Drippy Dicks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by nobbyd, Oct 24, 2012.

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  1. BBC Three now - part 1 of 4 of a clap clinic documentary.

    Anyone got any funny or unusual dick doc stories? I managed to get the phone number and a date with a lady ambulance driver I knew when I was sitting in the GU waiting room of the hospital I was working at.
     
  2. Come on you old and Bold ex sappers and other survivors from Operation Crown, there are still enuf 16 com field ambulance living in the the southern counties all with fond memories of your multiple drippy dicks, oh what stories we could tell, brandnew whitey from blighty MO taking his first drippy dick parade, so sapper whats your complaint, I have gonorrhea sir was the reply! I make the diagnosis Sapper, But Sir I have had 3times before! was the sappers reply!!
     
  3. I go for a piss at work, think I've finished, but find a bit of urine running out after I've left the bogs. It could be old age, or maybe it's down to the above average length, I'm not sure!
     
  4. An NCO at my base in The Midlands went to the dispensary with a drippy dick. Our doc took care of him and did a questionnaire. Seems he was only doing one partner, a civilian downtown. Doc told him to get her into a civilian doctor to get the problem taken care of. Time marches on and the NCO reappears with another does from the same girlfriend. Doc sits him down and gets really serious with him. "Have it treated! Understand?" Same scene sometime further down the line. "Well, it's not as though you weren't warned, and now your having trouble passing urine because of the scar tissue," said the doctor in a threatening tone.

    The treatment was a urethral scraper (I don't know the technical term). Doc inserted it into the man's cock and told him to get a firm grip on the table then withdrew it in what was described as pulling the starting rope on a small gasoline engine, though I doubt it was that vigourous.

    The scream could be heard far and wide.

    The doctor called him in for a follow up and gave him a clean bill of health. Apparently his girlfriend was either dropped or cured. Our NCO most certainly was cured.

    [As related to me by a friendly corpsman.]
     
  5. I was lead to believe the scrapeing umbrella is/was an urban myth (maybe in Medeivel times) certainly a GUM Nurse said it was bollocks ususally the threat of such a device was enough to put all but the most persistant shaggers off.
    A cotton bud swab certainly brings a tear to ones eye but I doubt the medical efficiency of scrapping very delicate skin for what is a bacterial/viral infection.
     
  6. The medics at 24 Fd Amb used to do two week stints at the GUM clinic at the DKMH in Catterick, from the tales they came back with the Sgt who ran the clinic probably caused more infections than any amount of shagging behind the Scorp did. Never washed his hands between patients, didn't use new, sterilized equipment between patients and apparently would go from treating a dripping dick to eating his sandwiches without washing his hands. :pukel:

    Not long after I joined up and whilst still being quite naive and pure of thought, I was on reception at the QEMH in Woolwich, checking in people attending Outpatient appointments. Absolutely charming Chelsea Pensioner rocks up, about 5'4", just the sort of person you'd expect to play the Grandad on some homespun slippers-by-the-fire television programme. After a little chat, I asks him what clinic he's attending, expecting Rheumatology or Ophthalmology... no, "I'm here for the Clap Clinic, I've got syph..."
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. You are telling porkies or are very old. They havent used that treatment since the 1950's!
     
  8. I was in Belize in 1996 and had the honour of visiting Rauls Rose Garden and enjoying its many pleasures. Now I was a young man and this was my first time with a hooker (I took to it like a duck to water!)

    About two months after my return to the UK I start to notice these strange spots around my cock and on my lower stomach. I go sick and the MO doesnt have a clue so sends me to specialist. This specialist takes one look at the offending spots and gets all excited, acting like he has won the fucking lottery!

    He says "What you have here young man is Molluscum Contagiosum"

    I say "What the fuck is that and is it going to kill me?"

    He laughs "No, its quite harmless and easy to treat. Where have you been?"

    I answer "Belize"

    He laughs again "Been to the Rose Garden have we? This is very rare young man and I need to ask a favour. I am writing a medical book and would love to take a picture of your genitals, is that ok?

    So; Im stood there naked while this guy is taking pics of my meat and two veg. I wish I had asked what the book was going to be called. My balls are famous!

    It was easy treated though, some of my later doses were not!!!!
     
  9. I don't think I ever met a Chelsea Pensioner that didn't make me grin. There was one old guy I was sent to pick up and bring down to Keogh for Sgts Mess functions a few times. He used to have me in tears every time with his tales, I had to get into the hard shoulder once I was laughing so hard, and forever trying to give me "petrol money and a drink for your trouble".

    I wish I could remember his name, lovely bloke
     
  10. After a 4 day marathon sex session with a fat ginger moose from Leeds, I had a dose of firey piss. Went to the clap clinic and the nurse shoved the cotton bud thingy down my pisser, twizzed it round and yanked it out.....

    Fucking heaven. The nurses eyebrow raised clear off her head when I asked her to do it again...I'd been trying to scratch that fucking itch for ages.

    Turned out that I'd split the tube giving rise to NSU.
     
  11. Floats like a butterfly, stings like my pee.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  12. I am just "old," not "very old" to my way of thinking. The story was related about 1965 but i have no idea when it allegedly happened.

    This isn't a drippy dick story, but close and told to me by the "victim."

    Tripoli, Libya (ca. 1963) - A chap I worked with in the phone exchange was a bit out of sorts so we got after him to talk to us. He'd been to see the doctors and they told him he had phimosis [too tight a foreskin] and needed to be clipped. He was not at all happy about the prospects.

    A few days later he came back to duty grinning from ear to ear. He said after the minor surgery he was in bed when he lifted the sheet and found he was bleeding rather heavily so rang for the nure. She brought in a dressing tray and re-dressed his dick, cleaning up the mess. After she left, and still thinking of the vision of loveliness, he got a raging erection and the bleeding began again. About the third time the nurse phoned the doctor - who'd gone off duty and lived off base - and he gave new instructions.

    The nurse came back to his bed pushing a cart, closed the curtains around his bed, changed the dressing, then clamped her hand around his cock applying direct pressure to stop the bleeding. With the other hand she removed the cover from the cart which contained a tray of sandwiches and a couple of pitchers of juice.

    Se he lay there, flat on his back, with a dishy nurse squeezing his crank and they made smalltalk.

    Sometime later he said they had met a couple of times downtown. He regretted having but one foreskin to give for his country.
     
  13. Photo for his private collection, book, hahahahaha.
     
  14. After a day of pissing fire I was all set to go to clap clinic. Day of the visit came, went for morning piss which started off worse than ever until in absolute agony I pissed out half a dozen pieces of gravel. The relief both physical and emotional was palpable.
     
  15. Caught chlamydia when I was 21 from a 'lovely' Bridlington girl, it wasn't even a great shag either, a drunken fumble at the end of a night out. Started to sting when I went for a piss after a few days & then my cheb end was dripping constantly. Went to the GUM clinic with an eternal look of shame on my face where the doctor pushed a swab down my japs eye which stung worse than the chlamydia, then made me give a piss sample which burned even more after the swab. Also tested me for AIDS and everything else which had me sweating a bit till the results came back. Penicillin cleared that job up though! Character building...