drinking songs

#3
What do we do when we leave the Army?
What do we do when we leave the Army?
What do we do when we leave the Army?
Earl'y in the morning.

Run like fcuk to the nearest station!
Run like fcuk to the nearest station!
Run like fcuk to the nearest station!
Earl'y in the morning.

What do we do when we leave the station?
What do we do when we leave the station?
What do we do when we leave the station?
Earl'y in the morning.

Run like fcuk to the nearest alehouse!
Run like fcuk to the nearest alehouse!
Run like fcuk to the nearest alehouse!
Earl'y in the morning.

[Chorus with gusto]
Hooray and up she rises,
Hooray and up she rises,
Hooray and up she rises,
Earl'y in the morning.

What do we do when we're in the alehouse?
What do we do when we're in the alehouse?
What do we do when we're in the alehouse?
Earl'y in the morning.

Raise a glass to the British Soldier!
Raise a glass to the British Soldier!
Raise a glass to the British Soldier!
Earl'y in the morning.

[Chorus with gusto]
Hooray and up she rises,
Hooray and up she rises,
Hooray and up she rises,
Earl'y in the morning.

What do we do when the alehouse closes?
What do we do when the alehouse closes?
What do we do when the alehouse closes?
Earl'y in the morning.

Run like fcuk to the nearest whorehouse!
Run like fcuk to the nearest whorehouse!
Run like fcuk to the nearest whorehouse!
Earl'y in the morning.

[Chorus with gusto]
Hooray and up she rises!
Hooray and up she rises!
Hooray and up she rises!
Earl'y in the morning.

What do we do when theres no more money?
What do we do when theres no more money?
What do we do when theres no more money?
Earl'y in the morning.

Go back home and face the missus
Go back home and face the missus
Go back home and face the missus
Earl'y in the morning.

[Chorus with gusto]
Hooray and up she rises!
Hooray and up she rises!
Hooray and up she rises!
Earl'y in the morning.

What do we do when shes 3 months pregnant?
What do we do when shes 3 months pregnant?
What do we do when shes 3 months pregnant?
Earl'y in the morning.

Run like fcuk to the British Army!
Run like fcuk to the British Army!
Run like fcuk to the British Army!
Earl'y in the morning.

i think theres more than that but as i'm normally pis sed when singing it i could be wrong. :p
 
#4
'The Mayor of Bayswater' (and his lovely daughter) was always a big favourite. Mind you, I never did find out what her 'dicky dido' was.
 
#5
this is a superb drinking song:


Rammstein

Translation
Be friendly!
Jawoll!
Be friendly I said!
Jawoll!
Be friendly I said again!
Jawoll!
(You can offer me another wheat bear)

refrain:
we are bavarians (etc...)
bavaria and the bavarian beer.
bavaria and the german purity law
this is our liquid bread."
 
#6
It's no drinking song, but sth. we say before we drink:

Zur Mitte zur Titte,
zum Sack zack zack
An den Kopf, in den Kopf
neeeeiiiiin,
wie sind wir zusammengekommen?
Sternförmig!
Wie gehen wir auseinander?
Sternhagelvoll!
Und wieso machen wir das?
Weil wir so sexy sind!
prost

Translation:
To the middle, to the boobies,
to the dick, hick hick
to the head, into the head
nooooo
how we met?
like a star
how we leave?
drunken like stars
and why do we all that
because we're so sexy!
prost/skoll/cheers
 
#7
as this is the NAAFI i can get away with the following :lol:


She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (kind of :lol: )

She wore she wore she wore a yellow ribbon
She wore it in the springtime, in the merry month of May
And if you ask her why the fcuk she wears it
She wears it for her fusilier who is far, far away.

Far away Far away
Too far to fcuk
She wore it for her fusilier who's far far away

She took it she took it she took it up the ars ehole
she took it up the ars ehole in the merry month of may
and if you asked why the fcuk she took it
She took it for her fusilier who's far far away

Her sister her sister her sister had a gangbang
Her sister had a gangbang in the merry month of May
and if you asked why the fcuk she did it
she did it for the fusiliers who were far far away

Far away Far away
Too far to fcuk
She did it for the fusiliers who are far far away

She pushed she pushed she pushed a perambulator
she pushes a perambulator in the merry month of May
and if you asked why the fcuk she pushed it
she pushed it for her fusilier who's far far away

Far away Far away
Too far to fcuk
She pushed it for her fusilier who's far far away

Her mother her mother her mother gave them blowjobs
her mother gave them blowjobs in the merry month of May
and if you asked why the fcuk she gave them
she gave them for the fusiliers who were far far away

Far away Far away
Too far to fcuk
She gave them for the fusiliers who are far far away

Her father her father her father keeps a shotgun
her father keeps a shotgun from the merry month of May
and if you asked him why the fcuk he keeps it
he keeps it for ALL fusiliers who are far far away

Far away Far away
Too far to fcuk
He keeps it for ALL fusiliers who are far far away

i think i got the words right again i'm currently sober so may have missed a few :lol:
 
#8
To the tune of "Anchors aweigh"

"We are the Middlesex
Diehards are we
Fighting through blood and slaughter
Fighting for the colonel's daughter,

We are the Middlesex
Diehards are we
Fighting for king and country
Fight! You bastards
Fight! You bastards
Fight! Fight! Fight!"
 
#9
ON THE FIRST DAY OF TELIC
On the first day of Telic,
my true love gave to me:
A hand job that wasn't worth a fcuk, (WORTH A FCUK.)

On the second day of Telic,
my true love gave to me:
two herpy sores, and
A hand job that wasn't worth a fcuk, (WORTH A FCUK.)

three french whores
four flying fucks:
FIVE PUBIC HAIRS
six Sixty-Niners
seven sleazy sisters
eight aching assholes
nine nympho nuns
ten tonness of titties
eleven licking lesbos
twelve twitching tw*ts


Tampon Factory

You can tell by the smell,
that she isn’t very well.
When the time of the month comes around.
You can tell by the stain
that she really is in pain.
When the time of the month comes around.

Chorus
It’s a jamboree, it’s the tampon factory.
Shout out your order load and clear.
They have small medium large,
Super duper fill the barge
When the time of the month comes around.

verses consisting of...

You can tell by the stench
That something’s rotten in her trench

You can tell by the crust
She won’t want you to thrust

You can tell by the rope
That you haven’t got a hope.

You can tell by her frown
That you’ll have to go for brown

You can tell by the moaning
That she’s leaking hemoglobin

You can tell by the flies
That are swarming round her thighs

You can tell by the taste
that it isn’t salmon paste.

It will stick to your dick
If you don’t fcuk her real quick.

You can make her thingy sing
Just by pulling on the string.

Sit On My Face

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.
Sit on my face and I’ll tell you I love you too.
I love to here you oralize,
When I’m between your thighs,
You blow me away!

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I’ll sit on your face and then our love will be
true.
Life can be fine is we all 69
If we sit on our faces,

And all sorts of places and play…
We’ll be blown a way.

Bruces' Philosophers Song

Emmanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could drink you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya,
'bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shanty was particularly ill,
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
Half a crate of whisky every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle, was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbs was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
 
#10
(Sung to the tune of "Wallaby Song")

CHORUS:Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best.
Fuck a wallaby!
Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best.
Fuck a wallaby!

Blow your rocks in an ox boys, blow your rocks in an ox.
Fuck a wallaby!
Blow your rocks in an ox boys, blow your rocks in an ox.
Fuck a wallaby!

In the spunk of a skunk boys, in the spunk of a skunk.
Fuck a wallaby!
In the spunk of a skunk boys, in the spunk of a skunk.
Fuck a wallaby!

In the rear of a deer boys, in the rear of a deer.
Fuck a wallaby!
In the rear of a deer boys, in the rear of a deer.
Fuck a wallaby!

Litrally hundreds of verses, and you can make up your own.
 
#11
We'll drink the drink to drink
To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
The saviour of the human race
She invented medicinal compound
She was efficacious in every case

Mr Fleers had sticky out ears
And it made him awful shy
So they gave him medicinal compound
Now he's learning how to fly

Rubber Tony was known to be boney
He would never eat his meals
So they gave him medicinal compound
Now they move him round on wheels

We'll drink the drink to drink
To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
The saviour of the human race
She invented medicinal compound
She was efficacious in every case

Ebenezer thought he was Julius Ceasar
So they put him in a home
Where they gave him medicinal compound
Now he's Emperor of Rome

Johnny Hammer had a terrible s-stammer
He could hardly s-say a word
So they gave him medicinal compound
Now he's seen, but never heard

Anty Millie ran willy-nilly
And her legs, they did recede
So they looked up medicinal compound
Now they call her Millipede

Jennifer Eccles had terrible freckles
And all the boys called her names
But she changed with medicinal compound
Now she joins in all the games

We'll drink the drink to drink
To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
The saviour of the human race
She invented medicinal compound
She was efficacious in every case

Lilly, the pink, she turned to drink
She filled up the bar with everything in sight
And in spite her medicinal compound
Sadly, pickle-Lilly died

Up to Heaven, her soul assended
All the church bells, they did ring
She took with her medicinal compound
Hark the herald angel sing

We'll drink the drink to drink
To Lilly the pink, the pink, the pink
The saviour of the human race
She invented medicinal compound
She was efficacious in every case
 
#12
All variations on what "an engineer told me before he died"

Father Abraham, best done naked before an audience of pi$$ed and slightly bemused spams

I don't want to join the army
I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground
Living of the earnings of a high class lady
I don't want a bayonet up me arsehole
I don't want me bollocks shot away (shot awaaaay)
I'd rather be in England
Merry merry England
And fornicate my fuckin' life away (cor blimey)

Monday I touched her on the ankle
Tuesday I touched her on the knee
On Wednesday I confess I lifted up her dress
On Thursday I saw it (cor blimey)
Friday I put my hand upon it
Saturday she gave my balls a swing (balls a swiiiing)
And Sunday after supper I rammed me fucker up her
And now I'm paying seven and six a week (cor blimey)

I don't want to join the Navy.
I don't want to go to sea.
I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground,
Living on the earnings of a high born lady.
I don't need no Frenchy women,
London's full of girls I never had.
I want to stay in Blighty, Lord Gawd Almighty,
Following in the footsteps of me dad.



Loads of song lyrics here

http://www.diamondgeezers.org.uk/sounds/lyrics/index.html
 
#13
Lyrics
I Used to Work in Chicago
I used to work in Chicago,
In an old department store,
I used to work in Chicago,
I don't work there any more.

A woman came in for some meat,
Some meat from the store,
Some meat she wanted,
porked she got
I don't work there any more

you can then use the following or make up more:

glazed doughnut she wanted. cream filled she got
brass taps she wanted, golden shower she got
Beefeater Gin she wanted, eat her I did
quick service she wanted, quickly serviced she got
ground coffee she wanted, grind her I did
jumper she wanted, jump her I did
liquor she wanted, lick her I did
elevator she wanted, my shaft she got
carpet she wanted, deep shag she got
hammer she wanted, nailed she got
gun she wanted, banged she got
watering can she wanted, hosed she got
floppy disk she wanted, hard drive she got
velvet she wanted, felt she got
liquor she wanted, lick her I did
bolts she wanted, my nuts she got
sailors she wanted, semen she got
ham she wanted, porked she got
cigarette she wanted, my pipe she got
pipe she wanted, hosed she got
Plumber she wanted, pipes cleaned she got
butter she wante, spread she got
seafood she wanted, crabs she got
carpet she wanted, shag she got
nail she wanted, screw she got
fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got
helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got
translator she wanted, cunning linguist she got
KitKat she wanted, four fingers she got
Irish airlilne ticket from the store, Air Lingus she wanted, cunnilingus she got
a hand she wanted, fisted she got
diamond choker she wanted, pearl necklace she got
lobster thermidor she wanted, creamed clam she got
German method of coal extraction she wanted, mine shaft she got
duck she wanted, I misunderstood
Open cast coal mine she wanted, deep shaft she got
A ruler she wanted, 12 inches she got
Some lettuce she wanted, head she got!
An O Henry she wanted, Mr. Big she got!
A Big Mac she wanted, a Whopper she got
A screen door she wanted, slammed she got!
Some fireworks she wanted, banged she got!
A Big Mac she wanted, super-sized she got!
Some Pringles she wanted, the pop she got!
Some tile she wanted, laid she got!
A vacuum she wanted, sucked she got!
Some dinner she wanted, ate out she got!
A lollipop she wanted, licked she got!
Some Shakespeare she wanted, Dickens she got!
piano she wanted, my organ she got
chips she wanted, lays she got
racoon she wanted, my beaver she got
carpet she wanted, rugburn she got
muscle car she wanted, my hot rod she got
pickle she wanted, my cucumber she got
a hat she wanted, my helmet she got.
a damp cat she wanted, wet pussy she got.
chair leg she wanted, table ends she got.
turkey she wanted, gobbles she got.
Barbecue she wanted, spit roast she got
Fabric she wanted, felt she got
Cake from the store, layer she wanted, lay her I did
Truck she wanted, Rammed she got
tire she wanted, rimmed she got
basketball she wanted, hooped she got
Sea Cat she wanted, wet pussy she got
Sprite she wanted, 7-Up she got
Flag she wanted, jolly roger she got
Ford she wanted, probe she got
 
#14
Just remebered one-unlikely to be performed now in these PC days, but reproduced for historical interest

Sambo was al lazy coon
Used to sleep in the afternoon
So tired was he (so tired was he)
Off to the jungle he would go
Swinging his chopper to and fro
When along came a bee (A what?)
A fukkin great bee

"Fly away you bumble bee I ain't no rose
I ain't no syphillis tree, get off my fukkin nose
Get off my nasal organ I ain't no queer
If you want some fanny you can fuk my granny but there ain't no arse 'oles here"

Arse holes rule the Navy
Arse holes rule the navy
Arse holes ruuuuuuule the navy
But there ain't no arse hole here

Brylcream rules the Air Force etc

Bullshit rules the Army
Bullshit rules the army
Bullshit ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuules the army
and ther's plenty of bullshit here
 
#16
No idea what the tune is but a favorite of mine:

North and South and East and West,
My baby likes it when I cum on her chest,
Tit Fcuk Ooooooo Tit Fcuk ahhhhhhhh
T.I.T.F U.C.K

You might think that it's a rumour
but my baby likes it when I cum on her tumour
Cancer fcuk Ooooooo Cancer Fcuk Ahhhhh
C.A.N cer F.U.C.K

Fcuk that baby 'till it's dead
Aim for the soft spot on it's head,
Baby fcuk oooooooo Baby fcuk Ahhhhhhh
B.A.B.Y F.U.C.K
 
#17
I remember a slight variation of the words:

We are the Middlesex,
diehards are we.
We'll fight through shit and slaughter
Just for the sake of the Colonel's daughter.

[the rest is the same]

1964 -1968 I was a member of the William Ellis School CCF, whose
Army section (we were also big enough in those days to have an RAF section, but everyone had to a year in the Army section first before they could transfer) was badged to the Middlesex Regiment (disbanded 1966, if I remember rightly). We used to sing hundreds of these songs in the back of the 4-tonner on the way to and from exercises.
 
#18
Murphy_Slaw said:
(Sung to the tune of "Wallaby Song")

CHORUS:Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best.
* a wallaby!
Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best.
* a wallaby!

Blow your rocks in an ox boys, blow your rocks in an ox.
* a wallaby!
Blow your rocks in an ox boys, blow your rocks in an ox.
* a wallaby!

In the spunk of a skunk boys, in the spunk of a skunk.
* a wallaby!
In the spunk of a skunk boys, in the spunk of a skunk.
* a wallaby!

In the rear of a deer boys, in the rear of a deer.
* a wallaby!
In the rear of a deer boys, in the rear of a deer.
* a wallaby!

Litrally hundreds of verses, and you can make up your own.
In the words of Bart Simpson, while running in a squad,

"We are happy, we are merry
We got a rhyming dictionary".

google slang + penis and then run the answers through a rhyming dictionary. You will never be beaten at "Bestialty's Best" drinking games ever again.
 
#19
RE forum

loads of singalongs in this thread. :D :D :D :D
 
#20
I wish I was a fascinating bitch,
I'd never be poor I'd always be rich,
Live in a house with a little red light,
sleep all day and work all night,
Once a month I'd have a little rest,
Drive my customers wild,
Thats if I was a fascinating bitch'
And not an illegitimate child.
 
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