Has anyone else experienced the medical advice of his holyness The Emperor Mong and had a disaster with self teatment? I had a heavy cold and chest infection recently and rather than get proper teatment I consulted the Emperor, who told me he has a medical qualification of some sort. He said eating chillies would clear my blocked nose and ease my chest. Following his advice I cooked a pork stir fry with a stack of fresh green chillies - it was a real humdinger. Sure enough it cleared my nose - I fact I spent the rest of the evening looking like I had been snorting CS - what I hadn't bargained on was the other side effects (Mwahhahaha). 2 minutes after getting in to bed the first gut rumble hit and I just about got to the bog before what felt like a river of fire shot from my jacksy. That was the first of more than a dozen trips to the toilet, interspersed by short bouts of trying to grab some shut eye (he one plus point was that by now my nose was so blocked that at least I couldn't really smell the rank honk now filling the house - missus did comment though). Eventually lying in bed feeling totally wrung out I thought I had got rid of it all. And then I started sneezing. The sneeze pressure must have been just enough to force out the last thimble of liquid fire from my guts. Worse still as I tried to slide myself out of bed on my side clutching my buttocks together in the vain hope it would contain the effluent the cramp set in. Dr Mong has since told me that sleep deprivation combined with pain and total stomach evacuation is a sure fire cure for a cold. Have any other ARRSERs undertaken self treatment under the Emperor's direction?