Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by polar, May 19, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. dooh
  2. Chuck it up her dung trumpet on the centre spot while the band are playing the National Anthem, then if

    A) Someone doesn't run out towards you with a machete screaming like a demented Tourettes sufferer


    B) You hear the sad sound manly sobs followed by a single shot ringing out

    You have a Bunny Boiler, and a stinking Leeds one at that
  3. If she talks about marriage and babies within 5 mins of meeting you....leg it asap :lol:
  4. Tell me the organiser isn't a certain blonde female who dares to excel... 8O
  5. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    My Ex from a few years back looked & sounded ok,But I started to get warning sign's when she repeatedly washed,dried & rewashed her curly (head) hair if it did'nt sit right.Then she got my sheers & gave herself a No.2!!
    Final clue was when she threw the little kitten at the wall when it tried to paw some scraps off her plate!!That was the last straw,I exdexed her & kept the kitten!!
  6. Classic signs in my experience - any of these should set the alarm bells a clangin'

    more than one cat

    more than one cuddly toy in the bedroom - particular alarm if they are arranged decoratively on the bed, bedside cabinet, or shelf

    Complete collection of "friends" DVD/Vids in the living room

    juicer in the kitchen on prominent display (ie. rather than hidden in cupboard being not used)
  7. dooh
  8. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    If it has breasts then eventually you will discover the inner lapin-chef......FACT.
  9. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    So So True

    Especially if she hides the vibrator under one of them and acts coyly when you find it!!!

    (& doesn't let you play with it together -in case anyone adds a failure of skills!)
  10. I pity the fool who gets engaged after 8 days! 8O
  11. Only wish this advice was available a couple of years ago, ex of mine had all the above traits, but bollox, I'd just got back to UK from Iraq - Nuts into overdrive!

    3rd date - cinema and some shopping. Crappy chick flick followed buy window shopping. The first shop visited was the jewelers - She started looking at rings :omfg: I started sweating!

    Got back to hers and she started talking about moving in and having kids - I ended it, she still thought we were seeing each other and stalked me for ages. Scary Biyatch! Beware of German Bunny Boilers!!!

    CC_TA Edited as this morning I am mostly being a mong!
  12. Oh yes, german bunny boilers are very, very, very ze dangeroos type sieg heil.

    They vill tek yoo to ze concentration room to be tried out first......
  13. If her weekly shopping consists of cat food, white wine and chocolate
  14. I at least had the moral fibre to hold out for anal and swallowing before becoming engaged.

    Mind you, it all went out the fcukin' door after the bridal waltz :x
  15. Well-put. What you're talking about is the total lack of evidence that any man has stuck around long enough to unpack his toothbrush within the last five years.


    Hundreds of pictures in cutesy-artsy frames of her and her friends on holiday in Greece, Spain, Florida,

    And if ALL of the above signs are in place, then do a little more digging around her bedroom. I guarantee you'll find a fluffy scrapbook full of magazine clippings about weddings that she's been working on since she was 19. Napkin patterns, dress styles, color swatches, cake toppings, honeymoon destinations, everything but an actual groom. You lads may have never come across this book, but I can assure you -- if the woman in question meets all of the above criteria, you will find this frightening tome semi-hidden somewhere.