Dr Thoms Advert - How Do they Do That?

#1
I keep seeing and scratching my 'Manly Bits' at the advert at the top of the Forums.... "Dr Thoms - Sexually Transmitted Diseases Diagnosed by Post"

Being a bit on the 'slow side'..... does that mean if I have a really bad Itch down below... and I have a stinking green snot lke discharge from ye bell-end... to have it 'Diagnosed' by post, all I have to do is w*nk into a 'Jiffy Bag', seal it up, take it to the local post office and post it off??

This sounds better than going down to the local VD Clinic where I live.... It's right at the back of the local hospital near the back door to the staff canteen.... yuck...!!! The sniggers from the nurisng staff.... it's soooo embarassing..... :p :p
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#2
They're tailored personally to the recipient. It works by bouncing a UV beam from your monitor to the tinfoil in your kitchen cupboards and then onwards to your brain. This beam then transmits through your eyes back to the computer. A complicated algorithm then converts it to code and adjusts the advert accordingly.

You dirty slapper.
 
K

Kirkz

Guest
#5
Sixty said:
They're tailored personally to the recipient. It works by bouncing a UV beam from your monitor to the tinfoil in your kitchen cupboards and then onwards to your brain. This beam then transmits through your eyes back to the computer. A complicated algorithm then converts it to code and adjusts the advert accordingly.

You dirty slapper.
Sooooo I don't have to w@nk onto a DVD and let it auto run on my system then?
 
#6
uncle_vanya said:
Being a bit on the 'slow side'..... does that mean if I have a really bad Itch down below... and I have a stinking green snot lke discharge from ye bell-end... to have it 'Diagnosed' by post, all I have to do is w*nk into a 'Jiffy Bag', seal it up, take it to the local post office and post it off??
They do a phone consultation & if appropriate get you to go to one of their clinics (extra charge), or send you a pot & swabs in the post, you swab yourself & pee in a pot. Sometime later you get the results & treatment if needed, then charge you £50 to £150 before treatment for the service. The treatment costs £50 for something that costs the NHS £9

Or go to your local clinic get your results quicker with consultation & treatment for free.

Now spend the money you saved on tarts & hookers
 
#7
I just use condoms and save a fucking fortune.
 
#8
I had a medical complaint recently!
I was asked to provide a stool sample and also a urine and semen sample.....I sent them a pair of my underpants in a jiffy-bag.
hope that helps.
 
#9
uncle_vanya said:
This sounds better than going down to the local VD Clinic where I live.... It's right at the back of the local hospital near the back door to the staff canteen.... yuck...!!! The sniggers from the nurisng staff.... it's soooo embarassing..... :p :p
Reminds me of working the desk at QEMH and clerking in some sweet Chelsea Pensioner, thinking how he reminded me of grandad, until I realised he was attending the pox clinic for the syph he picked up in Malaysia...dirty old man :lol:
 
#10
Pox_Dr said:
uncle_vanya said:
Being a bit on the 'slow side'..... does that mean if I have a really bad Itch down below... and I have a stinking green snot lke discharge from ye bell-end... to have it 'Diagnosed' by post, all I have to do is w*nk into a 'Jiffy Bag', seal it up, take it to the local post office and post it off??
They do a phone consultation & if appropriate get you to go to one of their clinics (extra charge), or send you a pot & swabs in the post, you swab yourself & pee in a pot. Sometime later you get the results & treatment if needed, then charge you £50 to £150 before treatment for the service. The treatment costs £50 for something that costs the NHS £9

Or go to your local clinic get your results quicker with consultation & treatment for free.


Now spend the money you saved on tarts & hookers
Or DIY.. half lint of caustic soda poured into the urethra.
 
#11
Pox_Dr said:
The treatment costs £50 for something that costs the NHS £9
But going private does mean:-

You'll get a free cup of tea.

You're unlikely to meet any of your neighbours' teenage offspring scratching their crotch in the waiting room and wondering how to spell chlamydia.

You wont finish your treatment minus a kidney due to a regrettable mistake that caused lessons to be learned regarding the employment of nurse practitioners from Uzbekistan.

You wont walk in needing penicillin and walk out needing vancomycin.
 

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