DOSE - CRABS, SCABS or OTHER

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BRUMMIE_HORN, Feb 14, 2007.

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  1. Come on then, which of you, like me, suffered a dose, during our service?

    Serving in the RAMC we all experienced seeing the symptoms and effects but who suffered?

    Starter for ten, I must admit, I did suffer a slight "razor blade" sensation, had a crab or two, and some other unknown infection, kept me away from the 1st Gulf, cheers! :thumright:

    I had AIDS once, that was a fooker to get rid of! And I did know what a Thomas Splint was.
     
  2. So did Dvr B - I prescribed Algipan for a gag. Shave them pubes son and apply liberally :biggrin:
    I liked to live dangerously. He collared me a week later - marvellous Bull - all cleared up.
    Never caught one meself - not through lack of trying down TMA or the flats in Hanover.
    You only started this thread to get three medals :thumleft:
     
  3. [quote="Silver_Bull]

    I prescribed Algipan for a gag. [/quote]

    :numberone: ROFLMAO remind me not to come to you with anything :numberone: :thumright:

    I ended up with a dose of NSU after boning some kraut slapper in Bielefeld. The MO told me to rub this Benzyl Benzoate on after a bath for 2 days or so then it would clear up, which it did so I went out and boned her again cos I still had some left :thumright:
     
  4. :numberone: ROFLMAO remind me not to come to you with anything :numberone: :thumright:

    [/quote]

    My fulltime medical career was shortlived - I admit to having a sadistic streak. Without going too much off topic I was at Bielefeld Med Centre for while and remember cutting this lads ingrowing toenail out. Gave him a local and the needle hit the bone "Stop screaming man I've got a banging head was on the p8ss with the combat linies last night" :thumleft:
     
  5. :numberone: ROFLMAO remind me not to come to you with anything :numberone: :thumright:

    I ended up with a dose of NSU after boning some kraut slapper in Bielefeld. The MO told me to rub this Benzyl Benzoate on after a bath for 2 days or so then it would clear up, which it did so I went out and boned her again cos I still had some left :thumright:[/quote]

    Med1c1cneman you are a legend! Tell us more filthy stories!
     
  6. The old chap had developed a painful dribble so I said to the MO, 'I think it's caught a cold sir', he looked pointedly at his wrist watch and said, 'If it ain't sneezed in two minutes, you've got a dose'.
     
  7. Ways of getting rid of crabs.

    Firstly these one's DON'T work: - drowning in the swimming pool, lighter fluid, after shave.

    Secondly, these one's DO work: - shaving and going to the doc's to get special anti-crab cream.

    Thirdly, this also works but I wish I'd heard of the others before I self-medicated: - Deep Heat spray (OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!)
     
  8. Not recommended for the self Med route :thumleft:

    I can see this thread moved :winkrazz:
     
  9. This don't work either but it's funny !!

    Ingredients: Razor, box of matches, lighter fluid and a cocktail stick

    Method. Shave half the pubic area, douse the other half in lighter fluid and set light to it.

    Crabs don't like heat so when they run out you stab the bastar*s with the cocktail stick :thumleft:
     
  10. As predicted moved - but a step up from the Hole Brother Horn :thumleft:
     
  11. Why has my thread been moved?? I was just highlighting some of the day to day things that we had to put up with, which, can be funny. Mind you getting your Japs scraped with a cocktail umbrella isn't!

    Crab races down the corridor, that used to pass time between stagging on and nick!
     
  12. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    Because the great Arrse unwashed need this kind of thread to discuss STD's out in the open.
     
  13. had a penile (think thats what it was called) wart on my todger once, took the duty landrover down to the "special Clinic" in taunton to get it sorted, never having been in one before and being a good little bootie walked in and found the room segregated with two curtained off compartments, well we sat outside them and watched all the fanny go into one curtained off area and blokes go into another, it never occured to us that these where for privacy, we just clocked the local slappers going in and made a mental note that they'd be clean next week and were obviously game lasses.

    After having some evil stinging acid applied to my nob I went outside for a ciggy and to wait for the rest of the lads, to my horror due to the Queen visiting Taunton that day there was a local film crew filming historic buildings for a feature that night on the news,so that evening I watched myself (and so did my parents) in full technocolour glory dressed in ron hills and helly hanson smoking a fag underneath a big sign saying "special Clinic"......got some shite off the lads for that one! :neutral:
     
  14. I once caught scabies of a barmain. Ferking tart. At one point it felt like my legs were moving on their own, which casued me to scratch like mad. I got some cream which eventually cleared it up.


    There was an oppo of mine who had penile warts. He used to call them clitoral stimulators. However, he later had to use acid to burn them off. OUCH.

    Cheers

    Steve
     
  15. Was that a bit of a freudian slip there fella? Hmmm? Barman? Barmaid? could be construed as either...


    Edited: because I monged a word too :shock: