• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Dream on

#1
Everybody has weird dreams but I'd like to know what the f*ck was going on in my other half's head when she told me about this heartwarming tale a while back.

Her "I had a really wierd dream last night, you'll never guess what it was about."

Me "Probably something about fairies and fluffy things, ahahaha."

Her "No, it was about John Carew the footballer."

Me "Oh, John Carew the footballer, good job you mentioned that, I might of thought it was some other Carew I know, is this gonna take long? :roll: "

Her "Well, we were in a room, I think it was a party or something."

Me "Life changing stuff love, whats the point?"

Her "Well, all of a sudden he was ejaculating all over my face"

Me ....... 8O

Her "There was loads of it, it just kept coming and coming"

Me ......... :?

Her "It felt like I was drowning, I woke up and couldn't breath properly, isn't that strange?"

Me .......... 8O :? .............. :cry:

Then of she toddles away with the fairies.

Now,

1. What the f*ck was all that about?
2. Should I be worried?
3. Is she certifiable?

Theories please.
 
#3
I dreamt once that mine and the former Ms Reni's aborted foetus had set up shop in my front room, after a few apologies and an uncomfortable silence its head started growing at an alarming rate and it developed the same 70's footballer hairdo my old man sported, it also had an alarmingly posh accent and was quite rightly miffed about its predicament.
 
#4
reni_77 said:
I dreamt once that mine and the former Ms Reni's aborted foetus had set up shop in my front room, after a few apologies and an uncomfortable silence its head started growing at an alarming rate and it developed the same 70's footballer hairdo my old man sported, it also had an alarmingly posh accent and was quite rightly miffed about its predicament.
You are Kevin Keegan and I claim my £5.
 
#5
I'm sure you have nuffin' to worry about Dukula. However.... just to be on the safe side.... i think Carew is gonna have to be greased. Assemble a six man Rezzy squad and introduce the fekker to the fat end of a baseball bat! :lol:
 
#6
reni_77 said:
I dreamt once that mine and the former Ms Reni's aborted foetus had set up shop in my front room, after a few apologies and an uncomfortable silence its head started growing at an alarming rate and it developed the same 70's footballer hairdo my old man sported, it also had an alarmingly posh accent and was quite rightly miffed about its predicament.
Did it's head continue growing? Did you wake up screaming "Timmmaaaaayyyy"?
 
#8
duckula said:
reni_77 said:
I dreamt once that mine and the former Ms Reni's aborted foetus had set up shop in my front room, after a few apologies and an uncomfortable silence its head started growing at an alarming rate and it developed the same 70's footballer hairdo my old man sported, it also had an alarmingly posh accent and was quite rightly miffed about its predicament.
Did it's head continue growing? Did you wake up screaming "Timmmaaaaayyyy"?
No, I woke up, shook her awake, told her about it, she then started booing and caressing her empty belly so I went downstairs for a 'Fools an 'orses' marathon on Sky..
 
#9
Doogonk said:
I'm sure you have nuffin' to worry about Dukula. However.... just to be on the safe side.... i think Carew is gonna have to be greased. Assemble a six man Rezzy squad and introduce the fekker to the fat end of a baseball bat! :lol:
It's not JC I'm worried about, it's the crazy lady that lies next to me at night........... She watches me sleep you know.... 8O
 
#14
I kid you all not... Saturday morning and I dreamt we'd won the Lottery and moved out to the West Country... OOOAAARRR. We had a big feck off swimming pool and the neighbour was Adolf Hitler who kept peering over the fence asking if he could have a go.... is it time for my medicine nurse?
 

Latest Threads