Door To Door Fake Cloggies

#1
I just loved this.

Last night had a knock at the door where a women (pikey) said in a very poor impersonation of a cloggy... "Shorry to disturb you, I am from Holland." Before she could go any further I asked in my perfekt cloggish - Oh good, I used to live in the city of Arnhem, where in Holland are you from?

To which she responded in pikey accent "Yes."

I then said in my less than perfect English... Oh I am glad you're from Holland, for one moment then I thought you were a pikey and I fcuking hate Pikeys... then went on a little more in Cloggish finishing with Dooi (goodbye) to which she responded "Yes."

Pikeys.... don't you just hate em...
 
#2
Mr_Deputy said:
where's this?
Pickering, North Yorkshire...

To be honest... I treat any cnut who comes knocking on my door selling - as a potential criminal or just casing the place and usually just abruptly fek em off. But claiming to be from Holland... couldn't resist.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#3
It's totally disgusting what they do. I am all for using the sympathy approach, but claiming to be Dutch! That is just as low as you can get. And there are all those poor Hollanders who will be tarnished with this approach, even though they are bravely trying to drag themselves into the 21st Century, to overcome years, decades of predjudice, and these pikeys undo all the hard work that has been done!
 
#4
old_fat_and_hairy said:
It's totally disgusting what they do. I am all for using the sympathy approach, but claiming to be Dutch! That is just as low as you can get. And there are all those poor Hollanders who will be tarnished with this approach, even though they are bravely trying to drag themselves into the 21st Century, to overcome years, decades of predjudice, and these pikeys undo all the hard work that has been done!
:lol:
 
#5
BanjoBill said:
Mr_Deputy said:
where's this?
Pickering, North Yorkshire...

To be honest... I treat any cnut who comes knocking on my door selling - as a potential criminal or just casing the place and usually just abruptly fek em off. But claiming to be from Holland... couldn't resist.
And rightly so... I just release the dogs....two huge GSPs hitting the front door at speed tends to put most off....
 
#6
Had two Jehovah's W arrive at the door the other day. Waited 'til they got to the pacifist bit then told them I was serving. They made a beeline for the garden gate
 
#7
BobMugabe said:
Had two Jehovah's W arrive at the door the other day. Waited 'til they got to the pacifist bit then told them I was serving. They made a beeline for the garden gate
You have JoBo's out there in Zim. Are you going to have them beaten and shot by some of your loyal "war veterans?!?!" :D
 
#8
I normally remain silent until the drug-addled pikey scum give their spiel about lost bus fare/abuse by catholic priests/etc and reply

"Ya ne ponyemayoo pah-angleeski" :evil:
 
#9
old_fat_and_hairy said:
It's totally disgusting what they do. I am all for using the sympathy approach, but claiming to be Dutch! That is just as low as you can get. And there are all those poor Hollanders who will be tarnished with this approach, even though they are bravely trying to drag themselves into the 21st Century, to overcome years, decades of predjudice, and these pikeys undo all the hard work that has been done!
AI AM OUWTRADESJT!

Ahem. I AM OUTRAGED!

Now, if anyone can help me. I've been thrown out of my windmill by my partner, who -I am proud to say....
 
#11
Do you like dags?
 
#13
#14
Got the DVD's mate... or did have til my lad moved out... thieving cnut.... have now banned him borrowing DVD's til we get some back. :x
 
#15
Cloggie said:
Do you like dags?
If there is someone at the front door my dags always go mental.

If it is someone undesireable (Pikeys, Salesmen, Jehovahs etc etc) I give them 5 seconds to get off my property before I open the hallway door to let the hounds out.

Works every time. :wink:
 
#16
Unfortunately I live in Scotland now, lol and even though I'm on a farm, I'm not sure I can get away with shooting them and burying them in the countryside
 
#17
BobMugabe said:
Unfortunately I live in Scotland now, lol and even though I'm on a farm, I'm not sure I can get away with shooting them and burying them in the countryside
Worth giving it a whirl though... never know your luck :idea:
 
#18
BobMugabe said:
Had two Jehovah's W arrive at the door the other day. Waited 'til they got to the pacifist bit then told them I was serving. They made a beeline for the garden gate
I got trapped by them once, got out their book and waffled on for ages, nice book with pretty pics I thought.

Anyway, they got to this bit about paradise being created from the ashes of a major war when I asked them ,in that case, they supported Nuclear Arms

"No" they replied "we are pacifists, we believe in the end of all war"

"then how the feck you going to get to paradise if you are successful in ending all war?" I replied

Cue wide eyes , gaping mouths and a slammed door
 

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