drinking songs

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by littlenickoutthere, Jun 28, 2008.

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  1. just thought there should be a thread for em all. go on let em rip
     
  2. The seven drunken nights, by the dubliners. would post a link but Im hung over so can't be arrsed
     
  3. What do we do when we leave the Army?
    What do we do when we leave the Army?
    What do we do when we leave the Army?
    Earl'y in the morning.

    Run like fcuk to the nearest station!
    Run like fcuk to the nearest station!
    Run like fcuk to the nearest station!
    Earl'y in the morning.

    What do we do when we leave the station?
    What do we do when we leave the station?
    What do we do when we leave the station?
    Earl'y in the morning.

    Run like fcuk to the nearest alehouse!
    Run like fcuk to the nearest alehouse!
    Run like fcuk to the nearest alehouse!
    Earl'y in the morning.

    [Chorus with gusto]
    Hooray and up she rises,
    Hooray and up she rises,
    Hooray and up she rises,
    Earl'y in the morning.

    What do we do when we're in the alehouse?
    What do we do when we're in the alehouse?
    What do we do when we're in the alehouse?
    Earl'y in the morning.

    Raise a glass to the British Soldier!
    Raise a glass to the British Soldier!
    Raise a glass to the British Soldier!
    Earl'y in the morning.

    [Chorus with gusto]
    Hooray and up she rises,
    Hooray and up she rises,
    Hooray and up she rises,
    Earl'y in the morning.

    What do we do when the alehouse closes?
    What do we do when the alehouse closes?
    What do we do when the alehouse closes?
    Earl'y in the morning.

    Run like fcuk to the nearest whorehouse!
    Run like fcuk to the nearest whorehouse!
    Run like fcuk to the nearest whorehouse!
    Earl'y in the morning.

    [Chorus with gusto]
    Hooray and up she rises!
    Hooray and up she rises!
    Hooray and up she rises!
    Earl'y in the morning.

    What do we do when theres no more money?
    What do we do when theres no more money?
    What do we do when theres no more money?
    Earl'y in the morning.

    Go back home and face the missus
    Go back home and face the missus
    Go back home and face the missus
    Earl'y in the morning.

    [Chorus with gusto]
    Hooray and up she rises!
    Hooray and up she rises!
    Hooray and up she rises!
    Earl'y in the morning.

    What do we do when shes 3 months pregnant?
    What do we do when shes 3 months pregnant?
    What do we do when shes 3 months pregnant?
    Earl'y in the morning.

    Run like fcuk to the British Army!
    Run like fcuk to the British Army!
    Run like fcuk to the British Army!
    Earl'y in the morning.

    i think theres more than that but as i'm normally pis sed when singing it i could be wrong. :p
     
  4. 'The Mayor of Bayswater' (and his lovely daughter) was always a big favourite. Mind you, I never did find out what her 'dicky dido' was.
     
  5. this is a superb drinking song:


    Rammstein

    Translation
    Be friendly!
    Jawoll!
    Be friendly I said!
    Jawoll!
    Be friendly I said again!
    Jawoll!
    (You can offer me another wheat bear)

    refrain:
    we are bavarians (etc...)
    bavaria and the bavarian beer.
    bavaria and the german purity law
    this is our liquid bread."
     
  6. It's no drinking song, but sth. we say before we drink:

    Zur Mitte zur Titte,
    zum Sack zack zack
    An den Kopf, in den Kopf
    neeeeiiiiin,
    wie sind wir zusammengekommen?
    Sternförmig!
    Wie gehen wir auseinander?
    Sternhagelvoll!
    Und wieso machen wir das?
    Weil wir so sexy sind!
    prost

    Translation:
    To the middle, to the boobies,
    to the dick, hick hick
    to the head, into the head
    nooooo
    how we met?
    like a star
    how we leave?
    drunken like stars
    and why do we all that
    because we're so sexy!
    prost/skoll/cheers
     
  7. as this is the NAAFI i can get away with the following :lol:


    She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (kind of :lol: )

    She wore she wore she wore a yellow ribbon
    She wore it in the springtime, in the merry month of May
    And if you ask her why the fcuk she wears it
    She wears it for her fusilier who is far, far away.

    Far away Far away
    Too far to fcuk
    She wore it for her fusilier who's far far away

    She took it she took it she took it up the ars ehole
    she took it up the ars ehole in the merry month of may
    and if you asked why the fcuk she took it
    She took it for her fusilier who's far far away

    Her sister her sister her sister had a gangbang
    Her sister had a gangbang in the merry month of May
    and if you asked why the fcuk she did it
    she did it for the fusiliers who were far far away

    Far away Far away
    Too far to fcuk
    She did it for the fusiliers who are far far away

    She pushed she pushed she pushed a perambulator
    she pushes a perambulator in the merry month of May
    and if you asked why the fcuk she pushed it
    she pushed it for her fusilier who's far far away

    Far away Far away
    Too far to fcuk
    She pushed it for her fusilier who's far far away

    Her mother her mother her mother gave them blowjobs
    her mother gave them blowjobs in the merry month of May
    and if you asked why the fcuk she gave them
    she gave them for the fusiliers who were far far away

    Far away Far away
    Too far to fcuk
    She gave them for the fusiliers who are far far away

    Her father her father her father keeps a shotgun
    her father keeps a shotgun from the merry month of May
    and if you asked him why the fcuk he keeps it
    he keeps it for ALL fusiliers who are far far away

    Far away Far away
    Too far to fcuk
    He keeps it for ALL fusiliers who are far far away

    i think i got the words right again i'm currently sober so may have missed a few :lol:
     
  8. To the tune of "Anchors aweigh"

    "We are the Middlesex
    Diehards are we
    Fighting through blood and slaughter
    Fighting for the colonel's daughter,

    We are the Middlesex
    Diehards are we
    Fighting for king and country
    Fight! You bastards
    Fight! You bastards
    Fight! Fight! Fight!"
     
  9. ON THE FIRST DAY OF TELIC
    On the first day of Telic,
    my true love gave to me:
    A hand job that wasn't worth a fcuk, (WORTH A FCUK.)

    On the second day of Telic,
    my true love gave to me:
    two herpy sores, and
    A hand job that wasn't worth a fcuk, (WORTH A FCUK.)

    three french whores
    four flying fucks:
    FIVE PUBIC HAIRS
    six Sixty-Niners
    seven sleazy sisters
    eight aching assholes
    nine nympho nuns
    ten tonness of titties
    eleven licking lesbos
    twelve twitching tw*ts


    Tampon Factory

    You can tell by the smell,
    that she isn’t very well.
    When the time of the month comes around.
    You can tell by the stain
    that she really is in pain.
    When the time of the month comes around.

    Chorus
    It’s a jamboree, it’s the tampon factory.
    Shout out your order load and clear.
    They have small medium large,
    Super duper fill the barge
    When the time of the month comes around.

    verses consisting of...

    You can tell by the stench
    That something’s rotten in her trench

    You can tell by the crust
    She won’t want you to thrust

    You can tell by the rope
    That you haven’t got a hope.

    You can tell by her frown
    That you’ll have to go for brown

    You can tell by the moaning
    That she’s leaking hemoglobin

    You can tell by the flies
    That are swarming round her thighs

    You can tell by the taste
    that it isn’t salmon paste.

    It will stick to your dick
    If you don’t fcuk her real quick.

    You can make her thingy sing
    Just by pulling on the string.

    Sit On My Face

    Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.
    Sit on my face and I’ll tell you I love you too.
    I love to here you oralize,
    When I’m between your thighs,
    You blow me away!

    Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
    I’ll sit on your face and then our love will be
    true.
    Life can be fine is we all 69
    If we sit on our faces,

    And all sorts of places and play…
    We’ll be blown a way.

    Bruces' Philosophers Song

    Emmanuel Kant was a real pissant
    Who was very rarely stable.
    Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
    Who could drink you under the table.
    David Hume could out-consume
    Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.
    And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
    Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
    There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya,
    'bout the raising of the wrist,
    Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
    John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
    On half a pint of shanty was particularly ill,
    Plato, they say, could stick it away,
    Half a crate of whisky every day.
    Aristotle, Aristotle, was a bugger for the bottle,
    Hobbs was fond of his dram,
    And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
    "I drink, therefore I am."
    Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
    A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
     
  10. (Sung to the tune of "Wallaby Song")

    CHORUS:Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best.
    Fuck a wallaby!
    Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best.
    Fuck a wallaby!

    Blow your rocks in an ox boys, blow your rocks in an ox.
    Fuck a wallaby!
    Blow your rocks in an ox boys, blow your rocks in an ox.
    Fuck a wallaby!

    In the spunk of a skunk boys, in the spunk of a skunk.
    Fuck a wallaby!
    In the spunk of a skunk boys, in the spunk of a skunk.
    Fuck a wallaby!

    In the rear of a deer boys, in the rear of a deer.
    Fuck a wallaby!
    In the rear of a deer boys, in the rear of a deer.
    Fuck a wallaby!

    Litrally hundreds of verses, and you can make up your own.
     
  11. YesItsMe

    YesItsMe LE Good Egg (charities)

    We'll drink the drink to drink
    To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
    The saviour of the human race
    She invented medicinal compound
    She was efficacious in every case

    Mr Fleers had sticky out ears
    And it made him awful shy
    So they gave him medicinal compound
    Now he's learning how to fly

    Rubber Tony was known to be boney
    He would never eat his meals
    So they gave him medicinal compound
    Now they move him round on wheels

    We'll drink the drink to drink
    To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
    The saviour of the human race
    She invented medicinal compound
    She was efficacious in every case

    Ebenezer thought he was Julius Ceasar
    So they put him in a home
    Where they gave him medicinal compound
    Now he's Emperor of Rome

    Johnny Hammer had a terrible s-stammer
    He could hardly s-say a word
    So they gave him medicinal compound
    Now he's seen, but never heard

    Anty Millie ran willy-nilly
    And her legs, they did recede
    So they looked up medicinal compound
    Now they call her Millipede

    Jennifer Eccles had terrible freckles
    And all the boys called her names
    But she changed with medicinal compound
    Now she joins in all the games

    We'll drink the drink to drink
    To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
    The saviour of the human race
    She invented medicinal compound
    She was efficacious in every case

    Lilly, the pink, she turned to drink
    She filled up the bar with everything in sight
    And in spite her medicinal compound
    Sadly, pickle-Lilly died

    Up to Heaven, her soul assended
    All the church bells, they did ring
    She took with her medicinal compound
    Hark the herald angel sing

    We'll drink the drink to drink
    To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
    The saviour of the human race
    She invented medicinal compound
    She was efficacious in every case
     
  12. All variations on what "an engineer told me before he died"

    Father Abraham, best done naked before an audience of pi$$ed and slightly bemused spams

    I don't want to join the army
    I don't want to go to war
    I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground
    Living of the earnings of a high class lady
    I don't want a bayonet up me arsehole
    I don't want me bollocks shot away (shot awaaaay)
    I'd rather be in England
    Merry merry England
    And fornicate my fuckin' life away (cor blimey)

    Monday I touched her on the ankle
    Tuesday I touched her on the knee
    On Wednesday I confess I lifted up her dress
    On Thursday I saw it (cor blimey)
    Friday I put my hand upon it
    Saturday she gave my balls a swing (balls a swiiiing)
    And Sunday after supper I rammed me fucker up her
    And now I'm paying seven and six a week (cor blimey)

    I don't want to join the Navy.
    I don't want to go to sea.
    I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground,
    Living on the earnings of a high born lady.
    I don't need no Frenchy women,
    London's full of girls I never had.
    I want to stay in Blighty, Lord Gawd Almighty,
    Following in the footsteps of me dad.



    Loads of song lyrics here

    http://www.diamondgeezers.org.uk/sounds/lyrics/index.html
     
  13. Lyrics
    I Used to Work in Chicago
    I used to work in Chicago,
    In an old department store,
    I used to work in Chicago,
    I don't work there any more.

    A woman came in for some meat,
    Some meat from the store,
    Some meat she wanted,
    porked she got
    I don't work there any more

    you can then use the following or make up more:

    glazed doughnut she wanted. cream filled she got
    brass taps she wanted, golden shower she got
    Beefeater Gin she wanted, eat her I did
    quick service she wanted, quickly serviced she got
    ground coffee she wanted, grind her I did
    jumper she wanted, jump her I did
    liquor she wanted, lick her I did
    elevator she wanted, my shaft she got
    carpet she wanted, deep shag she got
    hammer she wanted, nailed she got
    gun she wanted, banged she got
    watering can she wanted, hosed she got
    floppy disk she wanted, hard drive she got
    velvet she wanted, felt she got
    liquor she wanted, lick her I did
    bolts she wanted, my nuts she got
    sailors she wanted, semen she got
    ham she wanted, porked she got
    cigarette she wanted, my pipe she got
    pipe she wanted, hosed she got
    Plumber she wanted, pipes cleaned she got
    butter she wante, spread she got
    seafood she wanted, crabs she got
    carpet she wanted, shag she got
    nail she wanted, screw she got
    fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got
    helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got
    translator she wanted, cunning linguist she got
    KitKat she wanted, four fingers she got
    Irish airlilne ticket from the store, Air Lingus she wanted, cunnilingus she got
    a hand she wanted, fisted she got
    diamond choker she wanted, pearl necklace she got
    lobster thermidor she wanted, creamed clam she got
    German method of coal extraction she wanted, mine shaft she got
    duck she wanted, I misunderstood
    Open cast coal mine she wanted, deep shaft she got
    A ruler she wanted, 12 inches she got
    Some lettuce she wanted, head she got!
    An O Henry she wanted, Mr. Big she got!
    A Big Mac she wanted, a Whopper she got
    A screen door she wanted, slammed she got!
    Some fireworks she wanted, banged she got!
    A Big Mac she wanted, super-sized she got!
    Some Pringles she wanted, the pop she got!
    Some tile she wanted, laid she got!
    A vacuum she wanted, sucked she got!
    Some dinner she wanted, ate out she got!
    A lollipop she wanted, licked she got!
    Some Shakespeare she wanted, Dickens she got!
    piano she wanted, my organ she got
    chips she wanted, lays she got
    racoon she wanted, my beaver she got
    carpet she wanted, rugburn she got
    muscle car she wanted, my hot rod she got
    pickle she wanted, my cucumber she got
    a hat she wanted, my helmet she got.
    a damp cat she wanted, wet pussy she got.
    chair leg she wanted, table ends she got.
    turkey she wanted, gobbles she got.
    Barbecue she wanted, spit roast she got
    Fabric she wanted, felt she got
    Cake from the store, layer she wanted, lay her I did
    Truck she wanted, Rammed she got
    tire she wanted, rimmed she got
    basketball she wanted, hooped she got
    Sea Cat she wanted, wet pussy she got
    Sprite she wanted, 7-Up she got
    Flag she wanted, jolly roger she got
    Ford she wanted, probe she got
     
  14. Just remebered one-unlikely to be performed now in these PC days, but reproduced for historical interest

    Sambo was al lazy coon
    Used to sleep in the afternoon
    So tired was he (so tired was he)
    Off to the jungle he would go
    Swinging his chopper to and fro
    When along came a bee (A what?)
    A fukkin great bee

    "Fly away you bumble bee I ain't no rose
    I ain't no syphillis tree, get off my fukkin nose
    Get off my nasal organ I ain't no queer
    If you want some fanny you can fuk my granny but there ain't no arse 'oles here"

    Arse holes rule the Navy
    Arse holes rule the navy
    Arse holes ruuuuuuule the navy
    But there ain't no arse hole here

    Brylcream rules the Air Force etc

    Bullshit rules the Army
    Bullshit rules the army
    Bullshit ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuules the army
    and ther's plenty of bullshit here