This from the local fishwrap: " Police in Walkerton, Ont., had a surprising encounter with a suspected drunk driver on the holiday weekend when he refused to take a breath test - he chose to eat parts of his clothes instead. the suspect, a 19 year old man...was sitting in his car with the lights off on a country road in the early hours of Monday morning, police said.[ surely sitting, not moving, constitutes ' not driving ' - see an out if his lawyer is smart ] South Bruce OPP approached the vehicle and determined that the man was intoxicated and arrested him on suspicion of impairment. While the officer was preparing to administer a breath analysis, the suspect managed to get hold of a contact lens case he had on his person, drink the lens fluid and swallow the contact lens, he then began to eat portions of his shirt and socks.. police tried to prevent his ingesting any more clothing and a scuffle ensued forcing the suspect to be subdued with pepper spray [ bet that added a bit to the taste of the shirt and socks ] Finally transported to jail, he shoved his head into a toilet in the holding cell and refused to provide the required breath sample." the charge for refusing a breathalyzer amounts to pretty much the same fine and penalties as impaired driving in the first place so he comes out no further ahead, really. His name has not been released to the press. cognitive impairment brought on by excessive imbibation or smart thinking defensive tactic?..only the court case will tell I'm sure there have been many similar inspired avoidance manoeuvers performed by ARRSE habitues over the years.. anyone care to elaborate??