dooh

#2
Chuck it up her dung trumpet on the centre spot while the band are playing the National Anthem, then if

A) Someone doesn't run out towards you with a machete screaming like a demented Tourettes sufferer

or

B) You hear the sad sound manly sobs followed by a single shot ringing out

You have a Bunny Boiler, and a stinking Leeds one at that
 
#5
My Ex from a few years back looked & sounded ok,But I started to get warning sign's when she repeatedly washed,dried & rewashed her curly (head) hair if it did'nt sit right.Then she got my sheers & gave herself a No.2!!
Final clue was when she threw the little kitten at the wall when it tried to paw some scraps off her plate!!That was the last straw,I exdexed her & kept the kitten!!
BIATCH!
 
#6
Classic signs in my experience - any of these should set the alarm bells a clangin'


more than one cat

more than one cuddly toy in the bedroom - particular alarm if they are arranged decoratively on the bed, bedside cabinet, or shelf

Complete collection of "friends" DVD/Vids in the living room

juicer in the kitchen on prominent display (ie. rather than hidden in cupboard being not used)
 
#9
labrat said:
Classic signs in my experience - any of these should set the alarm bells a clangin'

more than one cuddly toy in the bedroom - particular alarm if they are arranged decoratively on the bed, bedside cabinet, or shelf
So So True

Especially if she hides the vibrator under one of them and acts coyly when you find it!!!

(& doesn't let you play with it together -in case anyone adds a failure of skills!)
 
#10
polar said:
labrat said:
more than one cat
erm .. That sounds like the missus. bumps.. we got enaged after 8 days
I pity the fool who gets engaged after 8 days! 8O
 
#11
labrat said:
Classic signs in my experience - any of these should set the alarm bells a clangin'


more than one cat

more than one cuddly toy in the bedroom - particular alarm if they are arranged decoratively on the bed, bedside cabinet, or shelf

Complete collection of "friends" DVD/Vids in the living room

juicer in the kitchen on prominent display (ie. rather than hidden in cupboard being not used)
Only wish this advice was available a couple of years ago, ex of mine had all the above traits, but bollox, I'd just got back to UK from Iraq - Nuts into overdrive!

3rd date - cinema and some shopping. Crappy chick flick followed buy window shopping. The first shop visited was the jewelers - She started looking at rings :omfg: I started sweating!

Got back to hers and she started talking about moving in and having kids - I ended it, she still thought we were seeing each other and stalked me for ages. Scary Biyatch! Beware of German Bunny Boilers!!!

CC_TA Edited as this morning I am mostly being a mong!
 
#12
Oh yes, german bunny boilers are very, very, very ze dangeroos type sieg heil.

They vill tek yoo to ze concentration room to be tried out first......
 
#13
If her weekly shopping consists of cat food, white wine and chocolate
 
#14
counterstrike said:
polar said:
labrat said:
more than one cat
erm .. That sounds like the missus. bumps.. we got enaged after 8 days
I pity the fool who gets engaged after 8 days! 8O
I at least had the moral fibre to hold out for anal and swallowing before becoming engaged.



Mind you, it all went out the fcukin' door after the bridal waltz :x
 
#15
labrat said:
Classic signs in my experience - any of these should set the alarm bells a clangin'


more than one cat

more than one cuddly toy in the bedroom - particular alarm if they are arranged decoratively on the bed, bedside cabinet, or shelf

Complete collection of "friends" DVD/Vids in the living room

juicer in the kitchen on prominent display (ie. rather than hidden in cupboard being not used)
Well-put. What you're talking about is the total lack of evidence that any man has stuck around long enough to unpack his toothbrush within the last five years.

Also:

Hundreds of pictures in cutesy-artsy frames of her and her friends on holiday in Greece, Spain, Florida, etc...man-free.

And if ALL of the above signs are in place, then do a little more digging around her bedroom. I guarantee you'll find a fluffy scrapbook full of magazine clippings about weddings that she's been working on since she was 19. Napkin patterns, dress styles, color swatches, cake toppings, honeymoon destinations, everything but an actual groom. You lads may have never come across this book, but I can assure you -- if the woman in question meets all of the above criteria, you will find this frightening tome semi-hidden somewhere.
 
#18
TankiesYank said:
And if ALL of the above signs are in place, then do a little more digging around her bedroom. I guarantee you'll find a fluffy scrapbook full of magazine clippings about weddings that she's been working on since she was 19. Napkin patterns, dress styles, color swatches, cake toppings, honeymoon destinations, everything but an actual groom. You lads may have never come across this book, but I can assure you -- if the woman in question meets all of the above criteria, you will find this frightening tome semi-hidden somewhere.
Oooooooooooooooooh, that's SO you, I found it tucked down the back of the sofa... :D
 
#19
and having her own School art projects framed on her bedroom walll, even the ones done in biro on a sheet of lined A4 paper!!

and not being in anyway deviant either!

Oddball.
 
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