. On reaching the base gate the section commander leapt out, halted the traffic and beckoned his two landrovers forward. At which point he was intercepted by an MP in the full monty of best boots and red cap complete with casually handled smg, who was clutching his police notebook. Said idiot then proceeded to try and grip the section commander for what he had just done. Apart from the issue of plain common sense the MP clearly did not know the first thing about the law as it pertained to operations in NI at all. I have a long standing aversion to the military police which I frequently articulate in the this forum. But it is not without very good reason. On operations they are generally speaking a liability.

Total fabrication. I operated with the RMP out of Blair's Yard and I don't recall any best bib and tucker on ops.
I am sure there are plenty of true stories about RMP officiousness without resorting to making one up, it does you no credit.

 

[PE4rocks]

I witnessed a QRF being deployed to a confirmed IED in NI. On reaching the base gate the section commander leapt out, halted the traffic and beckoned his two landrovers forward. At which point he was intercepted by an MP in the full monty of best boots and red cap complete with casually handled smg, who was clutching his police notebook. Said idiot then proceeded to try and grip the section commander for what he had just done. Apart from the issue of plain common sense the MP clearly did not know the first thing about the law as it pertained to operations in NI at all. I have a long standing aversion to the military police which I frequently articulate in the this forum. But it is not without very good reason. On operations they are generally speaking a liability.

Total fabrication. I operated with the RMP out of Blair's Yard and I don't recall any best bib and tucker on ops.
I am sure there are plenty of true stories about RMP officiousness without resorting to making one up, it does you no credit.

TBF I saw les singes in No 2s in the province, can't remember which tour thobut.

 

[ugly]

RMP did patrol in No2 dress for a while but then again we also deployed snatch squads in red PT vests and daps!
I have seen the pictures and watched the TV, I grew up with it, joined up and deployed!

 

[GordonBrown]

I witnessed a QRF being deployed to a confirmed IED in NI. On reaching the base gate the section commander leapt out, halted the traffic and beckoned his two landrovers forward. At which point he was intercepted by an MP in the full monty of best boots and red cap complete with casually handled smg, who was clutching his police notebook. Said idiot then proceeded to try and grip the section commander for what he had just done. Apart from the issue of plain common sense the MP clearly did not know the first thing about the law as it pertained to operations in NI at all. I have a long standing aversion to the military police which I frequently articulate in the this forum. But it is not without very good reason. On operations they are generally speaking a liability.

Fcuking Pap!

 

[Markintime]

TBF I saw les singes in No 2s in the province, can't remember which tour thobut.

RMP did patrol in No2 dress for a while but then again we also deployed snatch squads in red PT vests and daps!
I have seen the pictures and watched the TV, I grew up with it, joined up and deployed!

Fair do's, my error. Still think Duffdike's post wreaks of fevered imagination though.

 

[ugly]

Possibly!

 

[Markintime]

If only Duffdike had had the bottle to write an article to the Independent about this incident then we would have had a record.

 

[Busterdog]

RMP DID go out in No2 Dress in NI in the very early 1970s - though seldom in 'hot' areas - it wasn't their job.
I served in NI throughout the 70s - including the early tours during the riots - NEVER saw any snatch teams dressed in PT vest and gutties.

There WERE some stupid orders given to soldiers during the early tours - I remember a RSM baying "Put your hat on!!" to a Jock riding 'top cover' in an open landrover speeding down Springfield Road in 'Hot Pursuit' after a shooting.

Was never in a location with RMP - except an 18 monther in Palace - they would arrive on the scene after an 'incident' or when we had a 'find'. Generally good cheerful lads. There was a feeling of camaraderie among most troops 'on the ground' regardless of capbadge. The RMP were like all units - some good, some tossers.

 

[Aloysius]

Funny that - when I got mobilized for Telic 2 (not even for a driving role) before I reported for duty I was given instructions to go to the AA office in London and get hold of the right international licences to allow me to drive in Kuwait and Iraq. So we're occupying their country, but I still have to have the right papers in case Saddam's traffic police stop me?

 

[Punch]

RMP in No 2 dress "walked the beat" alongside RUC officers for a short time during the "Honeymoon" period of 1968/9. It was an attempt at an early Hearts and Minds operation but was in fact daft and naive and simply gave the locals some amusement and the terrorists time to organise. In most cases no weapons were carried and only carefully selected areas were patrolled.
The RMP's enjoyed chatting up the female RUC officers however - and one or two even got further!

 

[duffdike]

They did it every time there was an outbreak of peace. 1975 cease fire was one period. They just loved it. Day 1. No2 dress and big boots. Plus BFO hat.